ok, I'll try to make this as short as possible! sometimes I think I'm just too nice (I don't like to hurt people's feelings). I broke up with my ex for many reasons. it was long distance, and she couldn't commit. She is a total closet-case who is ashamed of who she is. she's even still legally married to a man who's nothing more than a friend and roommate (another reason to end it). She lied to me about many things. she lies to family, friends, co-workers about herself. she's even so far in the closet, she won't even admit she's lesbian. she insisted I lie about myself to family & friends to protect her. I got sick of it. she even has this friend she met that took what little time she had with me away. and she still wants to be friends, and I don't want to. I'm in a great relationship now, and I don't need her trying to drive a wedge in it. I know she's lonely & has few friends, but I really just want to tell her to f**k off, but how do I do that tactfully say this?
2006-08-03 06:19:43 · 16 answers · asked by redcatt63 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
uh, probester91, I'm a lesbian too, you fool. your answer has no value here.
2006-08-03 06:29:10 · update #1
G, I'm not trying to get her to come out of the closet. I'm just trying to tactfully get her to leave me alone! she's the one who was emotionally abusive.
2006-08-03 06:30:23 · update #2
lingua06437, I'm not trying to get her out of the closet. that's her responsibility.
roger c, you're pretty vile yourself!
2006-08-03 07:31:06 · update #3
You don't have to be rude or mean, just be honest. Tell her that since she is your ex now and you are with someone new, that you feel it's best that the 2 of you do not have any further contact. Explain to her that it is not fair to your current girlfriend for the 2 of you to still be friends. Wish her the best in life and move on. She is obviously not the type of person who is good or healthy for you to be in a relationship with or be friends with.
2006-08-03 06:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the truth hurts... but is necessary.
Tell your ex what you told us. She has many emotional conflicts going on in her life. She has no right dragging another person into her problems. She needs to sort out her messes and decide what she wants in a relationship. Until then you cannot be a part of her life. She is obviously confused and trying to grasp onto anything & everyone she can. She needs to instead be focused on herself & her life right now.
Tell her you know what you want, and you have found someone who is equally secure. You and your ex are at different points in each of your lives, which makes you unable to continue a friendship/relationship together.
2006-08-03 06:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by .·:*RENE*:·. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a tactful way of saying it simply because your world and your ex's world are 2 separate places. You believe in being who you are she believes in being gay when it suits her and straight when it doesn't. That's one thing, but then to try and exploit your feelings for her by making you lie and be deceitful is criminal. She needs to know that, okay she might get hurt, but she can not live in a fantasy world forever she needs to realise if she continues the way she does she will end up being very bitter and very lonely. So, my friend, just tell her. It's the right thing to do and it is up to her how she reacts. Good luck.
2006-08-03 06:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people dont take hints well Red
Those are the ones you cant be nice with and you just have to tell them to f*** off
It doesnt make you the bad person.
Im glad my ex didnt get all nutso on me when we broke up
If you dont want to get real mean try.......
"Look, there is just way too much drama when we are together, id rather we just not contact each other any more"
Thats kinda firm but still not nasty.
2006-08-03 12:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Christy hit it right on the head. Get your new girl friend in on this too. You could say to her what she wrote down verbatim.
Then just don't return any messages.
------- or -------
If confrontation is that hard for you: Still get your girl friend in on this. Just cut her off completely. Don't return any messages. She'll get the hint.
I think it would be more polite to give her some closure though.
Question? Why is it your responisbility to try and get her out of the closet? She has to learn how to take care of herself.
2006-08-03 07:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not taking her calls and not reading her letters or emails she can not manipulate you. After a few weeks of ignoring her she will get the hint and move on. When someone is being abusive you need to realize you play their game when you listen to them. Just stop reading their letters or email and stop giving them attention when they call. And unless they are mentally disturbed then they will stop bothering you. If they are mentally disturbed then your course is quite easy she is in the closet so you could always threaten to call the authorities in her area for stalking you. Just a subtle hint will do it and you will never hear from her again I guarantee.
2006-08-03 06:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way(nice guy)and know how hard it is to hurt someone you care about, even if they are hurting you. But that's what you have to focus on, the fact that they are hurting you.
It will be hard, but you need to tell them that you are sorry, but you need more positive influences in your life right now. They will say you are calling them negative. Tell them they are not negative, but are influencing your life in a negative way, and until they change that, you can't have them in your life.
I may be wrong about this, but it's the best advice I can give from someone who's been there.
2006-08-03 06:39:58 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just e-mail her this question.You already have how you feel and what you expect of her written down. You can tell strangers the truth on how you feel so give her the same respect.
2006-08-03 06:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by amberd1219 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what gives you the right to decide if she comes out of the closet or not? either come to an agreement, or end it and dont communicate with her. its not that hard.
just dont think you can make her do what you want if she is not ready. that usually leads to an abusive relationship and that is not good for aybody.
good luck
2006-08-03 06:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by G 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
get a woman no bisexuality its trouble trouble take it from an old lesbian lol i know 100 percent lesbain here and so is my wife lol
2006-08-03 08:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by lady_and_lover69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋