So I am pretty sure I am bisexual. I feel that I am attracted to both men and women, and I suppose that is the definition of a bisexual. So I recently thought about coming out to a really good friend of mine, just for my own mental health, but I started to get cold feet, and I am beginning to wonder if this thing I am going through is just a phase. I am 17 years old, and it's not like I am looking for a label or anything. I just want to be able to come completely out to myself, so I can talk to my best friend about it and get it out of my system. Did any of you go through this? Are there questions I should be asking myself? How do I know for sure that I am bisexual not bicurious?
I have read tons of material on the interent, but none of them can quite answer my question, and I am not quite comfortable enough to chat with someone yet.
(Please no religious comments. I know God made Adam and Eve, not "Adam and Steve".)
2006-08-02 23:29:28 · 11 answers · asked by Geckolion 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I imagine that you'd know the same way that I know I'm heterosexual, by paying attention to my attractions. If you're sexually attracted to people of both genders then you're bisexual, and if you stop being attracted to people of one gender, then you're no longer bisexual - what difference does it make if you call yourself "bisexual" or "just in a phase"?
Now, if you're finding yourself attracted to the _idea_ of being bisexual but not to real live people of both genders, then I think you may have a point. Can you identify people of both genders to whom you're sexually attracted?
2006-08-02 23:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say directly, but I assume from your message that you haven't acted on your attracton to other women yet. Am I right? I don't think you're ready to "come out" as I'm not sure you're anything but curious or fanciful at this point. But at 17, you could find yourself 5 or 10 years from now anywhere from totally straight to totally lesbian. You haven't experienced enough nor thought enough to discover your true sexual identity.
If this friend you were considering "coming out" to is truly a good and trusted friend, and a mature and open minded person, you might start by talking out your feelings with her. There's a difference between coming out by saying "I am bisexual," and just saying, you know, I've had some fantasies, or sometimes I feel an attraction. Compare how you feel to how she feels. Is it closer to how she sometimes feels too, or does she see your feelings as really different. Then in time, perhaps when you're a little older and have more privacy in your life than you probably do now, you may want to progress to TALKING this through with someone you know to be a bi-female or lesbian. Don't be so anxious to come out before you know yourself where you fit in to the spectrum.
2006-08-03 08:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just answered the question of a 24 yr old who wantsd to settle down and can't find the right person. I said to relax. That's the same thing I'll say to you. Meet people. Have fun. If the moment is right with ms right, enjoy yourself. Give yourself some time to get everything clear in your head. BTW, I wasn't aware of being a lesbian until I was married for several years (26 or 27). We don't all figure it out at the same time. Call the gay center or hotline. They can find someone for you to talk to. Contact pflag.or -- very supportive nat'l group - they'll find someone to help you along in your journey.My best.
2006-08-06 04:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a really good site by the Human Rights Campaign about "coming out" as bisexual and about coming out as bi to yourself which can be just as hard. I'll link it. To answer the question, nobody knows if you are truely bisexual but you. You will know though. Just try to be calm about it and think about who you are attracted to and why.
Also try to go to a local GLBTQ youth group to talk about the issue openly. That can help you get out of your mind and into "real" life. Peace babe.
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out_as_Bi&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=32346
http://www.youthresource.com/
2006-08-03 16:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 17 too and bisexual. I even told my boyfriend I am so I guess It's not just a phase with me. Why don't you just tell your friend what you just told us. That you're not sure yet at least you'll have someone to talk to then.
2006-08-03 06:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Obilee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens to you is normal .. A human being is attracted to any beautiful thing flowers, children attractive girls and boys etc.. The difference is that some people uase their minds and thoughts and the other do not ...
2006-08-03 06:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by Nilehawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer - stop fretting about it. If it's a phase, you'll know when you stop finding girls sexually attractive. Until that happens, you're bi. Simple as that. Just enjoy what you're doing and get on with your life.
2006-08-03 06:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by That English Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a friend of mine would tell me what u are about to reveil to your friend, I would think she's making a pass at me , would be great though lol wink wink !
2006-08-05 22:34:09 · answer #8 · answered by maltese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess the best way for you to decide would be for you to have an encounter with a female, then that way you will know for sure if you are bi or not
good luck!
2006-08-03 06:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by ☺Everybody still loves Chris!♥▼© 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It neva just'a phase. Once u try it thats it u're bi, even if u neva do it again it will alwayz b on u're mind. Think'a bout it....
2006-08-07 02:52:48 · answer #10 · answered by sophatup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋