how do you change from being a "pushover" to someone who can standup for themselves?

Answer 1

that is hard, especially if you are young and a nice person. first of all you need to maintain your self respect. which may involve your identity and why you are so nice, well liked and easy to push around. these you don't want to change. you don't need to be harsh or tough.
if it's a personel put down call them on it to their face and say "what do you mean by that?" do it in front of a witness. then take them to HR. if it's in your family say,"is that really what you think of me? thanks a lot!" and walk off, they will have to apologize to you or you don't have to talk to them again unless they do;-) (you will be smiling and in the power position as you walk off)
another thing I have learned is that it is easier if you have plans or are busy....so you can make up good excuses and just flatly say, sorry, can't go, can't do that, have plans. if they ask simply say,
"sorry, I'd rather not say". if they start prying say it's personel and just leave it at that. you don't have to go into any elaborate lye, just don't be available to stay over, do favors you don't want to do, just say you've got plans right after work or school and that you have a few places to stop before you go. no big deal, just do it. once you do this a few times they will stop bugging you and gradually you will get the hang if it. (though it took me about 20 years to finally figure it out!!!! you're going to figure it out before I did I bet;-)
Good Luck and Keep Smiling, you have a right to be your own person with your own style. you have places to go and things to do, even if you just want to go be alone and take a walk or read a book. don't feel guilty, feel free of the burdon and conflict. and if you have to, take it to the boss or police. if it gets too serious. sometime it actually can be harrasment. in general, avoid jerkish people, they usually show their colors pretty soon....and if you can't avoid them and they keep on doing it talk to a superior or the superiors superior! or else move on. life is too short to deal with that junk....but a little fighting back sometimes is good for you, especially when you are right!

Answer 2

You have to build up your self esteem and self respect. If you've been a pushover, don't be afraid to tell people "no" most of all always be "direct" so it sounds like you really mean it. Maintain eye contact when you talk to people as well. Be confident in your walk and posture. Stand firm on any decisions that you make and don't budge. Then people will get the idea and not assume you're a pushover.

Answer 3

I had that problem.. and well to be honest. i'm still not through it... but basically you have to remind youself all the time of the person you don't want to be... apply it kinda the same way as the golden rule, but remeber that ruels ahve exceptions... and kind of set a guid in your head of some circum stances where its ok to be a pushover... and for the rest of the times.. trya few methods, like talking to someone you knwo and trust wiht more power to get your point across.. or, ignore circumstances so that you don't end up doing them, or if/when you feel comfortable.. just voice your opinion more keeping in mind that even if noone agrees wiht you. it'll ikly be forgotten ina day or two anyway, so why worry and jsut do it......... thats the best i can describe what i've done.. and like i said i'm still trying to change myself... and its been a long process but i'm already seeing some VERY positive effects of it!! best of luck hun! i knwo you can do it!

Answer 4

There are a few good books you can read to assist you with your journey. One is called Boundaries (by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend) It teaches you how and when to say yes or say no. You can research similar books at the library or bookstore.

Also, I found this website: http://www.askmen.com/fashion/body_and_mind_100/111_better_living.html
It is 7 Steps to Stop Being a Pushover. It was written for men, but I think it can apply to anyone.

Answer 5

That ability comes from the feeling within that you are a good, valuable, worthwhile, loveable person who does not need to prostrate herself, nor grovel to get whatever crumbs of fake intimacy and fake love some guy holds out in front of you. VERY difficult to do but it CAN be done. You may need some help.

Answer 6

go to assertiveness training