i am married, but this older man is on my mind. i know i won't do anything, but it is strong desire just to see him. i've been going through a rough patch for awhile now with my husband, so i keep that in mind. i am not the type to 'act' on my desires anyway, but i just feel so compelled. it's a little embarrasing!
2006-08-02 19:19:11 · 9 answers · asked by vbg2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i love my husband. and i've been loyal and faithful and intend to keep it that way. but i'm feeling this attraction. just curious if anyone else has felt this way. i mean, what's the difference if you look at pornography, or just think about another man, but don't DO anything. sometimes marriage feels so binding in this aspect.
2006-08-02 19:35:13 · update #1
It is natural to have lust or desire for others even when married in my opinion. Wether or not you act upon them lends itself to the nature of your character. If you are going through a rough patch with your hubby then I hope the two of you are trying to no ignore it but work it through. We all know it is not always roses. Personally I wouldn't tell him that you are thinking of someone else, but you can find other things to talk to him about. Remember that symptoms are really the worst thing to try and work on... so many people do... I believe it is the cause that should be examined and tackled. Do not be embarresed. I am sure you are a great wife and he a great husband. You did marry him for many great reasons I am sure. Just know that as a natural female you will find attraction. Sometimes it is what you are not getting in your husband. Look into that. Maybe that is where you can work from. I know I am not a lady, but as a male and as a free thinking human, I think that the protection of a marriage is vital, so long as there is not abuse. We live in too much of a throw away society. Just read the answers to some of the questions in here to things like "I really like this other man or woman." The answers sometimes are "follow your heart." "Divorce him or her." "What your spouse doesn't know won't hurt." (sorry to prattle on here) I guess my long winded *** is saying. Find out what you are feeling and why. Work on it with your husband. Do special things for each other. Remember it is a journey. Yada yada yada. Mostly why listen to me LOL, I am a poor jester in the king's court. HA! Best of luck darlin!
2006-08-02 19:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by Hmmmmmm 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Right, a woman who's been married and raising a family for 20 years just finds out her husband is a cheater (because cheaters are incredibly prolific liars, to both the other woman and the wife) and overnight she becomes a total drama junkie, a glutton for punishment and loves the pain! You think? Give us a break. Naive, maybe. Just as naive as the side pork who believes that she is the love of this guy's life and will hang on for dear life to the scraps he throws her. Naive because she, the wife, believes her husband of decades when he tells her he loves her and is remorseful? Naive because she took vows and believed that her husband who was standing there beside her, took the same? Naive, maybe. Betrayed, absolutely. Not every man or woman will cheat again. Sometimes when they hit the wall (and usually yes, that may take getting caught) they lose the respect of family, children, coworkers and friends. Sometimes they even lose their jobs. We've seen this happen over and over in the news lately. Sometimes they don't actually "get" it until they are caught and are faced with the idiocy of their actions and the pain they have caused. Sure, many wait a bit and sneak back out there looking for some cheap thrills again. They fix mistakes and get more sinister, cover their tracks better and warn their pork to keep the down-low. Sometimes. It's not cut and dried. You're making judgments on women's decisions because you're sitting there living vicariously through a "friend" that obviously has about as much moral fiber as a peanut. Until you've walked the walk and lived through the devastation and the aftermath from a betrayed spouse's experience you are not going to understand his or her reactions to the situation any more than I can understand why a woman would let herself be some man's dirty little secret. *****
2016-03-16 12:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels embarrasing and almost shameful...I know.. But if this desire is more than an attraction, try to see if it is the man, or just the rough spot in your marriage that is making you feel this way.
I'm sure you will find the two linked somehow. I know it's hard to tell the difference. But I'm sure you'll figure it out with some deep thoughts. Good luck!
2006-08-02 20:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by Miss J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there are plenty of whores who are married but want other men. This is why the divorce rate is so high.
That's how affairs begin, the woman "desires" another man but doesn't "act" on them. But eventually the feelings get so strong that the woman (whore) ends up having sex with him.
2006-08-02 19:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always thought about other men even though I love my husband. Sometimes it is fun to just act on desire and I have done that on several occasions. My husband knows about this and accepts it as being part of me.
2006-08-03 06:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by wildladyreba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes we married women do have desires for other men but rarely act on them...
2006-08-02 19:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal to let your mind wander on occassion...
2006-08-03 03:41:00 · answer #7 · answered by tear streaked angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just lust or flirting, i have it all the time but i have never cheated on my g/f
2006-08-02 19:23:29 · answer #8 · answered by maxiscell012 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never felt i had to do this . that is why i divorced now my. ex. she was doing this . fact. ?
2006-08-02 19:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋