Do you think it's just as rude to tell someone they're skinny as it is to tell someone they're fat?

Question

I have lost about 30 lbs. since my husband died three years ago, and I just cannot gain any back. I know it's because I'm much more active now, as I have to do all the things he used to do. I'm 5'7" and weigh 135, but I have a very overweight friend who keeps telling me I'm 'skinny.' I feel like telling her she's fat, but so far I've restrained myself.

Answer 1

I'm very sorry for your loss, first of all.

As to your question, It is possible your overweight friend feels threatened by your weight loss, but even so, I would also find those remarks rude. Next time she makes a "skinny" comment, you should confront her, calmly and politely, but directly, and tell her that such comments make you uncomfortable--point out that you do not nag her about her weight, and that you'd appreciate it if she could refrain from commenting on yours.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Maybe she is jealous of your weight loss and saying something like that will just hurt her feelings. It is interesting though isn't it that it is ok and even good to say that someone is skinny but to say that someone is fat would be mean. Maybe someday the opposite will be true. Anyway, the best thing to do would be to tell her that you don't need to hear that from her all the time...you know that you have lost a lot of weight and that it bothers you when she is constantly commenting on your appearance. Good luck to you...sorry for the loss of your husband too. Have a good day!!!

Answer 3

I think it can go either way. Some people like it when people tell them they're skinny, but some don't. I think the main difference is that most people do not think it's a compliment to be called fat, but some people think it's a compliment to call someone or be called skinny. It also depends on how it's said--tone, etc. I would talk to your friend and tell her this is bothering you and that you feel as if she is not considering your feelings on the subject. She might be trying to compliment you (perhaps she wishes she could lose weight), and would stop if you told her it bothered you.

Answer 4

First of all, when overweight people tell you this, it's because they are jealous!!! This woman would always tell me how I was too little (this went on for a couple years) and finally she came out and told me she was jealous! I am 5'3 and 110, so I get this ALL the time. I do not look sick or anorexic, I'm just little. But yes, I do feel it is extremely rude and none of their business. They don't realize how hard it is for some people to gain weight.

Answer 5

Yes, some people are not trying to be skinny, they just have a very hard time keeping weight on, or gaining weight. I had a few friends in high school who looked almost anorexic but they ate constantly, and always got upset when someone would comment on how skinny they were.

Answer 6

My mom is under weight and she is very self concious about people telling her she needs to gain weight. She knows it doesn't look healthy, but is under alot of stress.
I think some people may be just as sensitive as when the rolls are reversed. Sounds like your friend may be a bit envious of you!

I don't think it is ok to comment on anyone's body. Unless it is a compliment or they ask for an opinion. Or possibly if someone is concerned for anothers well being.

Tell your friend you are happy with your new size and ask her not to keep commenting on it.

Answer 7

sounds like your friend may be a little envious of you since she is overweight . . it is rude to say things like that unless you know the two of you are joking around . . people who have their own flaws will point out what they consider everyone else's flaws so they don't have to face their own . . as long as you are healthy, don't worry about what anyone says . . if she says it to you again, tell her you don't appreciate when she says it and ask her how she would feel if you pointed out the fact that she were fat all the time

Answer 8

That is rude of her. Don't tell her she is fat, and keep restraining yourself. If you tell her that, you are just lowering yourself to her level. Take her aside and tell her that it is hurting your feelings, and you wish she would stop. If she dosen't stop, maybe stop hanging around her as much, for she seems to not be a very good friend for being inconsiderate and not very understanding.

Good luck :)

Answer 9

Maybe shes telling you that in a good way. People underestimate the use of the word skinny. I think it would be rude to tell her she is fat.

Answer 10

Whether you want to view either as a compliment- you should disregard both. As long are you comfortable in your own skin and with your weight who cares- what anyone says. Disregard any comments. Whenever you take someone's comments personally- you become a slave to them. One day they will say you are skinny and the next day fat. You are not trying to please anyone- any unwanted comments as well as opions are equally rude- only if you take them personally.