I look at his old online journals and torture myself by thinking about how great life must have been with them, he was going through his second divorce when we started talking, and his first 8 yrs ago, he married his 2nd wife after knowing her only 4 months and there are journal entries while me and him were talking, about how much he loves her, when he told me it had been over for a long time..also at the end of his marriage he went to visit a "friend" and they had sex, he then told her he loved her...(this is still a month before we even spoke) Still it hurts me and I dont know why.....What can I do...Is this normal and can I get over it.
I have never been married and feel we wont have a dream wedding because he's done it twice already.. :-(
2006-08-03 07:33:17 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband had been married twice before but after meeting his two exes I realized he just didn't have the right skills in picking good women. (Thank goodness I came along...lol). We have been happily together for 5 years and married for 2.
I feel like you might be settling for this guy because he is who you are with now. If you want someone who has not been married before and want the big wedding end this relationship and go find what would really make you happy. My philosophy is live your life with no regrets.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 07:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't normal to read someone's journals... Some things are not meant to be shared with the significant other - or anyone else, for that matter. If a person allows others to read his deeply personal musings - he has serious problems. If you're seeking out these journals and getting into them without his knowledge or permission - YOU have serious problems. Until these problems are addressed, a healthy relationship simply won't be possible. It's not about his having been married...The issues run much deeper than that if you have access to each others most private thoughts. Some things are meant to STAY private - if for no other reason than out of respect for the other party. EVERYONE has their past... We all have some regrets or attachments or things we would rather forget. Unless this stuff interferes with the present, it's best kept buried.
2006-08-03 07:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you have never been married it is hard for you to understand. Those feelings do not just go away. Just be there for him listen to him, do not criticize him. You need to give the guy time, quit pushing or you will lose him. And if the time comes for the wedding, does it really matter how and where? If you love each other isn't the important thing the marriage after. You don't need to put on a big show for everybody
2006-08-03 07:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing stop reading the journals, and remember that is his past and you are his future. But your future won't have much of a prayer if your going to be thinking this way. Jealousy is a bad demon and I am one that has problems with it. It can ruin a relationship, if you need to go see a counselor about it, then I suggest that's what you do. Because it all comes from being insecure and how we think of ourselves. Best wishes for you.ak
2006-08-03 07:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may also think this manner on account that you had kids with him. it kind of feels that even if the connection fails ladies nonetheless care approximately the person. marriages are meant to final, we're stressed out to like anyone without end, no longer only for now. even harder for you, you think as though the situation used to be loss of communique, you didn't say there used to be abuse or else. you'll forgive this, and rightfully, this can be a very ordinary situation as time actions on and the novelty wears off. my recommendation to you is to preserve your eyes vast open, if he's simply the kind of guy who refuses to position within the paintings that a courting demands to outlive you then cant drive it, and handiest you are going to undergo. not ever stick with a individual on account that you think sorry for them, allow them to cross so they may be able to discover actual happiness, they need to have the truly factor, and mendacity to him is unsuitable in such a lot of methods. you additionally need to be joyful,suppose very cautiously approximately this boyfriend. are you feeling that you simply dont love him on account that you're maintaining out to your ex? take a major appear at this and check out to determine the causes, the boyfriend is also the correct individual for you however your judgment is clouded on account that of your common intuition to make your marriage paintings.
2016-08-28 13:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he was a widower, 2 previous marriages is proof that he is not marriage material. Run..Run for the hills!!!!!
Your jealousy is a waste of time. You need to cut him loose and find a man who doesnt have the issues he MUST have.
2006-08-03 12:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, this guy is nothing but trouble. He's divorced twice and has lied to you. He is just bad news. If you ever do get to marriage, your sure to end in divorce.
2006-08-03 07:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh well. It's not gonna work, you're too insecure girl. Find someone that doesn't have such a fuc*ed up track record in marriages. Your relationship will only end in BS............trust me. Been there, done that. ;)
2006-08-03 07:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No trust how can it work. 3 strikes and you're out
2006-08-03 07:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by EL Big Ed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋