Do you think I should keep fighting for my marriage?

Question

OF 22 YEARS OR JUST COUNT MY LOSSES AND LEAVE?
I HAVE GOOD REASONS TO BELIEVE SHE IS TRYING TO CHEAT.

Answer 1

Try to bring some spark into your relationship by doing different and fun things, be more romantic, if that doesn't work then you may need some time apart. 22 years is a long time and people do get bored with the same old routine. Get out of the routine and bring her some excitement cause that is what she is looking for. Ask her honestly without judgement what exactly is going on. Don't accuse her, just accept her answer, it may be a lie, but if you show her that your interest in a happy marraige she will respect you more. Get off your duff and have fun.

Answer 2

There's no such thing as trying to cheat, either you do or don't. So, if you suspect this then something has happened, because you are the only one who would know her well enough. Go to your wife and ask her if there's anything she's missing at this point that you can provide to spice up your marriage. This question should give you the answer you are looking for by her expression if nothing else. Communications is extremely important in a relationship especially when they have been fortunate enough to last as long as yours. It may seem hard to talk to each other after all these years, but think of the alternative if you don't. (separation or divorce) Make an effort if you really want to make sure that everything in your power has been done to save the marriage.

Answer 3

22 years is a long time and a lot of living, sharing, and loving to just walk away from. You asked if you should keep fighting, but I don't know what you have done or how long this has been going on. You need to have a long serious talk with you wife. Find out and discuss what you both want. Then if you cant come to a solution you need to walk away. I am sorry you are going through this, I hope you find your answers. Good luck!

Answer 4

Ask her if she would rather you and her be swingers? and go from there if she says no tell her you would rather paly together then behind one anothers backs b/c if you found out she were doing it behind your back you would rather end the marriage and let her go on with her life, if she says yes tell her you'll see what you can do to make that happen it may be all you need to lit that spark in your lives again and to be able to appreciate one another again. This way you will also be able to see where she is coming from and what she is needing if it is a question of just wanted some strange or if she needs a hole new relationship with someone else, you will be able to tell if she still loves you or if she no longer does. Sounds crazy but it is true - unconditional love I say, share all, love all, be hoest and true!

Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 5

If you have young children then you should stay at home. If they are grown up then you should look at the costs of divorce. They are the cost of sharing the pension plan, division of the house etc. A lawyer can help you with the associated costs of the divorce. If she is cheating then you have very little room to decide. Either you suck the rotten egg and let her cheat hoping for the best or you look into the mirror and decide who and what you are. By then you'll know what to do.

Check out the following website. It can also anser many of your questions better than I can.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 6

Hi sweetie, if your not happy than I say get out and live the rest of your life the way that you want. Why waste anymore time on something that isn't working. There is a huge universe of people for you to discover, you should do what you think will make you happiest. Besides if she thinks that you are actually leaving and not putting up with her crap anymore maybe she will start acting the way she should. Maybe she will realize that she is losing the best thing in her life.Good Luck and keep me posted. [e-mail]

Answer 7

If your instinct tells you that she may be having an affair, follow it. It is probably right. It is time to get your evidence(google phone #'s you don't know, emails, talk to her friends) and then when you have it all together or catch her in the act, show her what you have found. I bet she will tell you the truth.
You need to decide if you really want to know. If she is, you need to find out what is wrong that you aren't giving her in your marriage and if you both want to stay married. Infidelity is a marriage buster for sure, but if you both want to work it out, it can be accomplished with hard work and lots of forgiveness.
I know of a really good site for helping with this:

Answer 8

Try and go the distance...fight to the end...do all you can...I was in the same boat, @ 22 years...I could see the writing on the wall, didn't think it meant she would cross that line, but that she was headed in that direction...The one thing I couldn't do was allow her to recognize how much she was loved by me...its what she needed to know but could not see it within me...My actions, my words for the last year of my marriage went unheard and unrecognized...she did cross that line...and because I felt I fought the fight ...losing by decision was lessened by the effort and I was able to walk away to choose my battles elsewhere...good luck.

Answer 9

Don't jump the gun, and you end up being wrong. Are you really willing to throw away 22 years off of a hunch? Find out if she's really cheating first, then take it from there.

Answer 10

after 22 years I say that you have nothing to prove and your kids are probably grown and out of the house, so give your self and her another oportunity in life and in love by sppliting.

Between trying to cheat and cheating is a big diference. is this just part of your middle life crises and you trying to justify your need for younger women?

Think about it. Good luck