Me and my fiance has announced the date of the wedding at my home chruch and everybody seems really happy that I made the choice to get married and The person I am getting married to fits every thing I could want in a wife from character all the way to religion and I do love her but i still have some major overbearing feelings (heavy love) for my x we conceived a child and things ended bitter because we were not finacially stable so because of the pain & frustration I look to god for help and begin to read my bible more and concentrate on making sound decisions I don't know whether to go with my heart or whats just the best decision for my life I don't want to be selfish this just seems like a really hard decision I was told that being married to
someone and in love with someonelse is like a slow death please give your best opinon so that I may make the best decision in life
2006-08-03 04:35:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DON'T get married.
You still love your ex and need to sort that first.
It is not fair any anyone else if you get heavily involved with them.
All they become is a stop gap, you are using them.
You need to sort everything out with your ex.
2006-08-03 04:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage shouldnt be done with a heavy heart. When you are standing up there before God and all your family and friends you should be happy. Im sure your soon-to-be-wife wouldnt want you to marry her if you had unresolved feelings for someone else. Maybe you should slow things down and resolve some issues with your ex before jumping into a frying pan and bringing more problems into the mix. Marriage is sapose to be for life and if you still have feelings for your ex...how can you honestly say that. Postpone it...dont cancel it forever...and work out these issues with the mother of your child...then you can get married and you will know its the right person...for all the right reasons. I'll pray for you! Good Luck with whatever decision you end up making!
2006-08-03 04:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot marry your fiance. You will never be happy in that marriage because you do not love her. If you are having these feelings now and you are not even married; it will only get worse when you get married. You need to do the Christian thing and be honest with your fiance. She is not the woman you love most in the world. You must tell her your feelings for the other girl. This is not fair to your fiance. You should not marry her knowing you love someone more than her because then you are robbing her of the opportunity to meet a man who will love her they way you love that other girl. You must be honest with your feelings! Call this wedding off and go find that girl you love. Tell that girl how you feel. Continuing with this wedding will be dishonest because you do not love you fiance the way a husband should love a wife. PLEASE do not become another static. If you continue, trust me, this marriage will end in divorce! You must be honest about your feelings. Your head will NEVER be able to make your heart love your fiance the way you should!
2006-08-03 04:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude... Your emotions do not control you - you control them. Get a grip! You're not some empty Coke bottle tossed in the river, just drifting aimelssly wherever the current takes you. You're on the rebound; it's natural to feel some attachment to the person you were in love with before. But why would you rush in like this and drag another person into your unresolved problems? Does SHE know you just came out of a relationship, and that you still are not over your ex? Or did you conviniently withheld some or all of this info from her? This is the kind of stuff you bring up with the person you're proposing to marry, not on Yahoo answers. The Bible won't help you, take charge of your own life and face what's dragging you down; figure it out for yourself before dragging another person down with you. You must, and will, get over your ex in time, these feelings tend to fade and disappear; but don't use another relationship as a crutch... It's a sure road to disaster and unhappiness for both of you.
2006-08-03 05:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to talk to your pastor or some other counselor. You have issues from your previous relationship that need to be resolved.
It sounds like you are blaming the failure of the relationship on money. Lots of people have issues with finances and remain together. There must be more to the break-up than that. Are you trying to forget the bad things and glorify the good things in the past relationship? I bet it wasn't really that good if you were only together for 3 years.
You really need to let go of the past and embrace the future. It would be best if you found someone to counsel you before you marry this girl. She deserves to be the focus of your emotions now.
2006-08-03 04:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to wait since you are in some pain over the last relationship.
Don't rush...talk to your fiancee and be honest. I don't think she'd want to enter into this marriage without knowing all your doubts and fears.
If your fiancee really loves you, then she'll understand that you need some time.
Don't compound your problems by creating a new one.
2006-08-03 04:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u better get your sh it together man, theres no reason to take down this gal your gonna get married to if you you can't commit to her and are not over your last hunny bunnie. Quit reading the dam bible! Read into your thoughts and what you want in life.Sounds like your only getting married is to try to forget your last squeeze. Ya better put her out to pasture if ya want any kind of relationship or life.
2006-08-03 04:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by wisrebel13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly for your childs sake if you are having any feelings for the mother of that child you should give it a go with that relationship. Your baby needs its father and if you can make it work your child will benefit.
Good luck!
2006-08-03 04:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married! Marriage is forever! If you still have strong feelings for someone else, than you aren't ready to get married.
2006-08-03 04:43:09 · answer #9 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be your self and be happy
2006-08-03 04:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by russellmcmillen1947 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋