My husband says I am stressing him out and he is about done with it what is that suppose to mean?

Question

I am an attractive and successful 36 year old blonde but my insides (health wise) are rotten. I have had 6 sugeries and three broken bones in the last 5 years. I am having Kidney problems at the moment. My husband hates that I take pain medicine and monotors my pill bottles ( he has had past relationship with women with non-prescription drug problems) and he passes the experience he had with them onto me. I hate being sick and I hate that it causes him stress but I wish he could understand what it is like to be unhealthy and still keep the family, house and work going at the same time. He says he is stressed out what can I do to help him.

Answer 1

I think the two of you should take a vacation together. Being defensive about the situation will just agrivate him, because guys hate being wrong or being called out on somehting. He worries because he cares, and that's a good thing. Tell him you APPRECIATE his concern, and you RESPECT the fact that he cares, but caring for your health is important to you, and you are doing the best you can... etc etc. Just make sure the way it sounds, relates to you two working on it together. he wants to be involved.... let him be. Just be productive together, rather than destructive.

Answer 2

Don't discuss any of it with him anymore (unless you HAVE to). I know that sounds harsh and I'm sorry you're going through it. He shouldn't be saying things like that to you. When I had breast cancer, it was all I could do - to keep my family "up" as they were suffering emotionally. I mean, I was too but that part doesn't matter for some reason. It's a strange situation to be in. I can understand his concern about the pain pills though. They are addictive and he's had first hand experience of what can happen so he's just being careful. ANYONE can become an addict.

Answer 3

I think it's unfair, he should'nt be comparing you to past relationships- that's the past, you are a totally different individual. He should judge and treat you by the relationship you have with him NOW and not by others. Instead of stressing, your husband should help you around the house and show more of his support. I understand how this could be stressful for him but he needs to know that you sickness is not your fault. Talk to him and tell him how this makes you feel and you might want to have your doctor talk to him so he has a better understanding of your conditions. Tell him to remember his vows especially the part where it says "In sickness or in health". I wish you luck!

Answer 4

He needs to sit down and take a long breather. He is stressing himself out because honestly honey he doesn't know what he would do if you weren't there with him. If men showed there emotions more often we would happier marriages. Why don't you two go to nice dinner this weekend, and just spend some time to yourselves so you can reassure him that you love him. I am very sorry to hear that you are in the health situation that you are, and I think that is what is making him stressed. Talk to him too, just let him know although you are unhealthy you are still there, and your not changing. Godd Luck to you!

Answer 5

Get him to go to the doctor with you and have the nurse or the MD explain to him that the meds that you take are needed. If he can't accept you as the way things are, then you might need to go on down the road. There are men out here that would understand. His stress can be fixed by probably going to a doctor himself.

Answer 6

Your husband made vows "In sickness and in health--till death do us part"..so, he'll have to deal with this. I mean, that's why we aren't supposed to marry for lust and looks, because human beings get sick, and get old too.

You cant change him, only yourself. All you can do is try to keep a positive attitude. I was REALLY sick last year. It was awful. The only 2 people who were there was my mom and my dad--thank God for them..

OK, tell your husband he needs a vacation--by himself. Just tell him to go somewhere for 5 days and chill out. He NEEDS A BREAK. Ask your mom to take the kids, and YOU need to be alone as well. Take a breather--both of you.

As for your health--Girl, I almost died last year. But I TRULY believe that it was natural health, vitamins and herbs that have kept me alive--along with God's Grace. Dear, Get this GREAT book called "Back to Eden", By Jethro Kloss. It is the Bible of Natural Health books and written by a great Christian doctor and healer in the early 1900's. He healed cancer, diabetes, everything. It will help you get rid of your kidney problems and all.Stop using those precription drugs that arent even helping you: GOD PUT PLANTS AND TREES ON THIS EARTH TO HEAL US..Take control of your health--stop complaining and take control!!!

Please buy this book and read the chapters that are about your illnesses, I put in a link for it from Amazon.com. Its only 14 dollars--you've got Nothing to lose--except your illness.

I also buy all my vitamins and herbs from this excellent place called "Puritans Pride", my mom & and I have used them for over 20 years. They have the highest quality and lowest price. My mom is in PERFECT health and she looks better than people in their 30's. (I'm 29 and she's 52)

As for my knowledge about natural health--I can tell you right now that you most likely have kidney problems because you dont drink enough water--and you probably have urinary tract infections that you havent taken care of. The body needs 1 liter of water a day. You probably drink sodas, which is terrible for the body. Dear, you are too young to be this sick.

If you do this and it works-- you can email me at [e-mail] and let me know how it works.

Peace and Good Luck.

Answer 7

He needs to get therapy if he is using his problems with women from his past to create new problems in your marriage today. How selfish of him to say that to you! You don't enjoy being sick, and I am certain if given the choice you wouldn't be. When he married you he vowed to love you for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, in SICKNESS and in health. If he cannot be supportive of you when you need him most then it is he who has the problem. You have enough on your plate without having to worry about how YOU can help HIM.

Best of luck to you. You certainly do have your hands full.

Answer 8

First of all I think your husband is being selfish and insecure. Its obvious that he still has past issues with his ex. I think the best thing for you to do at the moment is to take time to take care of yourself. I don't know what is with most of the women here, they think that they are inslaved to their husbands. Take your medication as needed. If your in pain then take what you have to.
It is not about what you can do to make him at ease. He needs to grow up and have some respect and dignity. Its what he should be doing for you.. If it keeps on then tell your doctor that he is hindering you to take your meds. Or, keep your medication in a anorther location where you have easy access to and don't tell the asshole..

Answer 9

When he told you this.. you should have said "So am I, what do you want to do about it". Some men just can't take sickness. (But when they get sick it is a whole different problem) If he doesn't want to support you, you will have face your medical problems by yourself. Hide your medicine and take care of yourself. When you get too sick to function tell him to take over and take care of yourself. I was lucky to find friends (one is a doctor and the other a critical care nurse) to be my sounding board, I know I can depend on their expert advice without "bothering" my husband. As moms we are always willing to give give give, sometimes we have to find the time to give to ourselves.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear what's happening to you health wise and your husband's hard time in dealing with it. He may need to talk to someone besides you to vent this out. Does he have a good buddy that he confides in? You may want to talk to his good buddy and have him have a man to man talk over beer or something about this.

If you think he's having a hard time dealing with your health issue and he's having a hard time dealing with this marriage thing (especially when you said "he is about done with it"), you two should probably go see a marriage counselor. It's not your fault that you have health issue. You're having hard enough time dealing with your own health issue, and I think you will need help from someone to help your husband dealing with his issues too.