I am in iraq right now and my wife....?

Question

has never sent me a letter and only sends me a small box of stuff about every 3 months. I tell her things that i need and dont get them. I ens up spending 300 a month on things that i need and snacks and stuff, and she has questioned why i spend so much money, yet she is spending about 1800 each month just on her and my son. She rarely even emails me pictures of my son, and he isnt even a year and a half yet, so he is growing really fast. I ask her over and over to do little things for me like sending pictures and more packages with stuff i need, but she just doesnt do it. Is she a bad wife? what is your opinion?

Answer 1

Sounds like you need to start e-mailing me..

Answer 2

You have a small child. Infants are extremely time consuming and quite expensive. Don't put a burden on your wife demanding things that you can easily get there in the PX. They are the same price and tax/shippment free. Besides, most things will get ruined on their way there because of the extreme heat in the dessert...I mean, hello????? Besides, you have a 24 chow hall there...why do you need snacks if you have all that free foood?

You are being demanding and controlling and putting imposible expectations on your wife. You are quite a whinner.
Ask yourself what have you done/told your wife and mother and your children to make her feel special? Being needy doesn't count.
Remember that you are the one that is not there and you are the one that changed, not her,. She is still the same and at home taking care of an infant. Is natural that you feel frustrated being there and not being able to be here with your wife and baby, but you have to get over it and concentrate in coming home safe.

Does she have a digital camera? If so then you are right about the pictures. If she doesn;t then you have no reason to complain. If she has a 35m camera then is more difficult as you have to wait until the roll is done, then take it to get it developed, then wait for the prints then scanned them, crop them, zippen them, download them etc. Keep in mind that she has to do this while changing diapers and feeding an 18 month old baby.

Good luck

Answer 3

I don't know about a bad wife. BUt my husband is in iraq, and I write him a letter every night, plus emails, and have never missed a phone call. I send a huge box at least once a month, and little ones if he need smore stuff, and I try not to spend any of the money he is making as I work and can use my own. SHe may be busy with yoru child, and if she has never been a mom before having difficulty adjsuting. I know it's tough, but try talking to her some more. Mayeb eventually she will get the hint.

Answer 4

There is so many different reasons that she could be doing this. Since you are in Iraq I think that you should think to the positive side. Maybe she is just really busy with work and taking care of the baby.

Ask your family to send you some stuff or send some friends a list of items that you could use and see if they could help you. I know that family and friends are more then willing to help someone that is in Iraq fighting for us.

I don't think your wife is a bad person, not without knowing what is really going on at home. You need to send her a nice long letter asking her what is going on and tell her that she can be honest with you no matter what. Tell her that you understand it is hard for her to have to deal with you being in Iraq and just want to make sure she is ok. Then ask why she hasn't sent the stuff that you asked for...maybe she just forgot.

Thank you for being in Iraq for us! What part of the military are you in?

Answer 5

Buddy, you're doing a great job in Iraq for us and we appreciate it more than you can realize!!

Here's the deal. You are adapting to the situation in Iraq, thanks in a big way to the training you're received, the services provided there by Uncle Sam and the camaraderie with your guys there. Your wife is probably not a military brat, probably is new to the military life and is most definitely working hard as a new Mom.

So, you can understand where she's coming from. Your job is to help her succeed while you're away. Tell her you know how hard this is on her (your being away), how much you appreciate her dedication to the family, how much you love her, and that when you receive those little packages from her; well you just melt with the love she's sending you....and it makes all the difference in the world.

Say to yourself; she's the best woman in the world, the best wife, and the best mother and I'm a lucky guy to have her. After all, I'll bet you're trying to be the best man in the world, the best husband and the best dad aren't you?

Today you're being challenged to "lead" your family even though you're very far away. Be kind, understanding, and courageous; after all, isn't that the kind of man you want to be?

Cheers

Answer 6

I'm really really sorry abou t the whole situation. Your wife isn't a bad person but I think she is tired with the whole situation. She is left behind with a baby and she has to play a double role - being a mother and a father for your son. Maybe she is so disappointed that she has started a new life without you being in her plans. THE SITUATION IS WORST THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!!! You are LOSING your wife!!!!! So, you must do something for it!!!! In first hand, send her a letter and explain her how you miss her and your son, EXPRESS your fears about your relationship and DO EVERYTHING IT TAKES TO GO BACK HOME!!!! I know it's difficult, BUT DON'T LET YOUR HAPPINESS TO GET AWAY JUST LIKE THAT!!!!

Answer 7

Dude I was in the Marines for 4 years and I don't have to tell you what you're already thinking................. She's out living life without you and you are the last thing on her mind obviously. You and I both know she is probably spending all of her time with another man and spending YOUR money on him. Your best bet would be to have someone follow or watch her to see what she is up to. Don't be naive !!! If she really cared she would do everything you mentioned and then some. You need to cut her off from the funds because you are getting screwed !

Answer 8

Sounds like you're not getting the support you expect from a loving wife, specially with you being under such harsh conditions. I would say ask your mom or friends who you do get support from to send you the stuff you need and maybe by her getting the cold shoulder she'll understand that you're not happy with the way she treats you. If she doesn't then it sounds like she's not taking this marriage seriously and you'll be faced with some serious decisions when you come home. But cross that bridge when you get to it. Take it one day at a time. You have enough on your plate. Stay Safe.

Answer 9

In my opinion she is not being a good wife. I would if I had someone overseas always support them and try to make him feel more wanted. That's the person I am. I would make sure you had everything you needed. And would send you pix and all. I mean how hard can it be to take pix. Load and send. Not hard at all. If she can spend all this money on herself then she spend some on you too. As someone has said maybe she found someone new. But that is harsh.

Answer 10

My ex husband is in the Army. We got divorced because I cheated when he went overseas. I deeply regret doing it. It broke our marriage apart. We have 3 beautiful kids together. I don't know if she is cheating, but it sounds probable. Maybe she is feeling lonely (which is no excuse). Part of my problem when my husband was away is that yes it was lonely and I did have some resentment for him not being there. I think it can be tough for a relationship to survive it. I have seen so many relationships in the military fail because of spouses cheating while one is away. Just talk to your wife and express your concerns. If she did cheat or is cheating maybe you both can get past it. My problem was that my husband couldn't seem to get past what I had did to him. He could never look at me the same. It really makes me sad still. I do think alot about the what could have been's. I do live everyday with many regrets. Take care of yourself. Sorry that this is happening to you right now.

Answer 11

First thank your for fighting for our country. Second she may have alot on her plate but thats no reason for her not to send you the things that you need. Not only that but if she is not working then she has time to put together packages. I know taking care of a baby is alot of work but not so much so that she can't take care of getting you things. I wouldn't go so far as to say she is cheating on you and spending money on someone else but unfortunately it is a possibility. She may go out alot to keep her mind off of whats going on over there. So that may be where a lot of money is going. But tell her how you feel and ask her why she is ignoring your requests. Good luck. Again thank you and all of our US Troops and Allies for fighting our battles.