I'm have a lady friend that's asking me for advise. She want's to know what should she do about her relationship. She's very attractive, independant, career oriented and she's been dating a guy for 2 1/2 years that's much her match.
In the beginning they decided to have an open relationship, because they both were coming out of long, broken marriages with lots of unresolved baggage. She now want's to take things to the next level since the air has cleared and he agreed. Last month he paid $1200 toward a trip he intend to take in October. A lady he was dating is one of 7 other people that is going. The money is non-refundable. He say's she should be understanding since the plans were made before now and he doesn't want to loose the money, she doesn't feel comfortable with the fact that the other lady is going.
I really need mature answers, (they both are my friend).
He can't find anyone to purchase his ticket at $1200.
2006-08-02 20:13:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK you need to pick which friend you want because if you get into the middle your going to piss one of them off. as for her I'm guessing there's no ring and or date set, so there is no real comitment there, and it seams he would rather go then lose the money so that says to me loseing her won't matter much. tell your girl friend that she is waisting he life waiting for this guy, and I don't care how much her equal he is cause he would choose money over her and did. if he truly loved her then the money would mean nothing if it ment loosing his girl. so thats 2 yrs she won't be getting back.
2006-08-02 20:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by 4stringthndr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they agreed to be committed to each other the trip is out of the question. So he takes a loss its better than losing the relationship, IF he really wants to go to the next level he won't risk it for any trip. Sell the tickets for whatever he can get for them. He has until Oct to sell them, put an ad in the paper and see what happens. Also if there are 7 other people going he can let them know he wants to sell his and they can work on it too. Maybe they have other friends or relatives that would like to go. He can say he can't sell the tickets AFTER he has actually made an effort to sell the tickets. If that doesn't work its up to her to decide whether to take a stand or go along for the ride but if she buys in to this bs now she's going to find herself being taken on lots of unpleasant rides by this guy. What kind of trip? Its one thing to have an open relationship, its another to go on vacation with someone else.
2006-08-03 03:59:31 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's uncomfortable about this, so she needs to communicate her need that he completely ignore this other woman. I live in a small community, and we run into our exes ALL THE TIME. Heck, I can't walk out my front door blindfolded without knocking over one of my exes (that's a joke).
As long as he knows how strongly she feels, and how uncomfortable she feels, it's up to him to make her feel better about the upcoming trip, and to assure her that there's nothing to worry about.
Tell her to imagine living in a very small town. Seeing exes every day. You tend to either learn to live with them around, or you move away after every relationship. There'd be nobody left in town, if everyone felt that way.
She has every right to feel a little uncomfortable, but if she refuses to go, and he goes alone, it doesn't matter if he ignored the other woman or not, she'll never believe it. And throwing away the money could only make him irritable toward her.
It's better if she's there to enjoy the trip with him. And she should probably at least try trusting him while she's around to see what happens, because someday, there will be women around him while she's not there. If she can't trust him while she's around, she certainly can't trust him when she's gone.
2006-08-03 03:44:38 · answer #3 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them to check into either getting her a ticket. If not then he should try to sell the ticket in the local paper. If that doesn't work, then he needs to ask himself. What is more important to him the $1200 that is already gone or the woman that he has agreed to take things to the next level with. If this is the woman that he sees a future with, why start that future with a uncomfortable strain. Best of luck to your friends.
2006-08-03 03:27:12 · answer #4 · answered by clover31776 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she meant something to him he would consider her feelings and not go or let the money wash away.. You can replace money but you can't replace someones heart. If I were him and had feelings then I would not go.. And if he learned anything when he was married the woman are right and there feelings do count. They need to sit down and talk about the feeling towards each other it sounds like the woman likes him and he is still wanting to fock around it is hard to fine good woman so he need to think about it..
2006-08-03 03:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by viperman710 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He agreed to take it to the next level.
Have them take the trip and leave the other lady out of it. Now they get to take the trip together.
If he or she doesn't want to do that then neither wants to really go to the next level.
2006-08-03 03:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, talk to your friend.. I know it may be hard to be in her situation knowing that your hubby is going somewhere with someone he had relationship with. Honestly, I have been in that situation twice with my husband(well that was before we got married though), my husband works with his ex-girlfriend and they had to go on a company trip..meaning she was there and I wasn't..DAMN!! The insecurity hit in and I was totally freaking. But what I did was I sat down with my husband (BF then) and told him how I really feel about this trip they were having. I know past is past, but we all know there was still a past and when put together sometimes it can't be avoided. So, in short, I explained to my husband how I felt and why I was feeling this way about his EX-GF...and in the end he understood my whole feeling and just decided to stay with me instead of going with his EX to their company trip...but THank GOD, my husband now is in another company they're longer in one company!
Tell your friend to talk to her hubby, explain how she feels and be honest about not feeling happy knowing that you and your ex are together in another place where she isn't in!
I hope that would help.
2006-08-03 03:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋