I have a 18 year old son that has threat ed me and my husband.!!!!!?

Question

he abuses us mentally, swears, lies, steal from us,works and doesnt pay for anything becauses he doesnt want to!! were fighting ever day!! my husband and kids are not at peace!! last night he threated us, and im scared!!! I couldnt sleep. I want him out. but my husband has a soft spot for him .thats the reason its gotten this far!!! me and my other kids want peace! ITS A WAR ZONE NOW!!! PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

Make an appointment with a family counselor. Tell him he has to go or move out.

If he doesn't show, pack his stuff, put it on the front porch, and change the locks.

If he does show, try to work it out for a 90 days. If there's no change, then pack his stuff, put in on the front porch, and change the locks.

You need to do this for the younger children. They cannot get the idea that his behaviour is acceptable.

Answer 2

The reason this happens is because you let it happen. If you want it to stop...you gotta follow thru. Are you willing to follow thru? If not, then stop reading and continue living with the abuse and good luck. If you are willing to follow thru, then read on:









Good, good decision about following thru. Call the police and file a report. When someone threatens you, it does not matter if they are in your family or not. You have an 18 year old male threatening you which is called ASSAULT. If he pushes you, or hits you, it is called BATTERY. Either one is criminal. File a report. Your husband cannot prevent you from filing a report. When the report is filed, the 18 year old male will go to jail until bond is posted. He will have a court date. He may go to jail.

If you back down, he will keep doing it. Why wouldn't he???!! There are NO CONSEQUENCES to his actions. Make his actions have consequence....and he may stop.

Also- if your husband won't protect you and the kids then he is spineless. Don't depend on him for anything. Fortunately, you do not need his permission to file a report of assault. It is TOTALLY up to you. Totally your decision.

And, if you don't follow thru with charging the 18 yr old with assault...I can guarantee you'll be back here in a few weeks asking what to do.....and the circle will continue.
Either that or the 18yr old male will start beating on you.
Good luck with that. Ever seen a 40 yr old woman get in a fist fight with an 18 year old male? Give it some thought.

Answer 3

THROW HIS BUTT IN JAIL!!!! i know it is a hard thing to do but my mom's friend was going through the same thing but it went so far as her son hit her and put her in the hospital. if your husband has a "soft spot" for him that means he cares about him and if he does then he need to do what best for him and that means getting him help. If he refuses then you need to look after you and your other children and that means being a woman and leaving with those children. How would you feel if one day your son hits one of the other children and you could have prevented that. You also need to make it known you are there for your son but will not put up with abusive behavior. YOU ARE THE ADULT!! abuse is bad and wrong no matter who does it to you. ask youself this qestion......if it was your husband hitting you or mentally abusing you or the other children how fast would you leave him or report him....there is no easy way to do the right thing but to just do it. don't make your children or yourself live in fear because all it does is fuel your son's actions. In ignoring the matter you are fueling his bad behavior (meaning your part of the problem). call the police and confront him (your son) about the situation and make him leave your house if he has a job he can pay for his own place. Kids don't come with manuals on how to raise them but it don't mean you let them walk all over you and treat you anyway they wanna. To get respect you have to give it even if it means turning him in to the police.

Answer 4

I have been through this situation with a brother when I was younger. We did the family meeting "intervention" in the livingroom. My parents gave him an ultimatum - either straighten out or hit the road. He hit the road and left with his clothes in a large trash bag. They changed the locks on the doors as well. It is called "tough love." It was heartbreaking, but it worked.

Remember, this is affecting the whole family, not just you and your husband. There are other children involved and it can be traumatizing for all.

Now 20 years later my brother is a hardworking professional at a great corporation with a wonderful 7 year old son and all is well and he is healthy and well-adjusted.

Answer 5

Mr. Chivalry says, "First of all, no child (yes he is a child; he certainly isn't acting like an adult) should have ANY audacity to talk crazy to a parent, especially a parent that's paying rent. Put that sorry @$$ excuse for a man out!! Tell your husband to grow a backbone and help carry him out and dump him on the lawn. There is no way in h@#$ you all should be taking any $#!+ from him. He doesn't pay anything? He should've been choked a long @$$ time ago. Sorry, Mr. Chivalry had to go off."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 6

You need to have a serious talk with your husband about it. The safety of your other children should be your primary concern. He is eighteen years old now. It is sad that you have to be scared of your own son.
You could try to go to a family counselor, or if you called 911 and told them they could remove him and you could get him taken to a mental hospital
I hope it goes ok, but please DO NOT let him run your lives get him some help or just get him out.

Answer 7

The one true place you can go to find out what you should really do is God. Pray for a renewal in his heart and that God will soften his heart and for wisdom for you and your husband on how to handle this. But it won't get you anywhere unless you have faith and believe that God will get you through this. He's the only one who knows the whole situation and knows what's best. But you have to put full trust in God and just say, "I'm giving it all to you to handle, and I trust you 150%" Trust me, if you do this God works miracles. But remember "Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."

Answer 8

1. ok ok try to calm down first of all.
2. get the hole family together and talk
3. if that does not work then find a conseler
(closet to you that is LOL)
4. if he does not like the idea ask him how he feels about it and why you are doing it
5. once your son in in concoling you will see an iprivement
(i know becuse i had anger problems just like him but when i whent to conseling i am so much better)
TIP: when you are seeking a consler try to get a boy and one he like's and everyone in the house not just him
i hoped i helped ttyl

Answer 9

oh wow...call a military school or just kick him out. You do know that he could hurt your family real bad. What or who is gonna stop him from burning down your house? Stealing your car? Beating up his siblings and you? Give him and your husband an ultimatum. Good luck ma'am

Answer 10

is he your biological son?? OK hes 18 tell him he has to go if he is threatening you call the PO PO!! show him that you mean business!! if he is anything like my sons ( four teenagers) he will know that he better shape up or get the **** out homie!! stop being nice give him the cold shoulder make him feel like **** the way he has been making you feel!! you shouldn't take this **** in your own home the law states that he is legal at 18 and you have the right to ask him to LEAVE!! do it girl life is to short to suffer in your own home!!