i was always a lesbian. Had girlfriends before. But then when i grad from college, i tried to hide myself and my feelings. Now i'm 25 and suddenly i had this baby with a guy (whom i married). Of cos the marriage didnt last cos i'm still a lesbian and will always be. But i feel uncomfortable dating gals cos i have a kid. What do u think?
2006-08-03 04:50:34 · 20 answers · asked by pinkBDana 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It is the twenty-first century; my mate has a beautiful daughter who lives with us. The sooner you break the ice the better. But the important thing is not to be sexually agressive with a girlfriend in front of your son. Usually a light kiss is acceptable, but no foreplay or touching.
2006-08-06 06:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by Sasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm exactly in your same situation. I'm also 25 and with a kid, but he's only 10 months old. I tried to do the same thing, I dated this guy and got pregnant, I wanted to "change," but obviously I couldn't. Well, I'm already dating girls again, and there's nothing wrong with that. The good thing is that I didn't get married.
Did you keep custody of your son? Because my baby's father wants to take him away from me, just because I'm a lesbian and he says I'm a bad example. I don't know if we have the same laws as you in your country though.
But anyway, there's nothing wrong if you date girls. I've met a few lesbian moms when I lived in the U.S. You gotta be thankful because your country is a little more open minded when it comes to parenthood and homosexuality.
Just make always sure the people you bring to your life are nice to the kid, he should always be your number 1 priority.
2006-08-03 12:40:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely it's okay, unless you live in a part of the world where dating women is going to cause your son's life to be dangerous (I mean, where he might get attacked/kidnapped to wrongly punish you). Yes, it will probably be hard for him at times because others will be mean, and it may be confusing, but so are a lot of family circumstances (divorce/remarriage, distant parents, etc.). Your son is best off, in my opinion, growing up in a household that is 1) filled with love and happiness, which means a partner that provides love to you and him will be good, and 2) supportive of personal life choices, of not following the common path just because it is common or easier.
As always, though, when you look for a partner, man or woman, I think you should always being thinking if that person will be a good parent for your child--if they won't, it doesn't matter how they make you feel, because your child, in my opinion, should be more important.
2006-08-03 11:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Qwyrx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being open with your child is the most important thing first. Some may say dating women is wrong but honey you have to live for yourself not other people. Talk to your son. Not about the situation itself..but about other things. Try to develop that openess with him. Don't hide who you are. What kind of mommy would you be then?? Just do as if it were men in your life. Be careful who you bring him around, etc. But altogether you have to be happy before you make your baby happy. Fear is good because that means you are cautious. Be happy. Take care.
2006-08-03 12:20:51 · answer #4 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you dating whomever you choose. You need to move on with your life and be happy. Having a child should not stop you from doing this. Consider only that you will need to keep your intimate displays away from him - and this would hold true even if you were dating a man. A 3 year old is very impressionable and it would be wise to wait until he was older and had some education behind him before you're more free with your woman/woman affections.
2006-08-03 13:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jylsamynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Of cos the marriage didnt last cos i'm still a lesbian and will always be.."
- Then why did you marry him and put yourself (and him and your son) in this position? Apparently you weren't thinking straight (no pun intended).
Don't pretend to be someone you're not. If you like women, date women. Just teach your son about your lifestyle as he gets older.
2006-08-03 11:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my girlfriend has three kids and she was married for a long time. All the kids like me thank goodness, but one of the kids took longer. I think its great to date and you just need to be with someone who allows you to put your kid first. Still allow you to have mommy time! You see what that younger boy said he hates his mothers girlfriend. Something more is there. Make sure who ever you date seriously has the same raising method as you. Otherwise don't bring them around your child.
2006-08-03 12:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by mylife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom did that to me and my dad when I was 8 and it took me a long time to understand it. I accept my mom now but I hate her GF's with a passion. It's uncontrollable, Im 26 now and I still can be around her with her. I try so hard but when I See her touching my mom I want to fight her. I just felt like she dissed my dad so hard and he is a good man, but you don't have to care. Since your son is young it may not effect him, I just ask that you don't eliminate males from his life due to your sexual preference becasue he will have to grow to be a man and it's good for us as teenagers to have that example of what a man should be.
2006-08-03 12:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you obviously need someone who can offer you some moral advice. This is the hardest way of life that you can send your child down. If you tell him its ok, then you may turn him towards sex with guys. If you care more about sex then your own child, then grant custody to his father for his sake.
2006-08-07 10:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am amazed at the number of young people who dont think about consequences about bringing kids into this world. Your kid didnt ask to be here. Keep your pants on , and take care of him/her first.
2006-08-03 14:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋