Why am I like this?

Question

I'm going through a divorce that seems to take forever because in this particular state you have to be separated for a year. There have been affairs on both sides, some name slandering, and a little two year old in the mix. she moved out four months ago. i finally moved out of the same house recently, mainly for economic reasons steming from the separation agreement. i have been like a wall of steel for the past six months since this all began. but something about moving out of that house and walking around in my son's room that kind of hit hard. i've also been hanging out with this one woman who's been really nice to me, but recently i stopped seeing her. i could sense that she was starting to like me. i'm actually afraid for any woman to be interested in me at all. i found myself asking her to not come over so much. i don't want to go back to my wife. it's just hard dealing with the transition. why am i like this? has anyone else felt this way?

Answer 1

You are very sensible. Going through separation is not easy. Jumping into another when the first has not ended is bad. So not wanting to go into another one is behaviour right. Give everyone some time and I hope all will smoothen up for you.

Answer 2

I just separated 6 month ago from my fiance we were together for 4 years we have two children together I know 4 years is not a long time but I do feel like that I don't want to get back with him but I also don't want anyone right now I also feel that I will never find love again that is scary this is all hurtful and it is hard just be the best person you can and be there for your son just take it one day at a time it also hurts because he has moved in with someone else life is not easy
it feels good to get it out thank you take care

Answer 3

The time period of my divorce was the most difficult of my life. There are so many emotions involved that its difficult to name them all. Sometimes you have a lot of different emotions all at one time. I missed my daughter, I hated being rejected, being alone, my wife with another man... the list could go on and on. I'm sure you already know.

I wish somebody would have told me that the healing never starts until you "LET GO". You have to realize that its over, as hard as it is and you have to be ready to move on. If you don't move on, you will become a bore to your family and friends. I dealt with the "pore pitiful me" attitude for about six months before I grew up.

After you let go, then start a new life without the dependency of another person to make you happy. Be selfish and do things you want to do and things that will make you happy.

Then, when you're least expecting it, and when you are happy with yourself and have your self-respect........ then you'll find that person that will make you even more happy. The best time to find that person is when you are not looking for her.

Good luck, and remember, going to church never hurts,

TX Guy

Answer 4

You are like that because the centre of your happiness and existance is based on the unstable... You try to find security, happiness and the right balance on what is for its nature, unstable.

Humans fail, humans make BIG and small mistakes, humans let people down, humans change their minds, their hearts, their feelings... humans are unstable... somewhat you are "grappled" to an illusion... we do that all the time... we do not realize of the situation or perhaps we do, but we don't want to accept it, so we create a whole different reality and stick to it.

You feel alone, you feel empty and somewhat you wanna fill in this hole...

When the centre of your life is the stable, and personally i think this is God... you can find the balance... it does not mean that people or things in your life are not important... but this way you can take them as PART of your life and not the CENTRE and SPARK of it...

Hmmm... let me find further advice for you...

Answer 5

Divorce is tough, especially since one commits 'til death do us part! But as time goes by it'll get better and you'll start dating again. Love is better the second time around because you learn a lot from your mistakes in your first love.

To Sweet's answer who left her children's unmarried father - since they were born out-of-wedlock, get a DNA sample of their biological father so 25-years from now when he wins the million dollar lotto, your children will have a claim against his estate equal to his legitimate children's claim. Otherwise, your children will wind up with nothing from his estate even though it's their birthright.

Answer 6

Rome wasn't built in a day ..... you need a good long time to yourself to heal from the hurt and pain you may be experiencing . . divorce is a like a death and you have to have time to mourn and heal . . .yes, you are going thru a very natural thing but in time, things will get better . . . don't worry about being with someone else right now . . . spend quality time with your child and take one day at a time

Answer 7

You are afraid to get close with any woman since the break up and thats normal. It will be hard but think about you well being and your son.

Answer 8

your rushing things , hold on , wait a minute, dont rebound so fast ,, if you need sex , go to a bar, get drunk, have a one night stand...then lose her....its too soon to even get involved with someone who says they dont mind just being "friends",,thats a lie , they always want more...dont rush , you are in transition , your full focus should be your child and yourself and that is all!
take care , God bless!

Answer 9

TTHIS IS NORMAL . IT WILL TAKE TIME TO ADJUST TO THE SITUATION.