The other day my friend started talking to me about this "thing" that she can't get out of her head and thats what's making her grades go down and stuff. She says stuff about her aunt who she lives with (her mother cant keep her) like say, she never wants to listen to me and i cant talk to her. She failed several subjects and she knows why, she says things like it feels like the only reason she's alive is to be yelled at and no one cares!
I told her I'd always be there for her and please she has to tell me whats wrong coz she knows! Damn, she was freakin crying, but she wont tell me anything!
I really want to help her.
Plus, im maybe moving to australia soon and i want to sort this out before then! I feel horrible i need to help!!! i cant stand seeing her like this! WHAT CAN I DO?
2006-08-03 00:08:54 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are already doing a great and amazingly helpful thing simply by being her friend.
Unfortunately, sometimes that isn't enough.
You need to talk to a trusted adult who is close enough to make observations for themselves: a teacher, councilor, maybe a nurse.
Now, be warned: she may take this as a betrayal at first. But be strong and brave. Her feelings of betrayal will pass and she will come to understand that you are helping her. Perhaps even saving her.
And saving her is the goal.
Good luck, best wishes, and have my gratitude for being such a good friend.
The Chronicler
2006-08-03 00:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by The Chronicler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, my name is chad, i am A minister, and i've deAlt with situAtions like this before so i got some experiAnce... i know how hArd this kinda thing can be, you need to tAke her out of her invironment, get her to A plAce where she cAn't run, be gentle with her and Assure her you love and Are concerned bout her. tell her you Are concerned for her and you are ready to go get her some help, but you don't wanna do that, tell her you wAnt to help her And the only way she is gonnA stop hAving this problem is if she tells you whAts goin on be pAtient, and loving, don't be AfrAid to put your Arm Around her, or hold her.. tell her you will make everything Alright. Asure her you can.. if she is persistent just tell her you got your wAys.. do everything you cAn to get it out of her, personally it sounds like sexuAl Abuse or rape to me. it can be very dangertous no mAtter what her problem is,
if you cAnnot get an answer out of her, then here is your lASst ditch effort.. by lAw, you Are required to tell the police, and then there will be an investigation... And they will find out.. use it As A lAst resort.. if she tells you then fine get her the help she needs.. if not then go to the cops.. i know its hArd.. i can't really help you more without some detAils, pleaSe feel free to email me stinger_449@yahoo.com or messAge me stinger_449 then i might be able to help you better... obviously a im would be better thAn an emAil.. but i will pray for her And you And the situAtion.. please forgive the caps locked A's this stupid comp is messed up
2006-08-03 07:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by stinger_449 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to show her that you are always there for her, and that you are not pushing her to say anything she doesn't want too. At the same time you should try talking to someone who can help you, maybe the councellor at your school, maybe your mother, and if you don't know anyone who can help try calling one of these help numbers. Even if your friend won't seek help for herself you can find people who can help her through you.
I once had a problem similar to yours, when I was in highschool a friend of mine told me she was bulimic, but she said she is bn\\not going to do anything about it and that she will never tell her mother. I talked to my mother, and had some councelling over the phone, and the important thing was that she knew I'm always there for her, and I was able to help her by talking to her and getting help from other people.
I know it turned out a little long, but I can really understand your problem and hope this helps.
Just remember the most important thing is for her to know you are always there for you, and she can tell you anything but doesn't have to say anything.
2006-08-03 07:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by nupi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend has been through alot in her life. This may be the reason she is having trouble with her grades. She needs medical attention. Encourage her to talk to her doctor, school nurse or have her welfare worker refer her to medical help. No one should have to shoulder such enormous problems and have it affect their future(her grades). You are a wonderful friend, but acknowledge that she needs more than a good friend. You are a good person.
2006-08-03 07:24:25 · answer #4 · answered by folklore 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you are there for her no matter what. Say that no thing is so horrible that she couldn't tell you when she feels like it.
You can make it easier for her by actually telling some really awful secret about yourself that you haven't dared to tell her before. This way she will understand that you trust her very much.
2006-08-03 07:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by BonAqua Identity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already done all you could. You told her that you will be there to support her, and to listen to her, if she wants to talk about the situation. The thing you have to keep in mind is that if a person refuses help, then it is out of your hands.
2006-08-03 07:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have already done alot by trying to see what is causing her concern. make her talk to someone experience for guidance, like your form teacher or to the school nurse. don't let her troubles get to your head!
it is very nice of you to help but you cannot do much if she cannot open up and speak with her aunt if she is causing her this depression. Don't let her troubles create problems for you.
2006-08-03 07:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all u can do is wait on her, too tell you, give her some time on her own... just be there when she need a helping hand and a crying shoulder..... also when u know theres a test vcoming up, study together, but make it interesting and fun for her...
2006-08-03 07:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by beautyprincess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you have to explain to her that being a true friend you are hurt to know all that shes going Thur and you want to help for which she has to tell you the problem.....get to know the truth and only then you can be helpful!!
2006-08-03 07:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend most of the time with her.just make her feel comfortable & then ask her abt her problem.make her understand u do really care for her.May then she will be able to share her problem.All the best
2006-08-03 07:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by sunil_frn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋