And I know she hates me too! She makes fun of me and FI when dads not around, and tells me "you just like your bitchy mother" My dad was around her when she said that! She is responsible for my mom and dad divorce. while mom and dad still married, they made love and mom caught them, so why should i like her?
2006-08-03 09:44:20 · 20 answers · asked by Newlywed 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he does interfere with mine, so what difference does it make
2006-08-03 09:52:06 · update #1
Print this article out and leave it somewhere for her or your dad to find.
2006-08-03 09:50:23 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are two issues here. First off, your dads new wife is not responsible for your parents divorce. Your dad made the choice to fool around with her, she didn't hold a gun to his head and force him to do it. So stop being mad at her for that.
The second thing is your dad is also at fault for allowing her to say such a thing to you. Talk to your dad in a calm manner and tell him how much it hurts when she says stuff like that. Explain to him that not only does it hurt that she says things like that about you but also that she says stuff like that about your mom. If you are going to be a happy family he needs to realize she can't be saying mean things about you or about your mom. If it keeps up then maybe you need to figure out if living with your mom is an option.
2006-08-03 09:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Request the court to live with your mom instead, If you are just at dad's for visitation and if you are 13 then you can say that you don' want to go anymore. I'm so sorry that you feel this way, but you have to be clear with your dad saying that she makes you feel uncomortable.
Tell him that you love your mom and that you would appretiate that she would be a dressed in a respectful manner while you are present. This is not an irrational request and he should understand.
Good luck
2006-08-03 10:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
I have step children to and the best thing you can do is sit down with your dad and let him know what is happening. Tell him you don't want to reck his relationship with her but that he is very important to you and if this is to continue that is could cause serious damage to the relationship that you two have together.
DO NOT get angry and resentful because then she will wiggle her way out of this and you will look like the bad guy. So stay calm and explain how you fell. If she is there let her talk and stay calm, because be live me people like this can only hide there true colours so long then it all becomes apparent. Be patient and talk to your dad.
2006-08-03 10:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by Monica F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom and dads divorce affects you..but it is between them. i can understand you not liking the way the new wife treats you especially when dad is not around. and i am concerned that your dad allowed her to make remarks to you about your mom..without intervening..right then. you must first get your dad..alone and let him know .the deal. this woman says mean things when you are not around...then you let her degrade my mom when you were around. maybe you do not love mom..but i do and it hurts me. you got one divorce and i am still here.. you could get another divorce..and i will still be your daughter.. so i think you should talk with your new wife.. and insist..that she treat me with more respect. IF he agrees to support you... great..if he does not... you are fighting a losing battle. this woman can only do what daddy allows. down the road..you and the new wife.are going to have to be civilized..otherwise someone is going to lose. daddy is not going to take the pressure of constant bickering. what she did to your mom.. was wrong..but you are going to have to put that in the back of your mind... if you want to maintain a relationship with dad. you should be there..when dad tells her... he wants you two, to atleast tolerate each other and that you are his daughter for life..and that discussion about mom when you are around is off limits. surely the old boy... should have no problems with that.
2006-08-03 10:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I feel for you, really I do. Try not to be around her if possible. Your Dad is not thinking straight at all. He needs to stand by you and let his new wife know that you mean the world to him. He WILL regret, believe me he will, if he doesn't open his eyes to all of this. What happened between your mom and dad is not your fault, so it is for them to deal with. Try not to get in the middle of it. It will only upset you and hurt you. I know your hurt, I understand. You don't have to like her. You are allowed to feel the way you want to feel. So the best thing to do is to see your dad when she is not around. Sounds like the new wife wants to make trouble between you and your dad. Don't let her, by not going there when she is there if possible. Just tell your dad that your sorry but you don't like her and you would rather see him without her. He has to understand that. He IS the adult, he needs to act like one when it comes to his kids. I'm truly sorry for you. Bless you.....
2006-08-03 11:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm If you lived in ILL I could help, id have to meet your dads wife.
Two things you can do-
1///Act like a complete child around them (if they treat you like one anyway) and always ask your dad to take you here, or you and your dad to go there. This will piss the hell off your dads wife. She is doing it to you, so fight fire with fire.
2/// Act cool, and be the kindest person to her. But start to mess with her life behind her back.
Put nair in her shampoo, that will make your dad disgusted, its more for lust then love I think with this one...your dad pbrly is going through mid-life crisis
2006-08-04 04:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to be rude or anything, but it sounds to me like shes not the only one that split your parents up, it sounds like your father had a part in it to, cuz it takes 2 to sleep with someone. but all together and out of respect for your dad, you dont have to like her, just when your dad is around show her respect, be the bigger person even if she does talk crap to you and say rude things, just look at her and say this the next time she makes a comment on how you act like your mom(tell her your more a adult and woman that she is cuz your not the one sitting there acting like a child and talkin ****) * this will probly piss her off but maybe straighten her up*
2006-08-03 09:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son has always known that I would never do anything to hurt him. I had always reassured him that his biological father would never put him in harms ways. Even when my co-parent decided to re-marry. My son mentioned that his biological father would do the same. Until, of course, his new wife started being rude, disrespectful, mean, negative to the point where my son no longer wanted a relationship with his stepmother. So when the step-sister started to hide my son's CDs and other property my son had his fill of frustration and confronted his father. My son said I do not want her living with us. His father's reply was "It's not your choice it's mine" and so my son said fine. He said if she was going to continue to live here I don't want to live here any more. So guess what, His father kicked her out. Sometimes they listen sometimes they don't. God bless you. Keep us up to date on what's going on. Let us know what you decided to do.
2006-08-03 10:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by mayan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a "stepmom" who didnt split my partners marriage up but still finds having a stepdaughter around who bhaves likes she been dragged up instead of brought up i would just like 2 say that shes the adult who should b setting u an example.i dont know how old u r but why dont u try and show her up by bhaving yourself u dont have 2 like her or think of her as a friend but u would win your dads respect and admiration and show her up aswell u will never loose his love but u might b making his life and yours harder than it needs 2 b good luck i dont think shes worth this much upset
2006-08-03 09:59:50 · answer #10 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitly print out the Dr. Phil article and leave it for your Dad to read
2006-08-03 10:29:25 · answer #11 · answered by mrs_care_graham 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋