I'm not happy with my boyfriend... Help required?

Question

I've been with him over three years and we have a son. We just seem to have lost the magic, and try as I might, I can't get it back.

We've split up for short periods before but I get scared of making it final in case I'm making a mistake and I'm scared of finding somewhere to live alone with my son etc.

Any help, advice or guidance gladly accepted!
Also let me know what happened if you were/are in a similar situation!

Thanks

Answer 1

get another one

Answer 2

You have a son and a loving partner, OK so you're bored, life's possibly not all it was cracked up to be but I blame my own parents and society demanding perfection and rejecting us all at vital stages on a whim.

You've got past the first hurdle and brought new life into this world and now the needs of your son must come first.

You may decide you can bring your son up better on your own, I know some people who have achieved more on their own than they could ever do with the wrong person so the final answer I have to your dilemma is, sadly, a big 'I don't know' but good luck and you never know 'the magic' could always return when you learn to live with the things you can't change and change the things you can't live with and if you ever get to know the difference then let me know and chill out and make yourself a mug of hot chocolate.

Answer 3

There's more to this situations, isn't it.

Look at what you are both fighting about. Money? Love? Time? Etc?

Before making anything final, step back and take a breath. Why do you want to stay with him?

Also, I reccomend two books for you both to read:
1) Gary Chapman's book on the Five Love Languages
2) Dave Ramsey's book "Total Money Makeover"

You both are a team, and sadly the situations have gotten thin.

Have you tried getting outside help? A pastor, a conselor, etc? There's no shame in asking for help. We all need it!

Just be sure to be mature, honest and communicate about your feelings. Most importantly: listen. For the sake of your child, you both can make this work.

Answer 4

sometimes people give up too easily,but it seems that you have been having a niggling feeling that all is not as good as it could be. why settle for less, your child is young and if you have support from family and friends you dont' need to be afraid. beleive in yourself and just think " if i am unsure and unhappy enough now to have break ups , how will i make it longterm E.g 30-50 years more." in which case cut your losses and move on.

some peolpe stay because of guilt for the child or their upbringing or religeous beliefs. but times have changed and no-one batters an eyelid at single parenting anymore.

there is also that famous saying that " if you set it free ,and it returns it is yours to keep', something like that.

definately leave if he is an a-hole. there really is life thereafter.

Answer 5

Look! You have now a son, raise him. If your boyfriend doesn't want to help you and be a father to that child than leave him and continue your life with your son. Maybe you will find a person that will Love you and would be a great dad for your son. No stay calm, there will be years when you are alone but you have your son. Now you must be a mother and a father to that child. Be a good mom make him happy and you will be happy. Like my mother has done to me, she raised my alone, she has done a lot of things for me to make be smile. I thank God for giving me a great mom like her. Be like her, be yourself and be with your son. Then some day a man will see how wonderful you are with your son and you will have love to share. It's only matter of time attentions. Now your mission is to raise your son with your love and care. You have a love from your son and this will make you happy. Be a great mom for the kid, I know you can do it. Some your true love and father for your son will come.

Answer 6

I have a 4 year old. Been together nearly 6 years.
For the last 18 months I have felt nothing for him, so I had a chat with him and we now have seperate bedrooms and lifes but still live together because of the mortgage.
I dont know how much longer the situation can go on for but I am still glad it was said, because being together for convienece or because it's a habit is an absolute time waste.
Good luck with your decision!!!

Answer 7

You say you are too scared to leave him incase you are making a mistake... go with your instincts, if you stay with him you might regret it.

Don't worry about being on your own. You should be on your own for a while, it will make you stronger...You will find a new partner although when you think ahead it is hard to imagine it.

I had to leave my partner because he was violent. our daughter was 6 months old at the time. she's four now and very happy but i'm sure if i stayed with her dad she would be unhappy cos children can pick up on how you are feeling.

If there is definately no hope in fixing your relationship, then you need to leave before you and your partner end up hating eachother. tell your local council you are goingto become homeless, thay have to house you.

Answer 8

only you know the answer to this one, do you still love him or even like him. Its hard to leave someone and make it on your own,but the only persons you have to really think about is you and your son. sit down and write yourself a letter ,write him a letter of how you feel some men do not listen when we cry for help until they are made to.Don.t expect an answer right away men can't do it let him think it over ,for a few days, he may surprise you. good look everything has a way of working its self out one way or another.

Answer 9

Why do we constantly allow guys to depict the way we feel or behave.

I'm sure most of us feel that we are independent self-reliant women yet when a guy doesn't call, we feel like ****. Suddenly we are no longer confident. Does he not like me anymore? Like wat the ****. I need to get off that hook. I need to think that i can move on. I know i can but i need time. After that i want no more emotional attachments cos they eventually hurt u. But i know no matter how much u tell urself to keep things simple..it becomes complicated.

Sch is ******* stressful with mid-terms on their way and project deadlines approaching like a looming dark cloud. Life has never been this stressful and boring. It's a routine. Sch-project meeting-home. But i dun think i can handle any distraction. It'll be too hectic. But my darlings..u can come and disturb me anytime. I appreciate the asking of my well being and concern from u people. It really helps.

I just want to make sure i never fall into the trap again. No matter how shitty or boring life can be..it's still better than having ur heart heaved out of ur body and being trampled on.

When i see someone in love, i feel like yanking their heads out and filling it with hate. I wonder what's so especially abt love that one actually forgets his own identity? I'm not toking without experience..Infact i can say with much certainty that I hate the feeling of being in love..It makes u weak, vulnerable, clingy, wide-eyed, dreamy and so many other words i can come out with that associate back to being a loser.. Where's the strong, up-town, sophisticated, I-Know-i can -make-it on-my-own woman? I'm really a huge feminist.. which is why i dun give a **** abt what a guy has to offer me cos it's never enough and also i can get watever i want myself!

Answer 10

Don't fear change. Do what is best for you and your son and seek a relationship where you are happy. Even though you are not married, your situation is no better than when housewives used to stay married to husbands for decades either because of the "kids" or because they were afraid to try to make it own their own... My mom tried that, and while she and my dad were together, my sister and I were miserable. Move out on your own and keep looking for your soul mate.

Answer 11

why dont u talk it over atleast for the sake of ur son.i think he's too small to be sentenced to such a lonely life without a daddy.if after dat things are still not ok,then find your way out, from all indication he is just your bf not your husband so what are you still doing wit him?.why allow him to cage you like an animal and make you fell that u cant live witout him.I TELL U MY DEAR YOU CAN DO WONDERFULLY WELL WITHOUT HIM.be yourself and not someone else's shadow.