How long have you been married and what have been your highs and lows ?

Question

Are we really married for life anymore ? Here in the UK we have a very high divorce rate.
What have your experiences being of being married ? What would you advice a young couple considering marriage ?

Answer 1

I have been married for 3 years. All I can say is make sure he treats you right.

Answer 2

Were coming up to our 22nd anniversary and would not change a second of our married life for all the money in the world, I think today people just walk away from marriage far too easily and quickly, you need to be totally honest with each other and always find time each day to sit and talk to each other, never ever go to sleep on an argument, even if your not to blame say sorry, never talk about private things between the two of you to anyone else, tell each other several times a day how much you love each other and mean it, if you don't say it like you mean it then its not the right relationship for you, a huge cuddle and hug everyday is a necessity, trust, honestly, love and friendship are also necessities, but you have to have the rain to appreciate the sunshine and its the sun as well as the rain that makes rainbows,

Answer 3

We've been married about 9 years + just recently had a baby. That has been the high point for us, along with the low point too. Firstly for this major event to share which is like no other. The low aspects are new unforeseen emotions associated with having children + perhaps greater scrutiny of your relationship when you were probably just coasting before.

Lack of comms can create problems, so this is key. Openness and honesty.

Other things important to going the distance is not taking each other for granted.

Have common interests but seperate ones too so you don't loose your own identity

Marriage can be great but it does require investment of effort to keep the feeling fresh and happy. Worth the effort I'd say. Perhaps we today have a greater expectation from each other than in previous generations. Remember your spouse can only offer so much (we may expect them in our marriage to be friend, lover, confident, consellor, financial consultant, our rock etc), and sometimes we fail. We are none of us perfect but the journey of trying and being there for each other makes for a marriage.

Answer 4

I have been married 13 years now!!! Its been some really great times and there has been some really bad times!!!! Over all the good outweighs the bad!!!! My advice for young couples considering marriage would be, When you take those vows for better or worse somethings are going to come up in your marriage that's going to make you want instantly out!!!! in those times pray and ask God to give you strength!!! When the vows say for richer or poorer,Think!!! there is really no job stability these days!!! When that man or woman is no longer bringing home the bacon ,can you deal with that? Marriage is what you make it!!! There's going to be many wonderful memories and many struggles and hard times as well but just learn to lean on each other and have strength to endure!!!And I guarantee you will make it a marriage till death do you part!!!

Answer 5

I have been married for a little over 1 year now. I really enjoy marriage and all that in entails. You could still say that I am in the honeymoon phase of marriage, however, I have been with my now husband for almost 9 years...based on that you would know that the honeymoon phase is over. The highlights of our relationship are our open communication, we are very expressive with our thoughts, however we are opposite in some ways. I am much of a reactor...I speak without thinking, and my husband is the thinker, so he balances me out. We enjoy similar activities, and we spend our time together staying very active and having fun. We spend lots of time with our friends, and we have lives outside of our marriage. We still have girls night and guys night out. And the highest highs of our marriage have come at those times when we made major accomplishments together: including selling a house, buying a new home, job promotions, etc. Marriage is really what you make of it. I suggest never getting too comfortable, meaning that life becomes so routine it is boring, and you have no new experiences to share with one another. The lowest lows of our marriage have come at times when our family members have been ill. However, these situations have brought us closer together as a couple, because we use each other to cope. All that I can say is be wise about who you marry, make sure you know them well. My husband and i did not live together before we were married, and this also worked out well for us, because it made married life even more exciting and new. I also suggest discussing all major views before you get married to make sure you are on the same page: financial issues, debt, children, etc. Hope this helps

Answer 6

I do think marriage is for life still, but we are more selfish these days and not willing to sacrifice. Being married is a decision. To love someone is an action and that means that you aren't just getting married due to an emotion you are feeling. Emotions change, promises do not. Your vows are your word. If you decide two years down the road that you just can't handle it - tough. Divorce should be reserved for the abused and cheated on, not for those that are tired of who they married or want something better.

Not everyone should get married. If your plan for your life doesn't involve compromise and sacrifice, then don't get married. The bottom line is that being married means that your first priority is someone else. If you aren't ready to swallow that pill, then don't get married.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Married for 21 years next Tuesday, still have not a clue what I am doing, all I know is I am crazy, say and do the weirdest things, have not grown up yet, but it seems to work. The highs was when our daughter was born, fifteen yrs ago, lows was when after that I found out I could not have any more kids. The only thing I can say, it is work in progress even after 21 yrs good luck!

Answer 8

Honesty is the most important thing in a marriage and communication. I have been married 28 years and I envy other couples that seem to be best friends. My husband & I pretty much just tolerate each other. He is an alcoholic and I should have left him years ago and didnt. I believe in the union of marriage. Just be sure that you know the person very well that you are marrying.

Answer 9

5 1/2 years.

I believe in "for life" marriages, but then in some cases... they are better off getting divorced b/c the marriage was pretty much doomed from the beginning. I think the divorce rate is getting high everywhere! It' pretty sad, but it's amazing when I see old-old couples still lovey-dovey. My experiences haven't been so great. We have our good times, but I think in my case the bad outweigh the good. You just really have to be with the right person to have the marriage really work. Just make sure you both are very willing to compromise in every situation you'll encounter. Marriage gets really rough sometimes (especially when it comes to finances-- one of the major reasons why couples divorce), but you both have to have faith in each other and be one another's backbone. Like my husband says: A husband is only as strong as his wife (and vice versa).

Answer 10

My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years now, we met and fell in love immediately and were married 1 month later. We have 4 wonderful children now. I think that the key to our marriage is we still date. Every week or 2 weeks we go out somewhere. We have had our ups and downs, he was in the military and gone a lot the first 10 years, and it was very hard. Good luck with your marriage!

Answer 11

We have been married since Dec 1962. Had a good & fun life until he had neck surgery. he take meds for mania, the Dr put him on steroids and he went into an awful mania spell. He's never been the same since. I always felt like doing things together and sharing together with a good home life was the key to a good marriage. We alays got up and ate breakfast and dinner together with our three girls. We've worked together in our own business. Alway got along good. We've traveled together all over the world.
Now nothing is right for him