Why is it that American men are no longer willing or able to financially support their families?

Question

Seriously in the U.S.A. many women would like to stay home full time with their children. We can't because many men today are not willing to be the provider or the jobs available won't pay the bills? Do you think womens lib had anything to do with this or is it just the economy?

I am not meaning to imply all men or that all women must stay home. I am just inquiring as to what I have been thinking and have heard some other women voice.

Answer 1

I am a stay-at-home mom. I've stayed at home ever since we learned I was pregnant with our first child. My husband has remained the sole wage-earner in our household. He has never faltered, and there has never been a question as to his willingness to provide for us. We're sort of old-fashioned...we believe it's his place to earn the money and my place to raise the children.

First, women's lib has helped to foster an environment where it's darned-near not so socially acceptable to stay home with your kids. Sad but true.

Second, we are a very selfish society, too. I hear it a lot that someone worked very hard to get an education and get a decent job and they're not about to give all that up just to raise their kids. The priorities are wrong when career status is more important than your own children. Maybe you did work hard, but part of having children is sacrificing for them. Why have children at all if you're going to put your career over your child?

Financial motive--of course--plays a role here. Sometimes there's a bona fide need for the mother to work. Sometimes mom's feel like they just HAVE to bring in their own paycheck...God help them should they be dependent on any man. Sometimes Mom works just to add a little extra to the budget, but the reality for so many--and one they don't realize--is that so much of their income is going to work-related expenses (clothing, meals, gas) and day care...thus, their own income isn't benefitting the family the way they intended.

And, too, a lot of women (and men, too) have a misconception as to what is really necessary for a family. It's not necessary for your kids to have top-of-the-line designer clothes. It's not necessary for your kids to have a TV in every room. Etc, etc, etc. We're a very must-have "Keep up with the Jones's" society and that plays a role here, too, in why Mom works.

Answer 2

Now that there are so many more people out there looking for jobs (i.e. the women have come out of the home), employers can be more discriminating and don't have to pay as much. This increase in workers has led to a decrease in pay, so one job in the family often won't pay the bills. Also, since women are fully capable of also making money outside the home, men are not willing to see them staying home as an option. (not all men, of course) They are expected to work to make a living, so they also expect women to. Men have traditionally been less concerned about the family's development, so any issues of sending kids off to strangers to be raised does not raise a red flag. Women's work (that of the home) has always been seen as not that hard or demanding, so many men see staying home with the kids as a cop-out.

One benefit of women's lib is that these ideas are starting to change (about the importance of developing the family and the parents' role in their childrens' lives). Men are starting to "work the second shift" at home and see how demanding it truly is. However, like all change, it must be slow.

Answer 3

Ah, I think it is not that men are NOT WILLING. I think it is more the issue of IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. The way the world and the economy have changed has made it nearly impossible for a single provider to meet the needs a family. I think alot of men would prefer thier wife to stay home and raise the kid(s) but not if it means they wear rags and eat beans.
ALSO, Alot of women prefer to have the ability and option to work. This is both good and bad. FOR ONE> Divorce is so high that if you get a divorce and you never worked you are pretty screwed at that point. The sad thing is kids being raised without the same parental structure that our parents were lucky to have.
If you choice is to stay home and raise kids, i think it's important if you are not just being a lazy baby making machine. You better marry a doctor or someone who can make the equivilent of two incomes. UNfortunately the average american can not pull this off.

Answer 4

The sexual revolution is the blame. Women all through history remained in the home, most of the men you speak of had children out of wedlock. The simple things in life no longer matter.
People want more and love their children less. We are so removed from family.

This is where we are now and the generation that is here has no memory of what once was.

How sad for us, not just as Americans, this is a world problem.
Third world countries are behind us in this, but they want to be like us. As Dickens said, " It is the best of times and the worst of times "

Answer 5

It breaks down to ecomony. People want to live in the next class level. So to maintain the lifestyle there needs to be a higher income. Which means both husband and wive need to work. Now I ask this, why are you only asking why women cannot stay at home? Why can't men stay at home with the kids while the wife goes out to work.?

Answer 6

I think it is mostly the economy. Wages are not going up as much as prices are. Society doesn't think like they did 60 years ago. Now it is acceptable, and pretty much expected that women go out and bring home a little bacon themselves. Although child care usually costs the same as what our paychecks are.

Answer 7

The problem is cultural and economic.

If the expectation of the family is to have a big house, big SUVs, and all the latest big screen TVs and other consumer items, a single salary will not usually allow the family to meet those so-called "needs".

So if your ideal is a single earner household, the economic expectations will have to fit the single salary.

Answer 8

i think it is the economy as well as the fact that actually i feel many women want to work it aint like it useto be men dont have to be provider any longer women can do it as well
have a great day

Answer 9

Wouldn't know. I've never worked a paying job in my life. My husband has always worked, and I stay home with the kids.

Answer 10

Because all of our jobs are moving overseas where companies don't have to pay them hardly anything. They have virtually no standard of living. Your local walmart store is a big supporter of moving jobs overseas and not paying people any more than absolutely necessary by law.