2006-08-02 19:05:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst.
He is crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath -when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an IRS genie."
She smiled and said, "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
He said, "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of all sorts of culinary delicacies.
The genie said, "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
The genie said, "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF***
He turned into a tampon.
2006-08-02 19:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by Candy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I heard this on the radio the other day.
A guy was in a bar, and he was pretty drunk. He asked the bartender for another, but he refused the man and told him he needed to leave, that he wouldn't get served anymore.
The man stumbled out the door, but was soon coming a door on the side. He fell onto a stool and asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender again refused him, and told him he needed to leave.
The man left the bar again, but came through another side door. He made his way around some tables and started to sit, but the bartender was in his face - "I already told you no more. Get out!"
The man left and was soon seen coming in through the bar's back door. The bartender couldn't believe this guy.
"You can't have anything to drink here!"
The drunk looked at the bartender in wide eyes surprise and said, "Dag, man, how many bars you work at in this town?"
2006-08-02 19:24:47 · answer #2 · answered by Isthisnametaken2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THREE MEN WERE DRIVING THROUGH THE DESSERT. WHEN THE CAR BROKE DOWN THE DRIVER SAID TO THE OTHERS "OK, SINCE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO WALK, EVERYONE TAKE SOMETHING FROM THE CAR THAT WILL HELP US ON OUR WAY. THE FIRST GUY OPENED THE TRUNK AND TOOK OUT A BAG OF FOOD. THE OTHER MEN ASKED "WHAT'S THAT FOR?" HE SAID "SO WHEN WE GET HUNGRY WE WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT." THE SECOND GUY TOOK A JUG OF WATER OUT OF THE CAR. "WHAT'S THAT FOR?" THE OTHERS ASKED. "SO IF WE GET THIRSTY WE WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO DRINK." THE THIRD GUY GOES OVER AND RIPS THE CAR DOOR OFF OF THE CAR. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" THEY WANTED TO KNOW. HE SAID "LOOK, I'M SURE WE WILL GET HOT. WHEN WE DO WE CAN JUST ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN!!!!"
2006-08-02 19:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kathryn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two rabbits were at the top of the hill looking down on some female rabbits. Buck issued a challenge to his buddy Chuck.
"I bet I can **** as many of those female rabbits than you, Chuck!"
"Well, I bet I can **** more of those female rabbits than you, Buck!"
And so the race was on! Both Buck and Chuck hopped down the hill and started ******* the female rabbits.
"Wham, bam, thank ya, ma'am! Wham, bam, thank ya ma'am! Wham, bam, thank ya, ma'am! Goddamn! 'Scuse me, Chuck!"
2006-08-02 20:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is worse than getting raped by Jack The Ripper?
>>Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
2006-08-02 19:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Arts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the Mexican Fireman name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B
2006-08-02 19:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Philip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't the lamb have a daddy?
He is a baaaaaa-stard
2006-08-02 19:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by Jersey's Franchise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why does Britney Spears sell so many millions of albums?"
"Because the public is horny and depressed"
2006-08-02 19:17:50 · answer #8 · answered by paddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can a veggie lover eat animal crackers?
2006-08-02 19:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by Elle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋