My wife left me because of my irresposibilty and lack of compassion, and habit of doing dumb things. I went to physciatrist today and he told me I have a form of depression called Dysthimia which is a sort of depression disorder that can cause all teh above actions. She just left me what should I do. I am seeking treatment and talking about the reasons why I have this disorder (before her time). Should I ask her to forgive me and try to work it out or ahould I work it out than let her see the difference.
2006-08-03 04:24:59 · 13 answers · asked by Ron f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, puh-leese, you cannot blane Dysthimia for being irresponsible, uncompassionate and basically stupid. Trust me, I have been diagnosed with Dysthimia and ir causes NONE of those things. Do you know what "dysthimia" means in Latin ? Basically it means "bad mood." Dysthimia is a milder, chronic depression which lasts for two years or longer. It involves long-term, chronic symptoms that do not completely disable, but keep you from functioning at "full steam" or from feeling good. Some people with Disthymia may not even realize that they are depressed.
A mild anti-depressant over a short period of time (a year or two) along with some psychological counseling should be able to put you back on track. Part of what you must do as part of your own rehabilitation is some serious introspection and that will include taking responsibility for how you have acted in the past. (Quite honestly, the "reasons" you have this - your past - is pretty inconsequential. You might want to understand your past, but it is your future that is at stake. And a serious dose of behavior modification is in your future if you want to become a valued member of the human race.)
You can acknowledge that you have chosen to be irresponsible and you can choose to stop being irresponsible. You can accept and acknowledge that you have been uncaring and uncompassionate and then you can start putting other human being first each and every time until you learn true compassion. You can STOP and THINK about what you do and say and the consequences which could take place before you act or open your mouth and perhaps you will begin to cease doing "stupid" things.
And you need to leave your wife out of this. You need to be a whole, healed, and full person who is happy with himself before you even think of trying to bring her back into your life and getting back into hers.
2006-08-03 04:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I would let her know that you are seeking help for your depression and that some of your actions have been an effect of that disorder, see what she says. You have to give her the chance to decide if she wants to work it out as well. Let her know that you would like to work things out and see how she feels about that. Good luck.
2006-08-03 11:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by manderin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good that you are seeking treatment. Go ahead and inform her that you seeking treatment. If you two do decide to try and work things out, you both need counseling. While you have a diagnosis now, it still doesn't erase the hurt. She also needs to be educated on your diagnosis, so she can learn how to deal and cope with it as well.
2006-08-03 11:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't complicate your progress by trying to prove something to her, it's good that you know what you've done wrong. I would write a letter or if you feel comfortable talk to her and tell her you realized where you messed up and your sorry and your working on it for you and when you feel that you have accomplished your goal you'd like for her to give you another chance. Ask her to wait for you to make the change that is long over due. If she isn't to fed up and loves you enough she'll wait for you but you have got to be serious and make sure that you first make the change for you and no one else. Take the time to get to know you better.
2006-08-03 11:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by LovetoLove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should ask for her forgiveness if you truly love her and want her to come back. The worst that can happen is that she doesn't come back... but then you need to just learn from it and don't make the same mistakes in the future. If you are getting treatment do it for yourself, if anything, and if she comes back... wonderful... if not, you still gained something. You can't control her but you can control yourself. Good luck.
2006-08-03 11:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by concerned 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. actions speak louder than words.
2. how long did she try to get along with you like this?
3. how many times did she try to get you to see how you treated her?
4. how blue in the face did she have to get BEFORE she left?
you should have thought about that earlier.
you only got help AFTER she left? you are PATHETIC!
maybe you should have listened to her while you had her.
you don't know what you have till it's gone. now she's gone.
now you will really see what depression is. hahahaha (laughing AT you)
2006-08-03 11:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to try and talk to her about it now. Don't give her a chance to find someone who will take advantage of her being vulnerable because of her breakup with you. Ask her if she's willing to give you a chance to work on this with the doctor and see how well things will change before giving up on your marriage.
2006-08-03 11:35:23 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means inform her of the diagnosis. However, don't expect her to come running back for another try. Sometimes feelings are worn away and destroyed and cannot be recovered.
2006-08-03 11:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know what the doctor says, but tell you want to stay seperated until you get things under control...you will need her support but you still need to work on yourself, she will see the difference...give it time...Good Luck
2006-08-03 11:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are getting help and you are sorry for teverything u did and if she hasnt divorced u it will be easier but u can always get a person back! Good luck
2006-08-03 11:40:57 · answer #10 · answered by Jenna H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋