He's been going to these porn sites like crazy while ignoring me!Some say I should not worry about it. I think it is unhealthy.
2006-08-02 18:49:57 · 29 answers · asked by nikkilone1984 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you!! Its not healty....Its an easy substitute for having to work hard to maintain a loving relationship with you!
Its like all the fun without the fuss....pull the plug on that computer darlin...or put your shoes on and head for the hills.
2006-08-02 18:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with your husband looking at porn. What is wrong is the fact that he's ignoring you because of it. I suggest you talk to him and tell him that if he's into porn that's okay, but that shouldn't get in the way of the two of you. Maybe the 2 of you could use the porn to make your own sparks together. I have a friend who's husband is big on porn and she has used it to her advantage. They watch videos or look at pictures together. She told me the sex they have now is even better than it was before they started doing this. Get involved.
Also, you might ask your husband what his fantasies are. For instance, you could ask him what his ultimate sexual experience would be. If it's within reason for you, act it out. His facination with porn could mean that things need to be "spiced" up for him.
Talk about your fantasies and what your needs and wants are FOR BOTH OF YOU. Experiment with new ideas. I think if you do you will find that your husband will stop ignoring you!
Good luck.
2006-08-02 19:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by ladyluck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Girl, you are by far, not at all alone. I just went through this at the beginning of this year and let me tell you what, it was a nightmare. After 22 years of marriage, I thought I had it pretty good - thought we had weathered just about everything a married couple could go through and came out smelling pretty good. Gradually, our sex life totally dropped off the face of the planet and I just couldn't figure out why...then, VERY early one morning, I caught him on the computer with the most disgusting sites I have ever seen. This was no "Playboy" let me tell ya. There is no way in hell a normal woman an "compete" with the women on these sites. It is just not possible. I say, confront him NOW and give him an ultimatum: Stop, or I am gone. It worked for me and now we are back to being our normal, happily married selves. You know what he told me? He couldn't stop on his own, was addicted, and was just waiting for me to catch him so he would HAVE to stop. WOW. Men are so weak.
2006-08-02 19:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by bizzebee_58 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not in favor of porn. A little probably isn't too harmful, but this sounds like a lot and that is definitely not good. This can lead to all manner of problems. Porn doesn't have much by way of respect for women
2006-08-02 18:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by sand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry much , just try to find out at a weak moment what is that thing that is facinating to him, may be diff styles/ techniques he may be lerning to keep u happy and himself happy.It does'nt take long for people to get off such sites.He himself will gradually l get weened off the sites provided you Find out what he prefers and adopt those styles and techniques. Try to adopt positive mind and things will change. If u keep this in mind your own response at crucial times would be playing on ur mind and he would not get the desired response which makes him do that so. So just become more cooperative at special times rather than worrying and keeping ur mind heavy,. Learn to enjoy he will leave the sites by himself
2006-08-02 19:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by pritha j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men do like porn. Watch it with him. It sounds like to me the part that bothers you is the ignoring you part. Talk to him about that and when you do don't throw in the part about the porn that'll just escalate things into a fight and you want ever really talk. Good luck.
2006-08-02 18:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard this so many times from my own wife "you go to these porn sites and don't pay any attention to me" well that's funny I remember you were the one who turned me down for sex for the past 2 weeks so ummm.....No porn is not a problem its just a way for us MEN to release stress and get those endorphins running again.
2006-08-02 18:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by tattoomeats 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not part of it, i would be concerned,
porn if anything can be an addition to your "sex life"
BUT NOT INSTEAD,,
make that clear to him before it goes on too long and he is addicted,,,addicted to being distracted from you can not be good,,,,,,you decide,
Being preoccupied with porn.. without your partner,means he is not "with you" EMOTIONALLY AT THAT TIME, he is elsewhere,
If he wants to go watch i love Lucy,, without you, then he needs time alone, or a little space,
if he wants porn without you.. he needs sex, or wants sex whether it be mentally or in person he is not with you.
TELL HIM TO GET OVER IT, OR CLIMB INSIDE THE COMPUTER, AND SLEEP WITH HER, OR THEM TONIGHT,,,AND TOMORROW -
you are the "real thing" ANd if the love you have to offer is not good enough,, you need to talk, get counselors, get help, dont let it get too out of hand, and do not ignore it,
good luck
2006-08-02 19:10:15 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pour water over your computer! lol. I mentally put myself in your postion and i would be upset as well. Id like to say id embrace it and not get all wierd about it. but its one thing to do it once in a while Obsession is another. Not to mention Internet porn is a certifiable addiction for some men, id be worried. Talk to him about it, and tell him your not so much upset as concerned. Good Luck
2006-08-02 18:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by bickeo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"emotionally cheating " You know nothing about men!
Going to porn sites is fine. Ignoring you is not. Work on the ignoring part.
2006-08-02 18:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by jumpingrightin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋