I have had thoughts of ending it because of the stress, Should i stay and work it out for the kids they are so happy w/ him...they already lost their father during my first divorce, should i try extra hard to keep my bf of almost 2 years so I wont hurt the kids again?
2006-08-02 20:01:36 · 18 answers · asked by daisy... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we never argue in front of the kids,they dont see that, but because of all the stress I have had thoughts of ending it. I love him but im tired of the arguing, should i stay w/ him for the kids, I dont want to hurt my kids
2006-08-02 20:50:45 · update #1
Oh lovely! Your kids found themselves a new daddy to whom you are not married and who will exit as soon as the "arguing" convinces him (this is what he wants) that YOU are a shrew and he deserves better. Another loser who has been able to "do" you for free while you provide the home and cook the food and tell him that you "love" him even though he clearly thinks of you as a convenience.
Yes, get rid of him and tell your children that you did a stupid thing: You thought of yourself and not them. You took a man into the house, got the kids hopeful and "it didn't work out." How convenient for you and the loser. Adults can move on but kids can't. Grow up. You do not have the right now to happiness without earning it and that comes after providing a safe, stable and sane home for your children. They are number one. You get the leftovers after the youngest is 18 and out on his/her own. Better start preparing a life meal now that will yield yummy leftovers when the last child is grown. Our brains are in our noggin, not down "there." Didn't your mother and father ever tell you that?
2006-08-02 20:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you arguing about? Is it the same thing over and over? Then what good does it do to argue? It just upsets the household and especially the kids. It takes two to argue. Count to 10. Take a walk. Talk to a counselor. Take a good look at yourself. What part are you playing in the constant arguing? Put yourself in his shoes and see if you can understand his point of view. There is a lot of "self help" info out there. Reach out to some of it. Focus on the Family has a FREE monthly magazine. Church is FREE. Pray at night that the Lord will help you keep your cool even when it's really hard to. You say you love each other. Then work on it instead of giving in to the easy way out. You say you want to keep him because of the kids, yet you say you love him. If you really love him, then you'll put a lot of energy into saving the relationship. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-02 20:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by dbisstore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I am married and I have been so stressed with the arguing and I am so sick and tired and have really been thinking that this is not going to work. But I have been married for 7 years. I don't know what to do. You just have to be strong and I guess if nothing is changing and you really can't take it anymore then you really do need to end it. Because although the children may not see you arguing right now, I'm sure they since your unhappiness.
2006-08-10 18:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by ♫†☼☼♥Natasha♥☼☼†♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids should be # 1 in your life. If they are hearing all this arguing going on; that is not good at all. If the problems you are arguing about can be resolved; then do so; if not have him take a hike. Kids really do get stress over arguing.
2006-08-02 20:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by mary c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey lady your already hurting your kids by fighting, make your kids number one in your life they don't have there dad around and that's your fault for not picking a man to be there father they are better off with out a boyfriend around trying to play dad to kids that ain't his. this is about you so admit that first when you do then you'll know that they need you not some half wit boyfriend hanging around, raise your kids when there grown and out then you can have a looser guy around if you like, but don't make your kids suffer through you dumb aaassssss need to be validated by some guy. your a mother not a single woman your kids come before you sex life a "woman/ Mother" would now this.
2006-08-02 20:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by 4stringthndr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what you're arguing about. If it's a matter of comprimising and neither one of you are stepping up to the plate, then swallow some pride and do what you have to do. If it's something you know you won't tollerate, end it. Your kids deserve to have their best mom, not a stressed out or sad mom. You need energy to take care of them, and sure they will miss him, but remember, you are number one in their book and they will get over it.
2006-08-10 18:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think your kids would enjoy a second divorce as well.. right now the kids love your bf but in a few years time of seeing you argue with him a lot do you think he would still make them happy? go and look for someone else who will love your kids and love YOU as well.. try on-line dating in sites like webdate dot com..there's no harm in giving yourself happiness besides, you aren't even married yet youre acting like you are a woman married for 10 years so give yourself a break..
2006-08-02 20:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by steller23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope you don't argue in front of the kids. i mean, really, it's none of my business, but i kinda know how that goes. it's very hard to be angry and be silent about it!. if he is completely impossible, then you should probably end it. but---- you should really look at what YOU are contributing too. sometimes, we get so caught up in the blame game and don't even notice that we are just as guilty. just take a healthy honest look at things, even if it is painful. but it sounds like you are questioning anyways, and thinking of your kids. i guess there is no MAGIC answer. but i hope this helps a little bit!
2006-08-02 20:09:37 · answer #8 · answered by vbg2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... sounds like a guy i know .. if its the same one he loves u very much and will do whatever it takes to make this work. if not then ok. hon talk to him and try work things out maybe uer just fighting bec u dont agree on everything thats normal get some counseling if u find it difficult to get across to him how u feel about the current sitch, i wish u both the very best in life and hopefully this will work out and ull live mostly happily ever after.
2006-08-10 18:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by blueducky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be worse for the kids to see you two arguing all the time than you leaving your BF. think what would be best for you and in turn for you kids in the long term!
2006-08-02 20:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by cost cutter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋