I need to know why he would cheat if he say's I gave him everything?

Question

When I found out my husband cheated and we talked a bit about it he say's he dosen't know why he did it. He said he had sex, he had affection he had love he had everything he needed. I want to ask him more about why he did it but I told him we were to forget it and never talk about it again that I would never throw it in his face. It's just that I can't get it out of my head what would cause him to do this to me he was my first and I was his first?

Answer 1

You won't be able to forget about it . A part of your relationship has passed away. You feel like something has died and it was your perfect idea of how life should be. It is rare when two people go through life having had sex with only each other. How much importance you place on this matter is the key to your survival.

Answer 2

okay if it is still on your mind then you need to bring it up again!!! no yelling just talking! tell him youi need a reason why he said that why he did it! tell him to be a friend and not a married couple... you know it is hard for both people to do that! but you need to do it! you need to trust him and communicate with him or your marriage will be down the drain in no time!!!

My personal opinion!!!
Leave him Cheating never works! and if you feel tthat baddly about yourself to stay with someone who doesn't respect you then get some help friends group something!!! NO ONE NEEDS that not even the UGLEST person in the world!!!
the first have nothing to do about it!!! the onlything i would say that didn't work out is your marrage being so early in life! both first sweet! but he isn't faithfull! umm maybe the marrage should of waited! what do you think!!! do you think you could handle finding out that he cheated again? how well would you deal with it if it was in your house? How will handle being lied to? if you can't handle these things well the TAKE A STEP BACK and look at YOUR live not BOth of your lives!

Answer 3

first of all if you did give him everything he needed and he really did love you....HE WOULDN'T HAVE CHEATED. don't take that the wrong way, it's not your fault he cheated. if he had issues with you he should have been man enough to come to you about them, not another woman. and secondly, forgetting about it and not talking about it isn't gonna solve it. that only builds hidden anger, hurt, and resentment towards him for his actions. i think the only thing to say to this is that some men cheat, some don't; just like some women cheat and some don't. you've got to figure out what is gonna make you happy in the long run. forgive him, yes, but i know from experience you will never forget. in turn because one, this has altered your relationship forever and has brought it to a turning point for either better or worse,if there is even hope for the realtionship to continue( which i think is totally up to you) and secondly, whether or not you stay with him, it will change you, your life, and the way you view things from now on

Answer 4

because he's a man! not just that he's a man, he's an undisciplined one! he doesn't know how to control his temptations or if he's done it for so long he just let go. u have the right to ask him questions because he's not having a marriage by his self is he? u should ask him if everything's good then y r u being greedy? u've got one woman how many do u need? n if he can't give u the answers that r up to ur standards then u should give him a taste of his own medicine(im not saying u should cheat) im saying that if he doesn't want to be bothered with it y should u? he's out having fun cheating, u go do the same(have fun don't cheat lol)! then he'll start asking questions n u bring back up ur old ones. i hope i helped n if it doesn't make ne sense i can help u better understand!

Answer 5

I hate to tell you this but none of us can answer this question definitively. I will try to answer this with the VERY little information you have given me.

A man needs to feel important. Honored even to his significant other. Is it possible that you neglected him in some way and this other lady came along making him feel important?

I know it will be hard but you need to talk abut it with your husband. He will be the only one with an absolutely definitive answer.

I wish you two the best. You seem like a good lady. Not many would give the other a second chance. If you two can figure out how to rebuild trust, you might just have a chance. Again, I wish you the best.

Answer 6

It sounds like here, that you are questioning yourself,and where you went wrong,rather than; he was the one in the wrong.
Obviously, you will not be able to forget this and never speak of it again. Nice thought ,but letting him off the hook,when you are so heartsick isn't going to work.
If he really feels so badly and doesn't understand why he cheated, then you must go to the next step and talk to your minister, or go to marriage counceling.
Trust is one of the most important things in a marriage, and when it's gone, it's gone, if you don't take care of it now.

Answer 7

I think he has no will power and resistance. Maybe curiosity, since you are both each others first. Usually if this is any comfort to you. Alot of men cannot experience ejaculation or long periods of erections, out of guilt of being unfaithful with the individual that he or she was with. However, you really need to monitor his behavior now. They say it's easier to be unfaithful after the first time. It is, because the individual usually finds ways to 1. cover their tracks 2. Can find an outlet to criticism. 3. excuse the affair conscience's to him/herself. I think he wanted to see just how different sex was outside of your relationship. While I was in my first marriage I cheated out of curiosity and coos from another that my wife at the time did not give me. Guess what? I came clean she forgave me and I did it again, more or less to the extreme. We ended up divorcing after 7yrs of marriage.

Answer 8

Like they say you dont know what you have till you loose it so hey its weird how it works 'cause you only find out till its gone I say you both really need to sit down and get your doubts out of you, right know and a couple of months you will be okay but as more time goes by it would bother you more and if you feel he is cheating you are always going to think bad remember you are not at fault here he cheated on you dont make him turn it around on you!

Answer 9

Constantly I also ask myself, why did once my husband kissed another girl. I asked him all those same questions. But from his response I believe that at times men are "weak in the knees" or perhaps do it without thinking anything at all! But I can tell you that we were almost gonna file for divorce, but he talked to me and he said he felt nothing, that it happened but it was a mistake he admits and I forgave him. He hasn't done it again. As both men and women are at times as I said "weak in the knees" you should give him a chance! If he truly loves you he won't do it again, because he'll think this time and won't make that horrible same mistake. Best of Luck! ~V.J.~

Answer 10

i also wanted 2 get the answer in this question.
i wanted 2 know y? y exactly the reason y men are like this?
im 24 years old, been together with the father of my child 4 almost 3 years now.. i tried my best 2 always look good for him.. i can tell that i balance my life being a good mother, wife, and being good at myself... most people think that he's lucky 2 have me... but my problem is that he's watching porn site, and he gets attracted with our house helper.. i was in shock when i found out thats y.. i wanted 2 know y men r like that??
is it because he doesn't love me anymore???
because if he does love me, he wouldn't dare think anything like dat in the 1st place.. right??