Is it ever OK to hook up with someone who admits to being abusive, but claims that they have changed?

Answer 1

No. Observe them for a long time with other people & situations. You can better judge their ability to handle their temper if you take time and don't rush into anything. Having the maturity to control one's temper in life is paramount. I'll bet you see this person hasn't changed all that much and they have pent up rage.

Answer 2

That's pretty risky, most abusers say that but never seek counselling, and are alone because of past abusive behaviour. A little bit of counselling does not remove abuse, it takes a lot of work to get to the root of it. How long they have been abusive, and whether or not he was raised in that type of environment makes a big difference. To say that they have changed is a cop out, how often he must have said that in the past, only he knows this secret, and will not share that dark side. His last victim only knows, and where are they now...probably hiding as far away as they can. Who knows the real nightmare, if any. He doesn't need girlfriends he needs counselling! Be very careful, these type of people always seem to know who to look for, and usually spot the very soft and kind hearted ones, therefore if it applies to you...don't mess with it, find someone more stable. That is my opinion, but the choice is still yours. Hope that was helpful, good luck in your decision!

Answer 3

Some people can change. I really believe that. That is a very difficult thing to change, so I'd say it's okay until the first time they abuse you.

Then it's the door, promises or no.

I think everyone should get a chance. But then you have to start worrying about whether they will change when kids come along or if they will teach your kids to be abusive. I'd say, it's not the best foundation for a relationship, changed or not.

Answer 4

a hook up is for a night right? chances are the person wont start right off with the abuse, so it is probably safe. Of course they havent changed, so they are liars too, and dont deserve to be treated like humans and get a hook up, there are lots of guys out there who are not abusive and looking for a good relationship

Answer 5

HI, I know most will say NO
But...
I have seen somebody change and to be honest would the abuser hoping to wine and dine you admit to being like this?

People can change, and those who do aren't usually afraid of admitting to it, they regret it and learned by it and moved on with hope. Sounds like somebody wants a break in life by walking the path by being honest with himself by being honest with you.

Life is all about taking chances, do you think he is worth taking the chance in seeing if he is a new man to what he was?

BUt saying that, I believed somebody wouldn't abuse me, after seeing them abuse somebody else, it took him a long time to get there and most of his changing was done when we finally split up-16 years
I took the chance, but he is where your guy is. My ex would make his next woman a great partner, he and I are great friends,so from experience, do what YOU think is right!

Answer 6

... It just shows how desperate that person is.

for the most part it isnt a.. good idea to.. neccisarily go near someone who will abuse you because as ignorance isnt an exscuise anyway..

after that.. you just... got nothin.

Though if your willing to take a chance.. then sure.. but.. i mean this person better be a reasonable.. and not prone to exstremes.. as often exsibited by abusive relationships.

Play it by ear but for gods sake youve been warned.

Answer 7

gurl r u crazy? u wana b abused. end it w/ him ur gona regret it when it starts. trust me on this one.

Answer 8

no not at all they could be anyone! if you do make sure that you take someone with you!

Answer 9

i wouldnt take the chance

Answer 10

YEAH IF YOU WANT TO GET BEAT UP