My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time we have three children. For the past few years we have been fighting and argueing all the time. I found out he is doing drugs and asked him to leave and he refuses to go. I have decided to leave him. I refuse to go through anymore drama with him. I feel life is to short and my children and I don't deserve to go through this with him. He said if I leave him and take the kids I was going to pay for that. In a way I believe him and I don't want to put my kids in harms way what should I do?
2006-08-03 05:21:17 · 12 answers · asked by platinumkay356 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
baby girl, any good lawyers will tell you that you have the upper hand on this. don't worry about his threat, many people goes through the same things. so, pack up and go. life too short to stand still.
2006-08-03 05:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I have my own problems and have been in the same situation. I think you should leave quietly. Get everything together dont tell anyone where you are going until you get there. Tell only the people you trust. A protective order is good, but if he is high not good enough. If he has a P.O, go to them they can stop him quick. But if you feel threatened by him leave as quietly as you can.
2006-08-03 12:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nita C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you leave, which I hope you do. Call the police and ask for a civil standby. It's where the police stand there while you move out. If he shows up, they keep the peace. He's not gonna change and you are doing you and your kids a favor by getting out before any real trouble starts !!!
Also, follow up with support payments for the kids welfare, their his responsibility too......
Get a lawyer or go to your local HRS office.
2006-08-03 12:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by quiet times 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
protect your children and LEAVE ,period
he has to first ADMIT that he has a problem before he can even get help. NO ONE can help him until he realizes that he has a problem. Your main responsiblity is to guide your children in a safe environment; otherwise, if they see their father using drugs, the odds are that they will do the same (statistically speaking). good luck to you. don't be afraid. fear of the unknown keeps alot of people from doing what they know is the right thing to do. With time, you will come to see that you made ther right decision. Also, if he hassles you, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER... good luck
2006-08-03 12:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him the heads up, if he's serious about his threat, get out now without him knowing. Don't take a chance on you or the kids getting hurt in any way. You've let him know you want him out, he won't go so you owe him nothing, get out before things can get ugly and get the kids to a safe place.
2006-08-03 12:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are truly serious about this, i would get a restraining order and leave him...this is a drastic measure but in this case, the safety of your children and yourself are on the line, and if you stay, you are jeopardizing that. i would not tell him in fear that he might hurt you physically. with the law on your side, they will be able to protect you and if you need assistance financially, in these circumstances, you should be able to find a sufficient amount of help
2006-08-03 12:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by MARIA G. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST LEAVE! Then call him from your mother's or from a safe house. DO NOT get in a fight with him, if he is abusing drugs it is hard to tell how he will react. Good luck.
AND IF you leave - do not go back! Even if he promises NEVER EVER....you know the rest.
2006-08-03 12:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a restraining order and move out w/out telling him.. don't tell anyone ur moving but the people who r gonna help u move and those closest to u.. of course make sure they're not gonna tell him.. don't give ur addr or tel# to anyone and make sure it's unlisted..
after ur safe in ur new home then contact him and tell him why u left and that if he wants to see the children it has to be supervised..
i'd go to court for child support and for full custody of my children so that he doesn't say that u kidnapped them...
2006-08-03 12:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your plans to leave and then leave ASAP. I think a letter to him explaining everything would be appropriate - since things sound like they could go downhill quickly if you actually tell him face-to-face.
2006-08-03 12:26:52 · answer #9 · answered by B C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave and as soon as possible
2006-08-03 12:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋