2006-08-02 20:53:34 · 11 answers · asked by tammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not first time to get mad and scream: called police but they left without anything. I am a stay-home mom for the kids but he always said if I left, I can't survive anyway because I can't afford it with two kids and lose the houses, lose the kids if I get child support it will be only $300 and it doesn't buy a thing. I am not gona enjoy my kids because they will be in day care the whole day his opinion. I don't have power on the finance because he is the only one working and he can hire a great lawyer what about me? I am gona lose. Am I? That will be my problem.
2006-08-02 21:25:18 · update #1
If that happened, he is unstable, dangerous, and you and your children are at risk,
you must protect yourself, get a restraining order, and stick to it,
Do not think that if he was violent once that is isolated and it wont happen again, because it will,, and someitmes women just push fate, and believe that the man they are married to would not do any serious violence, and they do and sometimes death occurs,
sorry , i am not trying to scare you,, ok yes i am get counseling,get in a safe place, do not get in car with him, or your kids either,,
always expect the worst , and you will prepare yourself for safety and a stable environment,,
The most important thing is you need proof, and you need to keep a journal of all your interactions, good or bad, and do not tell lhim,, and if you have a record of times dates, episodes, and how you felt, and what happen it will put you a little bit in a prepared mode.
if your car was crashed, you and your children could have been killed or crippled for life, do not forget that, and do not let time, let your guard down, that is how women end up dead, or children taken etc,
just be careful, get away form the violence, and protect your children from any unnecessary bad experience,,,
good luck
don't forget God, he can be a great help, if you ask, and let him in.
2006-08-02 21:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem to me, this is not the first time some type of abuse has happened! If it is or not, ask yourself is this how I want to live and allow my children to be brought up in an unhealthy enviorment! Your situation is NOT SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know your financial circumstances, if you can afford to get out, then do ! If you can not you can get help from different organizations, Salvation Army, Catholic Social Services, Church and others. Do you think calling the police is a good idea!!! I was in a simular situation many years ago, there was no help available at that time, I was physically and emotionally abused, it also damages the children and can make their future not so bright,if you deciide to stay eventually your children may be unable to make healthy decisions as they grow older. You need to set the example, keep them and you safe, get professional help, so the same pattern is not followed in your future or the children's. We tend to think WHY SHOULD I SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP, I AM NOT THE ABUSER! HERE IS AN ANSWER FOR THAT! The person being abused is in a victim mode and because of the abuse our own self- esteem, our emotional, physical and spiritual being has been damaged and the children too, help is indeed needed one way or the other!
Not good to accept his apology, it is meant for the moment, until the next abuse happens, it will get worse as time passes, he too needs PROFESSIONAL HELP! Get out before he does follow through with his actions and behavior. Learn about HEALTHY BOUNDRIES, UNHEALTHY BOUNDRIES, if you say something be sure you are ready to follow up on it, if not you will pay a price. You can not allow yourself to lose what self- esteem you still have, nor lose RESPECT for yourself by staying! Do something, make a decision that is benificial to you and the children, do not hesitate, you are worth being treated properly, so are those children. Guess I have said enough! Get Out, Get Help, NOW!!!!! Good Luck! PS, You can not fix what has happened in the past, you can change the future, no one else ONLY YOU can decide, it is in your hands and the God of your understanding! In answer to the added info! Well he can say what he wants in order to manipulate you into staying, go to Legal Aid! Call, get appointment as soon as possible! Yes the person who told you to get an order of protection is on the mark! Sometimes we all have to make decisions regarding things we rather choose not to do, like having to work, not able to be at home MOM! He is going to use that as leverage to keep you stuck! Why, did the police not do anything? Give us more info. Do not be intimidated by him, easy for me to say but I have been there! I never thought I could get a divorcee but, Legal Aid helped me and I was glad! You have to stand your ground, it will not be an easy road, but you can learn, grow, and be a much wiser woman from this experience, you may feel trapped, NO! YOU ARE ONLY TRAPPED IF YOU ALLOW HIM TO MANIPULATE YOU! If you are at your mom's how long can you be there? Ask her to set a limit, if she is willing on how long. Then get your butt in gear, go to get help, check with all agency's, shelters, there is a way out! If you still feel love for him, it will make it more difficult. He is a bully and he knows how far to push your buttons, the children need you to be strong for all of you. Do not get into another relationship until you get help, you are a MOM, that is what your main goal as a Mom needs to be, not another relationship! At this point it would be too easy to find another abuser,he would just be ia different person ending up having some type of abusive baggage! Take time to ask yourself how and why you chose this man, go to meetings that can help you and give you the emotional support you need. The police know about safe houses etc.
2006-08-02 21:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by my4dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is threatening to harm anyone like crashing the car ect.... you can & should have him commited for a mental evaluation.Also for 2 kids you should get more than $300 a month.He's playing games,don't buy his B.S.
2006-08-02 21:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get in the car with him thats for sure. Does he do anything else thats scary? I would say leave but I dont know all the details, split the houses you take one and he takes one. Good luck.
2006-08-02 21:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 houses?
2006-08-02 20:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by Laur 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did he does that? anger prob? mental prob? not enough infor, anyway , i think the safe bet is stay away from him, i mean whio is him, 411!
2006-08-02 21:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats scary! protect your kids!!
2006-08-02 21:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by this is me... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try one one time, your questions are confusing
2006-08-02 21:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the heck away from him! DANGER!
2006-08-02 21:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by mary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of the car with him. my opion?
2006-08-02 21:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋