for the more mature?

Question

iam 36 now and i find myself looking back on my life.
what are your regrets are you more emotional but above all, do you find it more difficult to relate to the young do you forget the stages?

Answer 1

I am 32, and honestly although I have done many many reprehensible things in my younger days, I cannot regret a single one of them because my experiences made me into who I am now, which I am happy with. It took going through everything from drugs to being a slimeball to get here, but the power of the retrospect it gave me cannot be beaten. I don't regret my past , I only regret that it was necessary.

I do think I am more emotional as a result of being more aware of the entirety of the world around us as opposed to our limited world view when we are younger (or less mature). Now to think of thousands of people dying in a foreign land for example, can truly sadden me, because now to me they are People who are just located somewhere other than right in front of me, when you're younger that is harder to truly understand, because life is so 'in your face' and dramatic and there is so much to see and learn and experience that really living in the big picture is almost impossible, because your so tied up by your own world.

So now, I am a father to 5 children, and I have been through hopefully more than they will ever see. I do find it more difficult to handle SOME younger kids, but it depends largely on who and how they are. I've learned kids (or heck even 10 year younger sisters) don't want advice from our experience - no matter how blatanlty obvious the basic truths of it may be-they want an ear and maybe some good indirect advice (relating stories without passing on decisions is good, the decisions need to be their own, right or wrong though they may end up, as do the consequences). I think it is by its very nature difficult for an adult to honestly relate to kids, we are outsiders to them, from a world of careers and having children and mortgages- nor are they truly capable of being in our worlds, but we CAN understand what they are going through and we can support and guide them - but no, I am not 'in tune' with them, no matter how well we understand them.

I remember my youth, and how I felt about adults, no matter how nice or cool they were, they were still a group apart from our world. Many kids will never think adults truly understand, adults will never stop wishing kids would learn from the advice they can offer rather than making the mistakes themselves. Is this Good, bad, whose to say. Just inevitable. All we can do is be here for them, support and guide them, and hope that they can be as patient with us as we must be with them.

Answer 2

I am 33, 34 later this month. I have no regrets. I like who I am today, so even the really bad stuff that happened does not cause me regret. I don't think we forget the stages when it comes to dealing with the young. I think that there really is a generation gap. I have a 16 yr old stepson, and I just don't get these kids! But, for him there were always computers and video games, way better than the original Nintendo or Atari!!

I think it all has to do with the environment each generation grows up in. I really thought I would be laid back and all as a parent when I was a teen, to some extent I am, but it also isn't my kid.... but when I see the kids in the neighborhood doing things, or a group of teens driving around, I think we know more now and understand the drastic things that can go wrong, where we didn't fully get it as teens ourselves.

Only thing I didn't answer is am I more emotional.... I don't think so, but I am much more connected to my family (parents, siblings) than I was at that young age. I am much more sentimental about family traditions, also.

Answer 3

I'm 33 and even though I feel young, when I'm faced with a teenager I can clearly see the generational gap.

My regrets are that I spent the 20-30 decade worrying if everything would turn out fine, which they did, but the memories of fruitless, paralyzing worrying have stayed with me. Sometimes I get more emotional because I am more sensitive (or sensitized) to difficult situations. However, I now know how to avoid things that victimize me. If I could go back and give advice to my 20 year old I would tell me to shed the fear, the self-doubt and not to bend over backwards for people who never appreciated me and I would never see again by the time I'm 30. However, I will never underestimate or wish to forget the stages that gave me this hard-earned knowledge and made me who I am.

Answer 4

I'm 48. At times I've found myself looking back with regret, but then I realize that I'm very happy with my life and where I am right now. Without my past as it is, I wouldn't be where I am now.
As to relating to the young and forgetting the stages, I don't think I have issues with that. For many years I've had a wide range of friends from considerably younger than myself to those much older. My daughter is my best friend and she is 21. We love to hang out and talk about anything.

Answer 5

I am 43 years old and my regrets are easy to translate to young people, but not easily heeded by anyone listening. I should have finished college. Though I am a successful person, I am only so in spite of the fact that I never finished my education, not because of it. Also, I wish I took better care of my body. I'm overweight, had a mild heart attack a few months ago, and my back is not what it used to be. Only now I am getting healthy. Yes, people gave me advice when I was young to get an education, and exercise regularly. But I didn't listen and I'm paying a price for that now. Now, try telling the young people of today that.

Answer 6

I think I can still relate to the young quite well.I am more emotional,but I'm older than you and the thing that gets to me the most is not being able to read in bad lighting without glasses.Its only a small thing but so annoying.I had always taken good eyesight for granted before.Regrets,I wish I had spent more time on people that have since passed away.e.g.my mother in law,wished i had helped her more but I always seemed so busy but looking back I could have done more.

Answer 7

Life for me began at 40.

Not really too many regrets - no point in getting morose about mistakes after-all.

I have 2 children under 9, so they keep me fairly young at heart.

I don't think I have trouble relating to the young at all.

Just a bit more choosy about who I relate to in the first place, as I am less tolerant - esp. about lack of respect and poor manners.

But I don't think I'm a bad old bag!!

Answer 8

Im 38 and still feel about 18, I am more emotional, especially after having kids; everything seems more intense.i do have younger friends at work and feel on their level with most things then suddenly I think "My god, I could be their mother!" This is scarey! Being around younger people makes you remember the stages, but I do think you tend to forget until you see it in someone else.

Answer 9

I'm great with children - I scare the **** out of them! lol. No you have less patience as you age and teenagers always have more of everything than the last generation, except respect for their elders. That's why I like young people from other cultures. the children in China for example, where they are restricted to having one child. have no siblings and they seem to have more respect for adults. Teenagers, too seem to have more respect. Although, respect has to be earned. If parents don't earn the respect of their children - the children tend to be misbehaved little monsters and hooligan teenagers. But sometimes, they will respond to a good role model - even if they have bad parents.

Answer 10

I have no regrets about anything because it was all a learning experience. No I am less emotional, and I have become mellow and content. Sometimes I lose patience with young people and I have to remind myself that I was very much like them when I was their age.