My wife and I had problems. Honestly, I made the changes on my behalf but my wife fails to make consistant changes. I tried to talk but she had nothing to say.
A couple days ago I told her we shouldn't be together. Now she's being nicer and said she wants to talk.
I am not confident she can make the real change I want: reciprocate the nice things I do for her.
When we go out to talk about our marriage how should I handle it?
2006-08-03 07:03:17 · 17 answers · asked by Sexual Chocolate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE WORK IT OUT. SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO WORK IT OUT WITH YOU NOW THAT SHE SEES JUST HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE. GO OUT TO DINNER OR SOMETHING AND TALK ABOUT IT. OR GO TO A PARK YOU KNOW SOMEWHERE BESIDES HOME. LET HER LET IT ALL OUT SO YOU CAN SEE WHERE HER HEAD IS AT- THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO. BUT IF YOU LOVE HER THAT MUCH TRY ONE MORE TIME TO WORK IT OUT. IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT- I'LL GO WITH YOU MYSELF TO TAKE OUT YOUR SH$T-DEAL?!? LET ME KNOW HOW IT WENT
2006-08-03 07:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by GrownNSexy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is one thing every man and woman should know i think, when you ask that one change something because it hurts you or other or ya just dont like it, you cant expect one to just do a 180 and change right away, give it sometime, and see if that person is at least trying, i think if your wife is at least trying most of the time, then thats good, a little more time and it might be 100 percent....props to you though for doing a turn around, usually us women have this problem with our men. I think though that your not seeing as much trying as you like, express that to her, and see if anymore changing goes on, if not...there is marriage counseling, or the door....
2006-08-03 07:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to read Dr. Lauras book, The proper care and feeding of husbands. If you have truly changed, maybe she will start changing, too. If the problems were too big, before this talk, maybe she just can't believe the change is permanent.
Anyway, be positive, and expect the best, after all, she is the wife you chose for some reason.
2006-08-03 07:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by avll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the problem, when people talk they only have one thing in mind, me, myself and I. You both have to leave that attitude at home and instead of "I" talk about "US". What will make "US" happy in this relationship. Marriage is about Commitment, Compromise and Co-existence.
You both have to be open to listening and be non-judgmental (which at times is difficult) but you have to try. Let each other talk and don't cut in between.
Do not take a list of things with you that you have changed, or start counting them on your fingers, or ask tell her I have done all of this, what have you done for me lately :o). Hope things work out for you
2006-08-03 07:20:26 · answer #4 · answered by spidermaniii_06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be calm, the one way to mess up a conversation is to be out of control. Dont let feelings in. Talk about whats going on at the moment in your lives. Dont mention anythign from the pass that might make your conversation take a wrong turn.
Hope everything goes well!
2006-08-03 07:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by thedumbone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would be able to choose help on different issues yet on ths you're in simple terms like countless the different adult males that i comprehend. My husband and that i may be interior the direction of a communique and that i glance over and he's surely zoned out. attempt conversing to her whilst all of the youngsters are in mattress and no person is around to interupt and then turn off the television. I actual have have been given to the ingredient if their is something i choose my husband to comprehend or do I write a word as a results of fact i comprehend he will examine yet no longer hear.
2016-09-28 21:07:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she realizes you are serious about ending the relationship if she doesn't.......she will! It doesn't happen overnight. And that is were patience comes in......she has to want to and she will be able to do it.
Listen. Share. and have patience with her.
A fault is a weakness...and weaknesses can be strengthened.
A little poem that comes to mind...
I didn't marry you because you were perfect.
I married you because I loved you.
I married you because you gave me a promise.
That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine.
Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.
The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.
2006-08-03 07:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
handle it like a man buddy, tell her this is her last freakin chance to be nicer. honestly whats up with you people getting married and then trying to change each other? if you dont like how your wife is and think she should change she shouldnt be your wife.
2006-08-03 07:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
women are like a bird in a nest ,want to care for it tell the last weapon u should listen to her and change come by 2 hands and not only 1.
2006-08-03 07:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by Tota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you are pretty confident that she'll makes the changes for you for the first two weeks after this discussion but that you have no faith that she'll do it for very much longer than that
and hey, quit doing nice things for her
2006-08-03 07:11:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋