About 2 wks ago, my girlfriend (33) and I (43) were getting ready to go somewhere around 10:30 am, and It told my girlfriend (we've lived together for years) that I was ready and was going downstairs to take the trash out and would be waiting by the car. I forgot something, and went back up stairs. I heard my 27 y/o male roommate go into the shared bathroom upstairs. Immediately after that, I heard her knock on the bathroom door and ask if she could come in (actually, she asked if he was 'decent'). He was getting ready to jump in the shower when she did that. I stopped in my tracks because I was shocked. Then she went into the bathroom and I heard the door close. I went to our bedroom to get a pen, and listend to both of their voices inside the bathroom. I was in shock and went downstairs to the living room to wait. It was about 10 mins. before she came out. I thought she'd tell me about this...and just now (two weeks later, questioned her about it. She totally denies it EVER occurred.
2006-08-03 05:15:57 · 27 answers · asked by Anon Searcher 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The thing that bothers me, is that IF nothing happend, why would she denie the whole think? Makes me think she cheated even more. HOW should I approach this with her? When I calmly explained that I'd heard her in the batrhoom with him, she got angry at me tell me that I "don't trust her and am calling her a lyer". She refuses to even admit she went into the bathroom at all. (At first when I told her, she didn't know that I'd actually come back up stairs, and hear her inside the bthrm.). THANKS for any advice, and helping me clear my head up on this painful experience).
2006-08-03 05:19:27 · update #1
i went through a similar situation, and ill tell you, if shes denying it completely, theres something going on. what you can do is walk him into a trap by telling him that she told you that something was going on between them and you wanted to give him a chance to come clean. works every time.
2006-08-03 05:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by whoisthisisme 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a very difficult subject to answer. I understand that she was in the bathroom for 10 min. But that doesn't really say much. You did not add into your question what you had heard what they were saying in the bathroom that leaves out allot of details. So in that case I think that you should have knocked on the door and saw for yourself. That is the only way that your question would have been answered. Not asking her a week or so later. who knows it could have went both ways now she either forgotten due to the fact that it wasn't something important to her: or she did do something with your roomate and she was hoping that you were just acusing her of doing it. She actually does not know that you were upstairs and heard whatever you had heard. So What did you hear in the bathroom? And why didn't you solve your problem right there and did something about it? You could have needed something from one of them or even something in the bathroom also for a matter of fact.
2006-08-03 12:43:02 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, all I can say is WoW. I guess you have to decide a bunch of things...
1. Do you love her? Do you believe that she loves you?
2. Do you trust her? Has she ever given you reasons not to?
3. Is being with her better than risking telling her to get lost and being alone?
4. Do you trust your 27 yr. old roommate?
5. Do you think she could stand the guilt of being unfaithful?
6. How long have you been together? If it is just a short time, is it really worth worring about?
Answer all of those questions, and you will have your answer. Be truthful when answering, and you will have the "right" answer.
Good Luck!!!
2006-08-03 12:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by technical_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure if they were doing anything to consider it cheating, but either way it's not very respectful on her part to go in while she thought you were out. If I was you, I would have brought it up right after, or even have knocked on the door right then and there, instead of waiting a couple of weeks. And for her to deny anything isn't very good either...so I really don't know what to tell you except to keep your eyes open and try to get some info out of her so you know what happened.
2006-08-03 12:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dinner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question is why in the world would you have a roomate along with your girlfriend living with you. I know we hear these stories all the time. I would confront the friend as well and see what he says about the situation. You know what you heard and don't let them play mind games with you. Trust is something serious in a relationship so if they continue to deny the situation I would either find another place to live or kick them out.
2006-08-03 12:22:55 · answer #5 · answered by Young Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are absolutely sure you heard both of their voices in the bathroom and she is totally denying it then I would suspect something is up. People only lie when there is something going on. I think you need to set them both up. You need to pick a time they will both be there and say you need to go somewhere for a few hours. Hang around and see what happens.
2006-08-03 12:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! Get rid of the roomie!!!! NOW!!!
Frankly, I don't think anything happened but unless that's yer only bathroom, WTH did she have to go in there for with him nekkid & getting ready for a shower?? The fact that she's denying the whole thing tells me that even if nothing happened, she's definitely having THOUGHTS.
Now, man, if yer a very jealous guy, she may have denied it outta fear that you'd never stop pestering her about it. If yer NOT a very jealous guy, GET RID OF THE ROOMIE and start courting her like you hooked up yesterday.
2006-08-03 12:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to re-evaluate your relationship. For example, why you're 43 and living with a 27 year old roommate and your girlfriend...but beyond that....that she may be cheating on you.
A general piece of advice..anytime someone denies something and immediately assumes you're accusing them...when you're not...there's usually a reason for it...like they are doing the behavior. Not always...but often enough.
2006-08-03 12:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that sucks, she is definitely cheating. If she wasn't she wouldn't have denied being in the bathroom in the first place. Talk to the dude he will tell on himself cuz most guys want to brag about their conquests to whoever will listen. Get rid of the bit*h, you can't turn a HO into a housewife.
2006-08-03 12:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by bones54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is STUPID - just so you know. She asked if he was decent. Women have to put the "finishing touches" on when they go out, that is all that happened. If you are so insecure AND you think she is going to cheat on you find someone around your age and maybe you won't be as scared.
BTW one last thought - she was in there for 10 minutes and you think they were up to something? I guess we should call YOU speedy...if that is what she is use to.
2006-08-03 12:21:32 · answer #10 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be watching them very closely from now on. She seems to have the classic one lie turning into another with her denial.
From a woman's point of view, I wouldn't forget that I went into the bathroom when someone who was not my husband was in the shower.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 12:22:58 · answer #11 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋