I need help moving on.....?

Question

I know this is a hard question, but if anyone can offer any advice, I will be grateful. I am with someone that I know is bad for me and that does not make me happy. I love him tho, very deeply, but I do not see a positive future AT ALL. I have tried to move on, break up, but every time he gets me by my heart strings and I take him back.......how do I stop the circles and just move on? I do miss him when we are apart, but I also feel free......I know that we are not good for each other and its not healthy, but I just cannot seem to break away......has anyone else been successful at getting away from someone you love, but you know its toxic?

Answer 1

The only way you will ever be able to move on is to let yourself realize that what you think is love is really something else. From your words, it sounds as though he knows how to manipulate you through your sensitivity and feelings. You seem to feel as though he has some right to do that and you have some obligation to be manipulated. That is as far from love as anything gets.

If/when you can convince yourself that you have a voice and it deserves to be heard and heeded in your relationship, then you will see if real love exists. If it doesn't, breaking away will be much easier.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Start thinking with you head and not you heart. Intellectually, you seem very aware of what is going on. You seem very aware that this guy is not good for you and you feel more alive when you are not with him. Your feelings for him are strong but at this time, you have to make a conscious decision. You have to make a pact with yourself that you will not go back to him no matter what. You have to understand that you will be tempted to go back. When you are tempted, that is when your brain should kick in. Your brain should tell you that you are doing the right thing by staying away from him.

Break up with him and cut all ties; it will be easier this way. Do not entertain temptation. Don’t call him and don’t accept his calls. Find something positive to immerse yourself in. Do things that bring you joy; help out the need; whatever you do, don’t feel sorry for him or sorry for yourself.

When you do this, you will have saved your life of many more months wasted in a bad relationship. If you stay with him, you are cutting off you chances of meeting someone who is really worthy of your love and who will give you a great relationship. Stop torturing yourself.

Answer 3

What you should do is. Tell him it is not gonna work out. Then if he gives you a hard time and trys to get you back you need to be stronge and say no. Go on vacation the week you break up with him and take ur best friend. but dont bring ur cell phones because he would call you and that would mess things up. while on vactions relax, flirt, and be happy. that way you can clear ur head of him.

Answer 4

6 years ago i was in a relationship almost similar to yours and it was very hard for me to break away as she kept getting me by the heart strings and i would find myself going back to her.The final breakaway point for me was when I actually packed up my things and walked out the door and had absolutely no contact with her all my contact with my son was done through the local police station and that made things easier for me.If you really want to break away and start fresh don't take any pictures that remind you of him or anything that may remind you of him and don't look back don't even think of talking to him as your heart strings will draw you back in time and time again.it took me a year to find the girl i am with now and I would never leave her for all the women in the world.So there is life after such a bad experience you just have to be able to get out and start all over again.

Answer 5

I think that a good thing to do is to focus on other things.. also, you have to find the strenght to not let yourself get carried away over and over, determine yourself to break up and as hard as it may seem stay focused on the bad things, remember why you can't be with him and force yourself to not go back.

If nothing else works.. break up then move to India =P

Answer 6

u didn't mention whether he love u or not and u are not specific why the relationship is unhealthy, IS HE PART OF UR BLOOD. If u rethink and find out that u can not go on, then off Ur self and keep going on but is going to be tough unless u find someone whom u love and who love u.

Answer 7

see if u realy love him n he also then there is no question aries of break away take ur time n understand eachother deeply n still u cant take any decission then better to keep ur realtion only of friendship as i can suggest u only if u hav any doubt then plz IM me i will guide u , urs well wishers

Answer 8

hiya hun i no exactly how you feel i was like that with my ex bf and i still had alot of feelings for him when i broke up with him and i didnt get over him for ages but he moved on and i found somebody else to. we sed we wud stay in touch with each other but we never see each other now. so maybe you shud try being mates for abit and then see how things go from there good luck hun lov gem xxxx

Answer 9

you need to sit alone and write down a list of good things about this guy and then compare them with a list of things you do not like about him,write down what makes you feel good and see if he is included in your fun times.tell him how you feel,if he cares he will let you go.be strong and walk away.good look.

Answer 10

yeah, this is a hard one, the best thing though is to find something interesting to do before you try and move on, then gradually you will find yourself distancing yourself making the total departure easier... next problem is to find that interesting and time consuming thing!