what can i do?

Question

I have been married 6 years with two children.The problem is latley my husband and i have been arguing constantly.He is getting very nasty.I have no urge for sex either.Last night he was so nasty to me because i burnt some rice while i was doing something with the baby and i forgot he was on the computer as always.I was called every name in the book and told to get the F out of HIS house and that my IQ was that of a piss ant.He also told me when i asked if thats what he wanted that no one else would ever want me and that he would never pay me child support i would never see a dime but then he said if i left him he would kill me and my whole family.I dont understand.I ahve tryed talking to him and we dont have the money for councelling.I want this to work but im getting tired of feeling like crap and always being bashed.Can you guys give me suggestions because honestly i am starting to get scared with his temper and things he says he will do.

Answer 1

You need to go to a womans shelter before you end up dead in front of your kids.

Answer 2

Do you love your children? Do you want to protect them and give them a safe & healthy environment? Then get the hell out of there now! I agree with the post in which he will not change until you leave! Staying there is not helping the situation or working on the marriage...it is fueling the fire and from what I gather you don't know how far his temper will go. Then again, you can always wait until he beats you within an inch of your life and you are laying in a hospital somewhere with your kids in foster care...and don't think for a minute that this can't happen...it can!

Answer 3

I was going thhrough difficult times too. The difference was I nevr answered back, but sometimes if I did my spouse would hit me.
I was fed up of the abuse and finally called 911 one day. My sugestion is try to stop the abuse by first killing him with kindness. I know it is difficult with the baby, but try talking it out and reasoning it with him. Don't answer back or hurt him. Try to get some help with the baby. Join a mommy and me group, you will find a lot of support there. Just be happy you have a new baby.

Take care, and email me if you need help. All the best.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are in an extremely abusive relationship. If you are truly concerned for your safety, then please take you and the kids to some help.

You indicate that you do not have the funds for counseling, then find a church, go to several churches and find one that can help you and your children.

Don't wait until something physical happens, take control of your life and protect yourself and your kids!!!

Based on what you have stated, your husband needs some serious help (Counseling, Therapy, etc...)

This does not mean your relationship or your marriage is over, but it sounds like it needs a serious TIMEOUT and some strong reevaluation.

You may have to set up a very legal trail, by getting the police involved. They may not do anything, but a paper trail in the event that he does anything against you or your family can only help to catch him, should he break any laws.

Ultimately, you have to rescure yourself and protect your children.

I know it's a scary world, but there are a multitude of organizations set up specifically to assist you in this hour of need.

Again talk to Churches, talk to police...heck grab your kids and move to another city, another state...whatever it takes so that you can breath again and your children can be safe.

Answer 5

Miss i suggest u to find a good job.If he asks for the reason u say that u want to help him and the childrens.When a women earns the wonderful part is that she gets the respect and she can satisfy some of the childrens wants without consulting her husbands opinion.
The important part is when u earn u come to know various people, u become strong . Even after this u feel that he illtreats u
just divorse him and if he tries to blackmail u ,just record his words in a tape without his knowldge and hand it to FBI.This will help u
Take care
byeee

Answer 6

You need support and now. Especially having young children in the house. Many counselors/psychologists have sliding scales for fees based on your income. You may even find free services in a community clinic or a program for abused women. You are being emotionally abused. A lawyer would assist you in getting what you need from your husband in terms of support, etc. That's what courts are for. If he is threatening your life, seek immediate assistance from police/shelter. Do what you need to do for yourself and your children. Be careful. Don't put up with this behavior much longer. It could turn on you at any time and have dire consequences. For you and/or your children.

Answer 7

Honey ,every woman has a woman's intuition!!! My advice to you would be to use it!!!! If your mind is telling you that its time to go then sweetheart move on!!! A lot of times we as women want to hold on and make things work ,when actually deep down inside we know that in the end ,someone is going to end up seriously hurt!!!! I suggest to you to make a police report concerning the threats on you and your family!!! And stack up as much cash as you can to get you and the baby out of this relationship asap!!! You really don't need cash to get away from him you can go to any local women's shelter for abused women!!! If you are truly scared like you say you are,then be scared enough for you and your child to seek safety before its to late!!!! Trust me you cant stay in a relationship and make it work,when the other person has no intentions but to continue to make your life a living Hell!!!! God Bless you and I will be praying for you!!!!

Answer 8

honey,
This is emotional abuse, you are much better than that. Start making a plan to leave (unless he hits you, then just leave) Start stashing all the money you can, Take things out of the house that you will need, have a yard sale while he is at work, etc...

When you have what you need, Get you and your kids the hell out of that house and as far away from that jerk as possible.

Answer 9

vsecrets24 is right i would go to a womens shelter. I'm sorry but things are not going to get any better, it sounds to me you are to frightened to sit down and talk to him about what is going on, and even if you did i don't think he would listen to a word you would say. He is the one with the IQ of a piss ant, if he thinks that he won't pay child support if you leave him Haa haaa, yeah he will even if he doesn't want to. You can try and salvage this marriage but i wouldn't risk my life or that of my kids. If he becomes more violent, or threatens to hurt you then i would consider a divorce and get a restraining order against him. Please think of not only you but your kids, is this the example you want them to learn. If you have a little boy do you want him to think that it is OK to be just like his dad because his mom put up with it, so in his head that's the way boys should be. And if you have a little girl do you want her to go thru what you are going thru and be miserable because she thinks she has to put up with it and be miserable because mom put up with it, so should she. Please leave him for your and your kids sake. I wish you all the best of luck, and will pray for you and your kids. :)
XOXOXOX

Answer 10

You need to wait until he goes to work, and leave with the children. Either find somewhere to put your things or just get the essentials and get out. You need to get a restraining order and leave with your children. I wouldn't normally share this, but if you want to talk to someone who has gone through that please let me set up a conference with my mother. She went through that for 2 years and left and then came back to being abused just so my sister and I had a father around even though she felt like crap all of the time. I hope this helps and please contact me and I can set you up so you can talk to my mom.

Answer 11

I would like for you to contact your local law enforcement agency and they will be able to provide you with spouse abuse numbers who will be able to tell you the right steps to take. Your situation will only get worse, not better. How do you talk to someone you LOVE like that? You need to decide for yourself what you want out of life and if your husband will help you or hinder you. Please don't stay in an abusive relationship or sacrifice your happiness for anyone Else's sake, including your children's. Your children will grow up thinking his behavior is okay and it's not!!! Think about what you need in a relationship and then take the right steps to make yourself happy. You deserve it and its not your fault your husband is an ***. Good luck.