Urrrrggh-I feel so ill! Pregnancy is hard. Is it worth it? Help!?

Question

It's probably worry too because I am the "earner" in the relationship-my boyfriends mum died recently and he is a musician so doesn't work.....I have tried to talk to him about this and he thinks I am whining and to "trust him-stop worrying" -I am worrying-it's scary!! Money is an issue-been in my job 4 months-they might sack me when they find out I am pregnant.
I know my man seems like a nightmare-he can be stubborn but he is great with kids and is willing to be a bit of "house husband"!

Thanks you guys-but whatever I say -he will do whatever he thinks is right. He says not to worry and he will be there forever-thats great but dude...get a job!!!

Answer 1

he should be working, especially now!!! he should do anything on the side until his music takes off. its only fair.

Answer 2

OK, which one is working and which one is staying home caring for the baby is not important, when a woman can earn more money or has a better job or like her job, there is no problem.
Supporting a man because he is a musician and you don't have kids yet.. well.. its a bit different.
Being a musician is not a job, its a hobby and every musician I know has a normal job to live from, unless they play in the Rolling Stones or whatever..
When they fire you at work, because of being pregnant is discrimination and I don't know about where you life, but here its illegal. You can go to court and the company has to pay you a lot of money.
I can't help you stop worrying, starting a family is a decision for life and yes, one should think a lot with whom one is starting a family.

Answer 3

Okay, first things first, yes, a prenancy is worth it because in the end you wind up with a child, a wonderful child that has a lot of you in it.

Secondly, yes, your boyfriend should make an active effort to at least get a temporary job during the pregnancy, just because you will want the money for the baby. Babies aren't cheap.

If he's a musician, and good with kids, you might guide him to consider trying to work up a lesson plan and then giving private lessons on his instrument of choice. It's a job that pays well and allows him to stay home, depending on how he sets up.

You want to start saving right away for the baby. If you see an unnecessary expense, try and reduce it-however, don't get rid of all unnecessary expenses, because many times they provide the fun parts of life, and you need that stress reliever. And I'm sure that your husband needs the stress reliever too, as his mum's death might be affecting him in unseen ways.

Good luck! Keep your chin up and I'm sure you'll both do fine!

Answer 4

Ok let me tell you- I have a 6 months old and I hated being pregnant. There wasnt anything good about it except feeling the baby move. That is an awesome feeling. I was in pain from week 1 until 8 weeks after the baby came. But to answer your question IT IS SO WORTH IT! Hopfully everything will get better with you and your boyfriend. I know my husband told me how he was going to get up with the baby at night and all that, but when it came time for him to do it, it didn't happen. Only because he didn't know what to do or how to do it. So I suggest that when you are feeding the baby and holding the baby, show him how exactly your doing it so he will know when your not around. Trust me - Men don't get the natural instincts that women get. They have to be taught. But after about 3 months, my husband was great with our baby and still is. I have to say that the first 3 months were the hardest. Because babies have gas and they aren't sure what's going on around them and they cry a lot. If you can make it past 3 months it's smooth sailing up until 6 months. I say 6 months because that is how old our son is. But I'm sure there will be bad times and good times from here on out!.

But for me to have hated being pregnant, it didn't stop me from doing it again. I am 6 weeks pregnant with #2, So remember things could be worse. Not that this is a bad thing, but it was very unexpected.

Good luck with everything!
Kassie

Answer 5

First, your job can't fire you because of pregnancy. There are laws against it. If the do you should be able to take them to court. You might not want to go through the hastle but you could.

Money will always be an issue unless your a millionaire and then the issue doesn't go away it just changes some.

To some degree your boyfriend is partially right. Don't worry. But the part I think he may be missing is... Rather than worrying start to sit down and plan things out now. Make a budget, figure out where the money is going to go, if it's not enough then start to plan out ways to earn more or pay less.

As to is it worth it. For me I can't talk to the pregnancy part but for having a son, it has been a resounding yes all the work is worth it. But again good planning makes things easier later. Talk things through now as to how the child is going to be raised. Are you the same religion if now who's will you follow? Answer that now. In the long run who is going to be the bread winner? Make sure your ok with that. Where do you want to live, what schools do you want your child to go to. It sounds crazy but START THE COLLEGE FUND NOW. A little put aside each pay check can save you thousands later on along with the grief of OH MY WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TO PAY FOR THIS. Discuss now who is going to be the disiplinarian and make a pact that one will NOT override what the other has said without first talking to the other.

But having a child is a wonderful thing. Do it right and you get to shape and create a whole new life that can impress and surprize you on a daily basis. But always remember they are like sponges... Put them in a health nurturing environment and that's what they will take in. Put them in a negitive environment and guess what... that's what they are going to take in.

Best wishes with your pregnancy and I hope your child is health and happy.

Answer 6

They can't fire you because you are pregnant, but they can make life unpleasant. Either way, there is no reason your musician boyfriend can not get at least a part time job to help bring in some money during and right after your pregnancy. You have every right to worry, having a baby is expensive and will only get more so. It is great he is willing to help oout by being the caregiver of the baby once you return to work, but just make sure you are taking care of yourself right now too.

Answer 7

He should get a job now even if it isn't a job that he wants to do.He's got stop being so selfish and take some of the pressure off you.He can still do his music as a hobby.As for you getting the sack because you are pregnant,they can't do it.As you've been working for them for 4 months now your probation period will be over so they will now have to give you a reason to sack you.They may give another reason for letting you go but if you think that it may be because you are pregnant then you can take them to court.Employers are not allowed to sack you because you are pregnant.
Being pregnant is scary and of course you are going to worry but do try to relax.Take some time out,have a nice long soak in the bath and get your boyfriend to give you a massage,you don't get much time to do this when the baby arrives.

Answer 8

Pregnancy and delivery are hard. But when you look in your baby's eyes for the first time, you will forget all that went before.

If you boyfriend is depressed over his mothers death, he may need to get some help. Just because he is a musician is no reason he can't work. Lots of people struggling in the arts hold down an array of jobs until the "make it".

Answer 9

Congratulations mom-to-be! Get used to worrying for the rest of your life now... that's what parenthood is all about. There is never enough time, money, or sleep. Is it worth it? You bet it is! I would do it all over again. My kids are nearly grown now, but the love you will come to know is incredibly powerful (which is why you're going to be worrying about everything that concerns your baby from now until the end of time!). So, enjoy every minute (including all the worrying). It really is going to be all ok (even if you end up kicking your lazy musician boyfriend out). :-)

Answer 10

a house husband??? wat the hell is that your man should give up the dream life and get a real job a baby is a lot of responsibility and money he thinks he can take care of the baby and be a house husband suppose your new job fires you ( and they can) that means you will be out of a job as well as him and babies have needs that have to be met immediately so what will happen when the savings run out he needs to start looking for a job now so that by the time you are home money will be coming in and you need to sit and talk to your boss to see if there are any benefits or anything that you are entitled to. AND PREGNANCY IS DEFINITELY WORTH IT!!!!!

Answer 11

I think it is reasonable for you to think about how you are going to pay your bills and take care of yourself and two other people (husband and child). Thinking up a backup plan in case you do lose your job is prudent. It sounds like your boyfriend relies on you to be the plan and the backup plan. Seriously, does he have any source of income? He becomes your dependent and your responsibility when he stays home to take care of the child. Put extra money away while you are still working. Cutting back on meals out is usually enough to free up some $ to save. Do you have a balanced monthly budget? Do you know how your money is spent? Are you living within your means? Do you know that diapers and formula can add up to $600 per month?