Sometimes he's nice, sometimes's he can be so damn mean. He says he tired, I'm tired too, he says he's stressed , me too, I can't take much more. I love him, and I know he loves me, He is driving me nuts. Yes, I have tried talking to him, it doesn't work.
Anyone who can give me advise, I would apprieciate it.
2006-08-03 07:52:51 · 13 answers · asked by ~ Just Me ~ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was being dramatic with the whole drinking thing, Good Lord people...
2006-08-03 08:22:28 · update #1
You need a vacaction, like a retreat. Take some vacation time and go some where suductive and peaceful to both of your needs. Then, if and when you do, don't talk about personal or outside issues.
2006-08-03 07:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, no one "causes' you to drink. If you pick up that glass, it's gonna be your hand doing it.
But before you get there, you two need some serious communication. Yes, yes, you have tried talking to him, but you say it is not working. You don't have a lot of choices other than working it out. Work it out or leave. There's not a lot in-between.
Well, ok, the only thing that is in-between is that you must stop taking behavior from him that you don't want. You must not accept his being mean to you. You haven't given any specifics so we can't guide you, but in most cases we are treated the way we teach people to treat us. Meaning that we tolerate treatment we don't like and by doing so we encourage its continuing.
So stop. Don't allow him to treat you mean - walk away. If you are both tired and he can give a flying rats *** that you are tired, then you take care of yourself. Because that is the bottom line, you have to stop looking to him to be the adult in the relationship and to carry his load. If you can't talk to him, then you have to rely on yourself and yourself alone - and you have to take care of yourself to do that.
2006-08-03 15:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried talking several times and he doesn't listen I can only suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes you need a third party's opinion and who better than an experienced marriage expert. If that doesn't work then you have a decision to make, this is who he is and it will not change. Do you love him enough to put up with it and look at his good points? If not then you have to face some tough choices and be prepared to be own your own. Whatever the outcomes I hope its what's best for you.
2006-08-03 15:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by honey27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need an unbiased person to listen to your marital problem like a marriage counselor depending on how bad and how often these problems occur. I know how it can be. I have a husband who is often irritable, stressed out, tired from work and just shuts me out to play video games. Meanwhile I have the stress of raising five kids and taking care of our bills and running the household. Yet he sees that he has it worse than me. I totally get where you are coming from. You need someone who can maybe show him some perspective because men tend to not listen to you....all they hear is blah, blah, blah and see it as a lecture....good luck....
2006-08-03 20:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should decide what it's worth. Do you love him enough to stick by him? Do you have children, etc. although dont' stay together just for the kids because it will make them miserable. If you don't think it's worth the treatment he is giving you and if you aren't happy I would either try counseling or get a divorce. It's not worth being unhappy,.
2006-08-03 15:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attitude determines Altitude!
Go about doing your own thing. Show him that you are happy and if necessary, avoid making conversation with him. Eventually he'll see that your side of the fence is pretty darn green. He'll want to be included in on what you do. Make sure the duties around the house are equally distributed and you're both pulling your own weight.
Hang in there!
2006-08-03 15:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pass the bottle this way when you get done....j/k...if you can't talk, then there's not much else you can do....you have to make yourself happy...but if things haven't always been that way, then maybe you are just in a rut....and if talking hasn't worked so far, then maybe you just haven't found a way of communicating that he will/can respond to. It's not as simple as just opening your mouth and saying the words. But....if things have always been this way, and you are not happy....move on.
2006-08-03 15:00:16 · answer #7 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dam it. you said the same shitz that goes on at my house. im sooo dam sick of hearing how dam tired he is. its not like a want a million dollars. i just want sex. i mean dam if i get out and have an affair i'll be the bad motherf*cker. when in all honesty i told him what i need. its not fair. i dont wanna cheat so im doomed to a life of no sex!!!?? sorry i got ill all over again.
2006-08-03 15:29:08 · answer #8 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on a trip and leave your husband behind! Take some time for yourself, and relax.
Then go to consoling so you can express all of this to a non bias party.
2006-08-03 15:00:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage councilling with a professional will help to iron out kinks in a relationship if both parties are willing. Hope things work out!!
2006-08-03 15:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by mrs_care_graham 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋