Conceiving question...Why is it so hard for a good woman???

Question

I have been trying to get pregnant for 5 years. I have been stressed during these years and this may have something to do with it. But I'm married, have been almost drained by doctor's wanting to make money and not helping me, and I'm pretty much settled. I have a fairly good spiritual life. Why is it so hard for me to get pregnant but some youngster having sex with everybody with no way or means to raise a child are getting pregnant every second of the day. It's kind of hard to believe that conception is a gift from God.

Answer 1

I find the "Its God's will" and "Its not in God's plan" statements to be some of the most hurtful things you could say to a woman with infertility. Have you gotten these yet? I've been hearing them for 6 years. This implies that God picks and chooses who should and should not be parents. If this is the case, why are so many babies neglected, beaten, or murdered? Why are they born into abusive or drug-addicted homes? Why does God feel that those children deserve that future?

You could think about this until you go crazy, but it is all about biology. We all know about those women that get pregnant easily and then are horrible parents. We see them in the stores. We see them at home. They are our friends. But how many women are as outspoken about infertility? You can't see it. You can't tell that someone is infertile just by looking at them. You don't know unless someone tells you. And most people are embarassed about it.
Additionally, a lot of women with infertility never seek treatment. Its too expensive. So, they never have kids, but we don't hear about them because they are just existing, not doing anything news-worthy.
My point is.....there are a lot of infertile women out there, rich-poor, old-young, healthy-unhealthy.... Unfortunately, we only hear about the bad parents. There aren't any news headlines reading, "Poor couple has baby. Baby is thriving." And there aren't any headlines reading, "Successful local woman can't conceive". So, it only seems like the awful people become parents and good people, like us, remain childless.
Find a support group (like from Resolve) or seek therapy. It is very easy to become isolated, angry, and depressed with infertility. Don't ignore your marriage. Support each other and keep trying. And if it gets to be too much, reevaluate why you want a child and consider taking a break or adopting.

Answer 2

Hubby and I have also been trying for YEARS to get preggo. It seems that the world around you can have a baby at the drop of a hat, but people like me, wait till there life is settled, Job, Husband, House and then when you think it is a good time to try and have a family, guess what, it is not going to happen the good old fashion 'easy' way for you.

You hear things from your Friends, family and even strangers that are sometimes hurtful, but you have to know that sometimes, we go through difficulties like this, to make us stronger. It doesn't mean that you were not meant to have a baby, or that you are being punished by god. You just may have to go about getting pregnant, or 'crating your family' in another way.

I feel your pain. And I wish you well.

Answer 3

Conception is a gift from God. God is the one who decides who should have children, and who should not. It's the mother who give their children up for adoption, are the ones that aren't obeying God's will.

If a child is meant to be born, then it will happen. My guess is that your stress level really is too high to get pregnant. Make getting pregnant fun again. Go on a date, make love, have fun. If God wishes for you to have a child, you will.

As a mother who has given birth to 5 beautiful, gifted, highly advanced children - and now awaiting the birth of my twins...

All it ever took for me was a wink and a smile. Making love, not having sex to have a baby. Yes, in your terms I got "pregnant every second of the day" - I am a good mother, and my children are amazing. I have definitely been blessed with gifts from God.

Answer 4

To conceive you must have sex on a day that your eggs are being released.

After the 3rd day from the day that menses started put a thermometer into your mouth and check your body temperature every morning before you start turning in bed. The best time is at about 4 a.m. Maintain a chart. You will find that on one day the body temperature drops from 1/2 degree to one degree. This is the day that your eggs are being released. If you want to get pregnant this is the day that you must have sex. Tell your husband to ejaculate on his inward thrust so that the sperms will shoot deep inside.

After having sex you must stay in bed for about 30 mins with your knees bent up with a pillow under your buttocks so that the sperms will not pour out - to enable them to travel up.

Get your husband to save his sperms in the testacles for at least 3 days before sex to enable them to mature well to do their job.

Answer 5

No one knows what the future holds. My biggest fair is that the same thing will happen to me. What do I do? Do I not get involved with anyone so they would not have to go through the pain I know that's ahead? I guess we are supposed to believe that everthing happens for a reason. I guess that's great but when that's something is happening to you, you see how empty that statement really is... My guess is continue living and hoping and maybe what you wish will come through.

Answer 6

Have you had your partner checked for sperm count? Prostate Health? I realize 5 years is certainly a long time to wait to have a baby. Have you ask for fertility drugs, if your partner checks out?
You may need to bank on some sperm (get a donor).
Back to what I keep telling my kids, "Life is not fair, don't expect it to be." Even some women in the bible had barron wombs. It is descussed in several books of the bible.

Answer 7

Everything is a gift from God. Maybe He would like you to adopt...or become a foster parent? Not everyone is blessed with the ability to have a child, but we are all blessed with the ability to love children.

Answer 8

Try this site and relax tryingtoconceive.com I feel you though ,why keep going to a doctor that's not helping you ?! Get another doctor relax and try this site! Good luck sweetie and have a beautiful day!

Answer 9

you know i tried for 5 years to then when i finally gave up....god blessed me with a son...now my son is 2 and just found out i was 2 months pregnant...i wish u good luck...

Answer 10

its easier to get pregnant at a younger age..

i got pregnant while on birth control!

i guess maybe you arent meant to have a child..thats why its been so hard...