You Are Walking Through A Deserted Mall, You Come Across A Werewolf, What Do You Do Next?

Answer 1

Assuming that I *knew* the mall was deserted....well, its a shopping mall, they tend to have people in them, so I'd like to think *that* bit of evidence, known in advance would be a bit of a heads-up that something isn't right.

I wouldn't *go* to that deserted mall until/unless I was ready. Meaning, getting myself armed, armored and prepared as best as someone with "mood issues" can (I can't likely get firearms now can I?).

--Get the machete? Check.
--Snag some Kevlar, maybe some anti-shark armor from a Scuba diver's supply store....Not quite, this would likely be the hardest part. Might have to settle for *thick leather* backed by the Kevlar, though that diver's chain-shirt *would* be ideal.
--Snag some portable, tossable *meat*? Check, did that at the grocery store last night, can get more easily. ;)
--Snag some High-Intensity OC? Not as yet...but it could be doable. If folks suddenly start getting "maimed by animals" on a frequent basis locally, the market for people to snag 35% OC Bear Repellent is going to *be there*.
--Snag a First Aid kit. Doable, if expensive.
--Snag a Sterno Can/chemical cookfire? Ditto, doable if expensive.

Once all that is done...I go to the mall. I already have the flashlight, it would have fresh batteries (got those already), so I'd basically be let in a service entrance by whoever has the keys....this way I can enter through a store that is already closed and secured. :) The armor's on, flashlight in one hand, other hand by the stuff strapped at waist level--machete *and* the meat-sticks/sausage links, ready to either munch on nervously or toss to the nearest source of motion....the OC Repellent would be nearby too.

The idea is simply this. Enter the mall, do recon, find out *what* the hell kind of animal has holed up in there that is capable of having the whole shopping mall *deserted*.

If I see or *smell* anything canine or lupine, I immediately toss the meat in the direction of what I see and smell, keeping the flashlight trained right on the face of the critter so that in the presumed darkness of the mall it doesn't get a good look at me.

While it is distracted I talk to it and see if it *can* be eased down or reasoned with....if so, I give it the rest of the meat, tossing it in one direction as I *walk* away in the other. No sense pissing off a beast if you can keep it on friendly terms, right?

If it makes ANY, and I mean any, sudden moves at all, it gets the Gas Face with the 35% OC. The stuff was meant to stop *bears* after all, any wolf/human hybrid is going to be dropped, possibly to the point of overkill with the stuff....on humans it can leave first-degree chemical burns, ok? But yeah, the idea is to spray and run like hell.

Why? The assumption is that the lycanthropy is going to be a contagious disease and that combat with the thing would therefore be suicidal even *if* it follows the traditional, NON-White Wolf folkloric notion of not being terribly hale and healthy.

The machete is there in the event I get cornered....if the thing is that hellbent on killing me I *will* take its head even if it is the last thing I do (and at that point it probably will be). Also, if I do get bit, there is a slim chance I can stop the spread of the illness, either by *amputating minor wounds* (fingers, toes) or cauterizing the larger ones (which is what the cookstove-in-a-can is there for, as a heat souce to get the blade hot).

I figure the above would work on any traditional folkloric werewolf, silver weakness or no, at least in the sense of getting me to *survive* the encounter...hell, even the genetic freaks from _Heat Guy J_ would be doable under this scenario.

Of course, a White Wolf style werewolf would just be an invincible battle tank and I'd die, quickly, no matter what I do, the game is that heavily rigged against the mundane human.

Am I missing anything? Assume that I can't do guns, and cannot afford silver on much of anything.....

Answer 2

Make him chase me into the pet store where I cage his azz then buy him a nice collar and leash. Then of couse we'll be off to Man's Best Friend for some obedience training. Can't have him running around bitting people you know. He'll probably need a good bath too. Do you think it's safe to use doggie shampoo on a werewolf?

Answer 3

Stare down the werewolf straight in the eyes. It runs towards me and I run towards it, it pounces and I quickly slide under it sliding into a weztel preztel. I hop up grab some garlic dip I smear a preztel with it take a bite and toss it straight it the werewolf's mouth and laugh why he sizzles away in agony.

Answer 4

Take out my trusty knife, kill him on the spot, and find a deserted playground to roast the carcass and eat him. WHY would I be in a deserted mall??

Answer 5

Use the awsome power of the Pants Macabre from Munchkin Bites 2.
Alternatively throw a stick and shout "FETCH!!!"

Answer 6

Deserted mall? What planet is THIS on??

Answer 7

I hate Mall's

Answer 8

Stop smoking that joint and go home for a bag of Cheetos.

Answer 9

Shoot him in the face with my Glock .45 GAP.

Answer 10

Pull out my pump-action shotgun full of silver buckshot and blow his head off.