What do you do when your husband looks at porn all the time??

Question

I have been married for 27 years and my husband looks at porn then comes to me for the sex, I feel very ugly when this happens, i am not a bad looking woman and I truly love having sex myself, what do I do?? some of you can help I am sure......looking for the right answers to this...

Answer 1

i am so sorry for how your husband is making you feel
no one should be made to feel this way
if he makes you feel so bad i think you should tell him what you have told us
see with men porn gets them excited and i don't honestly think he knows how you feel by the sounds of it
i think he must be thinking you must like what is happening
your looks have nothing to do with it Hun
some men just love porn and it helps them to perform the way they want if i was you i would sit him down and talk about it
i am sure you both will work out this problem
good luck
respect
shaz

Answer 2

I absolutly 100% agree with Valarie (above). It's not normal and is certainly NOT healthy.

I have a few suggestions:

First, I think you should try to talk to your husband about it this. Tell him how this is making you feel. Perhaps, he dosen't realize it hurts you so much. I don't reccomend getting offensive or call him any names (name calling is extremenly ineffective). When your talking to him, remind him that you are his wife and that you want him to be satisfied - with you.

You have to understand that after 27 years things may have gotten a little too "systematic". This dosen't mean he's bored with you - just a little restless with the same 'ol same 'ol.

I would suggest trying a little foreplay (and I don't mean the usual bl*w j*b). For example - try making dinner or cleaning the house in a teddy, flash him your breasts when he least expects it, or whisper naughty little things in his ear. Change it up. Another good way to do that is hook up with you local "Party Gals" or Passion Parties" distributer. You wont have to have a whole party - just ask for a catalogue, and I know they would be more than happy to place an order just for you. get a catalogue and ask you husband to look at it with you - see if there is anything he is interested in trying together. They have all sorts of lotions, potions and games not just gauky dildos (excuse my frankness).

Most importantly - you MUST remember that men are very visual creatures. Just becasue he looks at porn does NOT mean that he is comparing you to all thoes women. Also keep in mind that thoes women are artificial. They don't really look like that in real life - it's call "air brushing", and your husband knows that.

Two things to remember and NEVER forget:
1) It has been proven that men are more attracted to confidence than looks and...
2) Marilyn Monroe was a size 14! Ever hear anybody call her fat?

Answer 3

It should be something that the both of you should enjoy together. If not then he shouldnt be doing it. Why dont you start looking at porn for women and see what his reaction is. If he is lusting after a picture of a girl then he is probably thinking about her when having sex with you. If he needs that to be with you, I could see how it would make you feel ugly. I would feel ugly too. I am in the same predicament only mine actually talks to them on the phone and online. He supposedly stopped but I am sure he will do it again. Put your foot down and tell him that you dont like it and how it makes you feel. If he loves you then he will stop. If he is doing this then it may turn into more. If he is lusting over pictures, How is he when around other pretty females? Sounds to me like he is probably one of those guys that yells stuff out their windows or beeps at pretty girls as he drives by. Go get yourself some pictures of men and even if you dont like it, act like you do. See what his reaction will be. The next time he tries to have sex after looking at porn, Tell him to use his damn hand. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to be so blunt but your husband is an asshole. You two have been married for 27 yrs and he still wants to look at those things. Espically since he's seen sooo many in the coarse of 27yrs and still can't get enough. There is only so many shapes women can come in. To me when you've seen 100, you've seen them all.

Your hubby is a prev, and I think you should just rent some porn made espically for women, then watch the hunky guy that will look way more hotter then your hubby. After that when your all hot and ready to go ask your hubby for sex and see how he likes you being preheated by another man before you get to him. I beat anything he won't like that at all.

Answer 5

I don't see a problem on your hubby's end of this. You both benefit from it. I mean he looks at porn and you both have sex. Check it out with him. That's what I do with my hubby. You may be surprised that it may work for you the way it works for him. At first, I felt just like you do now. But then my curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know what it was about it [porn] that made him want to view it all the time. Have you asked him why he looks at it all the time? For some, porn is a turn-on. For some porn is a tool - no pun intended. Your husband is probably viewing things that you and he don't do in the boudior.

Answer 6

My husb and I have been married 16 yrs. a few yrs ago we sat down and talked about the sex, (still good but not earthshattering) he was looking at porn all the time. We were blatantly honest about our desires, fantasies, and then tried to fulfill each others, since then he hasn't looked at much porn and I'm very satisified. I never saw his looking at porn as a ding on me though, men are very visual and sexual, it was nothing against me any more than my romance novels were a ding on him. We just see things and feel things differently.

Answer 7

I agree that if a man has to watch porn to have sex with you its not right. My husband does the same thing and it makes me feel unloved. I've been married to the same man for 18 yrs and with him for 21 yrs. It makes me feel that I have no control over our sex life either. He exspects me to perform things he has seen on those sites. I refuse it's not me. I agree with the other lady that say's its degrading. If he needs help in that department then he doesn't seem to understand that its up to us to satisfy each other not using porn as a cruch. Marrage is a 2way street. I wouldn't sit and watch porn w/my husband only cuz I know what the effect will be after. Not thinking of me he's thinking of the girls he saw in the film. Not me what soever. Men don't think highly of themselves when they watch it or they wouldn't have to. Men don't see what we see and they don't feel what we feel. And visversa.

Answer 8

Uh we men are a little unimaginitive and sometimes ...ok most of the time we need a graphic image to motivate or inspire us if you were to look at his porn I am sure you find that many of the things he does or tries he got from porn his looking at porn has nothing to do with you and everything to do with be him or shall I say male I am not defending him just telling it like it is

Answer 9

It really kills me- some of these women's answers. I myself am an attractive women, in fact, I work as a personal trainer......I generally feel pretty darn good about my looks....but I certainly would fell like CRAP if my husband/boyfriend had to look at other women just to get turned on to have sex with me! How can women HONESTLY sit and watch porn with thier guys and CLAIM to enjoy it????? Porn is made with MEN in mind! Not women. Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude but IMHO, once a man puts a ring on your finger and VOWS to love you, til death do you part, the lusting intentionally after other women is OVER!!! Yes, we all will look at attractive people, can't help that, but to intentionally seek out lusting after others, and watching them perform sexually, thats just not right.

Women who allow their men to do this, are the ones with the low self esteem. They should have some self respect, not the women who are somehow considered "prude" just because they happen to consider their marriage as one man-one woman.

I will get a lot disagreeing with me......but secretly, no woman wants their man looking at others.........period.

Answer 10

Take it from somebody who lost out to an outsider rather than porn. You would rather he look at pron than go get someone to fulfill these fantasies, right. After 31 yrs, he choose to act on his fantasies because he didn't know how or wouldn't ask me to try them, and now I'm by myself & he's miserable with the LAST one I caught him with (out of many over time). So, do whatever you can think of to spice up the bedroom fantasies. Communications is needed to help keep relationships from dissolving, so ask him what is it you can do (within reason), otherwise let him LOOK at the pron, OK.