ok, this is about sex, so adult ppl only...?

Question

my fiance is great. but...i had my period for like, 3 months straight, nonstop, so he got used to like, him getting taken care of and not me. i didnt care then. but now, its starting to get irritating. im still bleeding, i dont want him to do anything gross, but what is fair to ask him to do. i dont wanna nag or be bitchy. how do i go about asking him without being like, annoying or begging?

ok ok ok. yes, i saw a doctor. my uterus is shaped differently and the lining on one side is thicker, im getting a test done in 2 weeks to fix it. no, i dont want him to give me oral or anything, i just dont know what else to ask him to do that i will like, i dont want to stop taking care of him, but i want something too. what im asking is, what are some other activities to plz a girl? all my old bf's were crappy, so i really dont know. lol, but other parts of my body, what are some things i could ask him to do, and how do i go about asking him w/out sounding pushy??

Answer 1

Couple of questions to help you figure out something that works for both of you (and thanks for the update on seeing a doctor, that's your first priority!)

First -- are you in any discomfort? And that means internally (cramping while you're bleeding) or externally (from irritation due to constant tampon use)? If you're in pain, it's hard to get satisfied; if you're irritated on the opening, you may have to get more... creative.

If you're not in pain, can you achieve satisfaction, either by yourself or with his help? Even if the tampons have caused you to be irritated, you should be able to get enough external stimulation to be satisfied. Try that -- the next time the two of you are together for sex, have him try playing with you. Direct him, gently, if you need to -- I love it when my wife tells me where it's most exciting for me to touch, caress or kiss her.

And you say you don't want him to do anything gross -- but how does he feel about you when you're bleeding constantly? I have pleasured my wife orally when she was too irritated from constant tampon use for normal intercourse; as long as the tampon stays in, there's no blood, just a little blue string that gets stuck in my beard. :-) I've been told that, sometimes, having an orgasm relieves menstrual cramps. Or at least it takes your mind off them...

Lastly -- my wife NEVER comes across as annoying when she has specific sexual requests. It turns me on immensely when she tells me what she wants, and I LOVE playing with, kissing, nibbling, or doing whatever she wants, TO whatever she wants. Partly because I LOVE it when she does that for me... but partly because it's what I call "first-person porn."

And the way she manages not to come off as annoying is that she gives me THAT smile (you must have one of your own) and hints that she's feeling like she wants something special. (She usually says this when she's fondling me, so I'm clearly signed up. :-) From there it becomes something that starts out playful and gentle and ends up with her clenching her entire body and quivering in delight some forty minutes later.

...One thing I like (and I'm not sure whether she does this because she's genuinely insecure about it after all these years, or whether she does it to turn me on more) -- my wife loves for me to play with her breasts while we're building up to however she wants me to finish her. Now, I have ALWAYS been fixated on her breasts, but she still asks me, in a voice that really seems serious, whether I enjoy it when she asks me to play with or kiss them. (I invariably respond by rubbing something very hard against her thigh.)

Now. In extreme cases, you may need to mechanize. Sometimes when there's discomfort, it's possible for a woman to achieve satisfaction using a vibrator. Why? Because the sensations are so much more intense that you can achieve satisfaction before the discomfort shuts you down. You can do one of two things, depending on how mature your boyfriend is:

If he's really mature and genuinely wants to make you happy, let him "drive" the vibrator, with you "navigating" -- that is, let him hold it, play with you, and be the one bringing you to climax, while you tell him how good it is and give guidance (like "a little to the left," "more inside," "not so much inside," "that's it don't stop..." -- you get the idea).

The problem with that is that if he's not too mature (and in particular if he's insecure sexually in any way), he may think that the vibrator is going to replace him, that you eventually won't need him, and this can make him go all pouty and sit in the corner. (Why, no I certainly have NEVER done that... not since the early Eighties, anyway.) It takes a man who's very sure of himself and who REALLY loves the woman he's with and wants the best for her. And in those circumstances it's an INCREDIBLE turn-on for both of you. (Something else: we used to have one of those back-of-the-hand massaging vibrators, the kind that therapeutic masseurs use for breaking loose knots in the back and the calves and the like. If you get one of those and put it on his hands, he can use his fingers on you to get you satisfied -- it's less like the sex toy is replacing him and more like it's something he's doing to you. And the first time we ever used one of those was easily the fastest and most breathless orgasm my wife had ever experienced. It was INCREDIBLE -- we barely made it home from the store, I plugged it in next to the dining room table to see if it worked, and in MINUTES she had a convulsive climax while standing up leaning against my shoulder.)

If he is nervous or reluctant to take you all the way there, and if you're still up to at least some intercourse, then you can have him use the vibrator on you (while you're doing something to him, perhaps?) till you're a few seconds from the edge, then either have him jump you, or have him lie on his back while you jump HIM. If you're on top, you will have more control over where to rub (and where not to, if you've got discomfort).

If you don't have a vibrator, there are lots of different kinds and shapes, designed for different parts of your body; take a look at a sex toy site (I'm fond of http://www.xandria.com) and see what turns you on. Look it over together and pick something he wants to use on you.

And finally... if you are just too sore, crampy, bloody, or otherwise too "icky" to achieve sexual satisfaction in ANY way... Ask him to give you a backrub. Do this while you're both naked; you lie on your stomach and have him sit across your hips like he's riding a horse. Have him lean forward so his hands are on your shoulder-blades and have him massage you, rocking back and forth as his hands loosen the tight muscles along your spine, down your shoulders, in the small of your back and across your waist. HE WILL ENJOY THIS. And so will you. In fact, I suspect that if he starts by rubbing out the stiffness in your back, you'll end up rubbing out the stiffness in his front...

So to summarize:

1 - Be mindful of your own discomfort and work around it. You CAN be satisfied even when you're unwell, but you have to take care of your well-being first.

2 - Approach your boyfriend in a spirit of sexual exploration and novelty, and view this as a new chapter in your relationship, NOT as compensation or consolation.

3 - As far as possible, be the one in charge of movement, penetration, and stimulation, so that you can stop short of increasing your discomfort.

In short, sexual satisfaction is a genuine need for everyone, and in a good relationship, it's extremely enjoyable to GIVE satisfaction to the one you love. And from a guy's standpoint, if nothing else, he's getting to play with a naked woman for half an hour or so, and that's something I for one NEVER get tired of.

All the best!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

First you need to see a doc cuz that is just crazy... 3 months straight! After that just be straight up. It's like Christmas, it's not about getting, you gotta give too. If that dont work just holla at me girl!

Answer 4

first go to the doctor n find out what the problem is, n second start doin it in the shower n all bc ur period stops in water

Answer 5

There has to be something a doctor can do this does not sound normal, and I would not have sex until you know your okay.

Answer 6

FIRST OFF IF UR BEEN BLEEDING THAT LONG U NEED TO GO GET TESTED FOR P.O.S AND SECOND WOULD U REALLY WANT UR MAN TO GO DOWN ON UR WHILE UR BLEEDING THAT NASTY HELL I DON'T KNOW ,MANY MEN THAT WOULD DO IT SO IF UR FEELING LEFT OUT TELL HIM UNTIL U GET UR SITUATION HANDLE NO ONE WILL BE GETTING PLEASURED

Answer 7

Just have sex. He won't have sex while your on? Or just don't give him head. Tell him if I ain't getting any neither are you! And mean it

Answer 8

GO SEE A DOCTOR. THIS IS NOT A QUESTION FOR ADULT PEOPLE, THIS IS A QUESTION FOR A DOCTOR!!!!!!

Answer 9

3 mos!? have you seen a doctor, that's not right! good luck, though...