My girlfriend and I have been together over the last four years off and on. We now have a 1 and a half year old son and depend on each othe financially and domestically. We have been through a lot in these four years including infidelity, lies and deception. In the recent weeks we have started rebuilding our relationship being totaly open and honest why things ended up the way that they did. I feel like I love her now more than I ever did, like we fell in love all over again for the first time. We were both raised with christian morals and values but strayed away from them in our adult lives. We now want God back in our lives and our relationship and instill those same values and morals in our children. I guess the real question is should we jump right into a legal marriage or keep building the relationship and trust? Should sex be a part of this?
2006-08-03 09:53:23 · 13 answers · asked by anthony c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The religion part is throwing wrenches into your situation that dont need to be there.....dont worry about what some 2000 year old book says and use YOUR OWN judgement
2006-08-03 09:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by kbjcw 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's a really good question. I'm not really FOR marriage, myself, because I am divorced now, but why not get married? I mean, obviously you have had issues with eachother that you were able to overcome and now things are better. If you already live together and you've already had a son together, it must be really hard to not sleep together or anything like that. I do know that whatever you have done in the past, together or not, God with forgive you for your sins, BUT, you have to really believe and try to live for him. I know that being a Christian is hard, because I have been trying for a long time, and I have slipped up many times, the good thing about it is, that when you're faced with a choice in life, when you have God on your side, you will make the right decision. And he will guide you through it if you don't. I'm proud of your family for trying to work things out. It's so much easier to walk away these days than it is to face problems in life.
2006-08-03 17:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing I would say, is work on the relationship and then marriage and the sex will fall into place. You have already been through a lot together and trying to work things out. Build up your realtionship, develop the trust again and get married and everything will fall into place. But by all means keep God in your life.
2006-08-03 17:01:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love her then what would Jesus do? he would tell you to go and marry her. Life will have trials and tribulations. You will have ups and downs like any other relationship.
God loves you and her! both of you are precious to him. He forgives you for whatever you did in the past, especially if you have asked for forgiveness.
Go ahead and get married, also go back to a non- judgemental church where people will show you honest love and respect. I don't believe you should continue to live together and abstain from sex because thats not realistic.
Ask God and pray and Iam sure he will confirm what I am writing.
Don't listen to the world because the devil is roaming the earth seeking whom he may devour!
You can do all things through Jesus Christ who strenthens you.
Phil.4:13
GOD BLESS!
2006-08-03 17:10:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you are married in God's eyes. If you live this way you are not setting the right example for your children--I'm sure you would want them to be married before living with someone and having sex. I'm not saying you should get married right away if you have some issues to resolve. If you wait for sex until after you get married it will be more special and without guilt. I'm not judging you at all, just giving my opinion on your question.
2006-08-03 17:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God would want you to be married if you are having sex. Considering your current situation I wouldn't jump into marriage. One of you should move out and give the relationship a try for a year or so and then decide if you should get married or not.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 16:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should build the relationship a little bit more and you're a Christian.....You know that you can't have sex before you're married, despite the fact that have done so already. You will be glad that you did. It's never to late to start doing the right thing. God Bless.
2006-08-03 17:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN some states shacking up for more then a year is consider "common law" marriage. If you have children in common getting married does a couple things, It provides children with a sense of stability, it also gives the child a sense of value, ie, my mom and dad did the right thing, instead of mom and the sperm donor..
2006-08-03 16:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKAY WELL I CAN RELATE. I WAS A CHRISTIAN FOR 4 YEARS WHEN I MET MY HUSBAND. HE WASNT SAVED. BUT ENDED UP GETTING SAVED BECAUSE OF MY BEING NOT ONLY A SPEAKING WITNESS BUT A WALKING WITNESS, BY BEING THE BEST EXAMPLE I COULD BE. YEA WE LIVED TOGETHER LATER ON FOR FINANCIAL REASONS AND WE SCREWED UP AND HAD SEX. THEN WE HAD MORE EX AND MORE SEX.. WELL, WE WERE LIVING IN A BACKSLIDDEN CONDITION. GOD CONVICTED ME ABOUT PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT SITUATION. WE DIDNT MOVE OUT BUT WE SET UP THE OTHER ROOM IN THE HOUSE FOR HIM AND ANOTHER FOR ME. WE AVOIDED ACTIVITIES THAT WOULD CAUSE US TO STUMBLE. WE PRAYED TOGETHER, BIBLE STUDIED TOGETHER ETC. WE ARE NOT GUARANTEED OUR NEXT BREATH. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS AT ANY MINUTE. YOU DO NOT WANT TO DIE IN SIN. GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART. HE SEES IF YOU GUYS ARE ACCOMODATING HIS WILL AND TRYING TO LIVE RIGHT. AND I MEAN BY SLEEPING IN DIFFERENT ROOMS IF YOU CANT AFFORD TO MOVE OUT. PRAY TOGETHER. GOD CAN REDEEM A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP AND MAKE THE CROOKED PATH STRAIGHT. ALSO THOUGH THIS MAY NOT BE THE WOMAN GOD HAS FOR YOU. I WOULD DEFINITALY STOP SLEEPING TOGETHER BECAUSE THAT IS SIN. THE ONLY WAY TO BE MARRIED IN GODS EYES IS TO MAKE A HOLY CEREMONY AND RECITE WEDDING VOWS BEFORE GOD. GOD HONORS MARRIAGE. HE DOES NOT HONOR FORNICATION. YOU ARE MARRIED IN THE WORLDS EYES, BUT THE BIBLE SAYS TO FOLLOW HIS LAWS. IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THIS MORE EMAIL ME... INFINITI7606@YAHOO.COM... ALSO YOU GUYS NEED TO GET PLUGGED INTO A CHURCH IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT DOING THIS RIGHT AND SERVING HIM. THERES PEEPS THER E WHO CAN HELP YOU GUYS. GIVWE HER SOME TIME TO SEE IF SHE CAN COMMIT TO GOD. IF SHE LOVES JESUS WITH ALL OF HEART. THATS THE KIND OF GIRL YOU WANT, ONE THAT PLEASES GOD... :) GOOD LUCK
2006-08-03 17:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by Holla!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO????
The Bible says that 2 people who are NOT married should NOT have sex--period!
You are not married in Gods eyes yet! GET MARRIED!!!
2006-08-03 17:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋