my boyfriend has a babymother they have broken up for a while now. She has not got a job and she has no family over here she is from brazil and their child is with her parents back home. so therefore my boyfriend has to pay her rent and give her money to survive. then she said she will make it easier for him and she will go back home. but when she gets home she wants him to pay £100 per month for her studies. am i wrong in saying his only obligation is the chid not her i want it to stop . what do you think?
2006-08-03 02:11:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he also has to send £70per month to his child in brazil. he feels responsible for his babymother because he brougt her to the UK. how can i just tell him to stop when she has no source of income
2006-08-03 02:23:53 · update #1
by the way we are planning on getting married
2006-08-03 02:36:12 · update #2
If the baby is not even in this country, they he does not owe her a penny. He should not pay anything.
If he really wants to do something, then he should send money back to the child's grandparents in Brazil for the baby.
2006-08-03 02:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by OriginalBubble 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hundred pounds per month is not much, if this helps the babymother to prepare a good future. If she´ll be finished with her studies then she can help to finance the child. Babyfather has then lesser obligation or even need not more to support the child financially if babymother earns good.
or consider it as an aide to a third-world-country- child.
2006-08-03 02:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by stroby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to pis$ off!! Shes treating him like an idiot and just milking him for money.
It would be different if the baby was in the same country as your boyfriend or if he had access to see the child but to pay for her studies....naah
Shes walking all ova him, he has to put his foot down, now!
Why not set up a bank account for the baby, in your boyfriends name-at least once the ex has started trying to tell the child that the father wouldnt pay towards the upbringing of the kid, you can show how you have saved for the child-u just didnt see why u should pay for the mothers schooling!
Good luck!!xx
2006-08-03 02:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by splight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem like he's obligated to her and not the baby, where as it should be the other way around. You should let him know that his only responsibility is his child and not the mother of the child. He must really care about her if he's doing all this....maybe you should sit him down and talk to him about this situation, it seems kinda serious when a child's involved, and he's doing more for the mother and not the child...
2006-08-03 02:24:14 · answer #4 · answered by SuzzyLou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His only "legal" obligation is to his child, sure...but there is a school of thought that suggests that if your baby's mother/father collapses then the child is likewise harmed. Maybe he feels a sense of duty along this order. His sense of responsibility is admirable, if a bit excessive; there is probably a cultural basis for this, too that you are unfamiliar with. It is not likely to stop because you protest, and you will likely alienate yourself in the process. Try instead to understand where he's coming from and support his efforts. Maybe then he will eventually see the wisdom of tapering his benevolence down some as her situation improves.
2006-08-03 02:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm wondering if he should have to pay anything, since he does not get to see the child, as he or she is in another country. why should he pay for his ex's rent if they are no longer together, and she does not have the child with her? i think he needs to see a lawyer. i think he should just start putting money in the bank for when his child comes of college age, and then pay the tuition directly himself, requiring receipts from the college, and updates on how his child is doing. i smell a con game going on here. if she dosn't have a child to care for, she should be working to pay her own way in life. this makes me wonder if she dosn't have other children by other men that send her parents money, and who also give her money to live on. there is no way to know if the child is being cared for when it is in another country. they could be blowing the money on themselves. he should also demand a paternity test.
2006-08-03 02:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Debi K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He only has obligation to the child!
Payments for the child are ok but the mother needs to deal with it and sort things out for herself.
Tell him to tell her to get lost, he owes her nothing but the birth of his child.
- Did she have a baby just so she could keep a hold on him both emotionally AND FINANCIALLY!
2006-08-03 03:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by cljp2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should only be paying for the child and not the mother. The child wont even be getting any of the money.
2006-08-03 02:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by Claire B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends if he is paying anything else towards the child. I think £100 a week is fair enough and it is up to her what she puts it on as long as the child is cared for.
2006-08-03 02:17:06 · answer #9 · answered by ange1magik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he should not be payin for the mother. the mother is NOT his responsibility. if he really wants to make sure his child is taken care of then he should send the money to the grandparents and not the mother. i would flip if my fiance gave his daughter's mother money cause she wouldn't get off her lazy a.ss and get a job
2006-08-03 02:28:56 · answer #10 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋