I am straight so in a straight relationship you know how the sex is going to go, man usually bones woman. In a gay sexual relationship, you have sex for the first time how do you figure out who's the top and who's the bottom? Do you discuss it beforehand and if so what if you are drunk and don't think to discuss it.
2006-08-03 07:18:42 · 15 answers · asked by marianlaughs 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Gay men gradually come to discover there preferences after being up at bat a few times. A seasoned gay man will know in advance if they are versatile (they like both topping and bottoming) or if they are a top, if they are a bottom, if they just like oral, or j/o or what ever. Usually a discussion will happen beforehand or during establishing what the people like.
2006-08-03 07:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm versatile and can go either way but I prefer being a bottom. Normally I don't have sex outside of a relationship so when I'm with someone or maybe looking to be with someone we talk about it before hand. Now the few times (when I was younger) that I had one night stands I made it clear when I wanted to be the top or be the bottom. Like one of the answers above says it is true most older (seasoned) men can tell whether you are top, bottom, or versatile.
2006-08-05 20:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by locojt1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically ones preference aer discussed before hand. If it isn't discussed before hand it is discussed in the bed. i have found most gay men will go both ways top or bottom to some degree. This helps some, but there is more to sex then just intercourse and two people can have fun without it.
2006-08-03 07:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You discuss it. Not necessarily "beforehand" as such, but at very least, there's usually DIRECTLY beforehand a "what do you like to do?". Having done the drunk thing once (and never again, may I add), that STILL happens, even when you're drunk. This kinda goes for anyone: If you're mature enough to be doing any given activity, you should be mature enough to discuss it openly and honestly.
2006-08-03 07:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell guys straight up I am not into anal either giving or recieving. If that is what they are into then that usually ends it. LOL A person usually knows before the first date is over weather the guys he is with is a top or a bottom. With me they know in the first 5 minutes that I am not either one.
2006-08-03 07:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the many beauties of gay sex over straight sex. You just admitted that straight sex is pretty cookie cutter. Gay sex has more (and more interesting) possibilities. I am so damn glad I'm gay.
To answer your question, it takes about 5 seconds to sniff out who is the top and who is the bottom, just like when two wolves approach each other and circle, they establish who is alpha wolf in just a few seconds. It is pure instinct.
2006-08-03 07:25:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're gonna have sex with someone for the first time with someone you've just met, hopefully you've been talking with each other for more than 5 minutes. If you're both gay I can almost guarantee you the topic has already come up before you even unzip your fly. If it hasn't, then after you get undressed one guy might say, "you want me to f**k you?" or he might say, "do you want to f**k me?" It's rarely like the tent scene in "Broke Back Mountain" (though I love that movie). Personally, my partner and I do not have anal sex with anyone but with each other. We have oral sex with other guys once in awhile and we let other guys know all this right up front.
2006-08-03 08:01:14 · answer #7 · answered by Jimmy Blonde Tips 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suprise guys all the time (well not anymore since I am married) they assume because of the way I dress, talk , etc. that I am the bottom........if not talked about before hand it comes out easily in foreplay like when I play so much attention to the 'bum' and keep turing them over! :-O
In any relationship I have been in I am the top and most people assume I am the bottom!
2006-08-03 07:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell you the truth... the first time i had sex i didnt know what i was but neither did he! we kinda went by feel and then i bottomed...and for that relationship! but later in other relationships in other relationships it was just natural for me to top!! it was all how i felt with the other guy!
2006-08-03 07:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by kaikai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to discuss it...the top / bottom issue may never come up during sex....you just try to please yourselves and each other....whatever....Do you discuss with men what position you are going to do it in before you go home with them?...same thing!
2006-08-03 07:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋