How many gays/bis came from a good home with loving parents?

Question

I hope its alot. did your parents accept you, I have had the talks with my son that he should not be gay.(hes handicapped) but if he comes to me someday and says hey dad,,, my heart will be broken , but I would still love him.

Answer 1

They are born that way. The home has nothing to do with it. How can you be so badly informed in this day and age?

Answer 2

Not sure you can give a qualified answer to this question. I guess one would first have to ASSUME that being gay is a choice? Who knows if it is or isn't. I tend to follow the train of thought that it is *NOT* a choice someone makes in most cases. I am male and I love women. I love their feminine nature, their curvy bodies, etc. Now I'm not homophobic so I can also recognize a good looking guy that might be built well, but when I look at the male, I only think of how much I wish I had his particular feature I like, or I think of all the women he must drive crazy (and again I would love to be a Brad Pitt (when I was single at least)... It all comes back to me wanting to get more women. So why do I like women? I can't say why. I just do. So I'm guessing being gay must be the same feeling toward the same sex. Not really knowing why. As for bi-sexual. Being bi-sexual is not really accepted by either straight or gay communities. Most straight folks say you're straight or gay. If you're bi-sexual you're gay. Conversel most gay people I know say you're not truely gay if your bi-sexual cause you play both sides of the fence. Why would anyone willingly choose this lifestyle? Again I don't think they would (Willingly).

I have sons. If one came to me and said he was gay, I too would be heartbroken. I would be heartbroken for the difficulties I would see for my son in his future based on the fact he was gay. I see the social akwardness (no matter how mainstream it becomes, it will always have a stigma to it). I would also be heartbroken to not see my son get married to a good woman and to have his own children... This isn't even going in to the religious side of things. As a Christian I think being gay is against a Chrsitian lifestyle, however I still think God knows what is in the heart of people and I don't think for a minute he doesn't love people who happen to be gay as well. I know that won't get a lot of cheers from the very religious side of the house, but it's the way I feel.

Answer 3

I can attest to this

I'm almost 18 and I told my parents a couple months ago---keeping in mind that my family is rooted in Southern Baptist religion and my dad is a minister, it wasn't easy.

However, my mother wasn't so surprised because I always acted awkwardly about girls--- it was nothing to ever question; and me definitely being straight wasn't their perception at all. I'm in a loving family, in which I'm the only child...so thats where it hit hard--- the concern that I wouldnt have children of my "own"..

But at the heart of the talks with both of them, I got the same answer: 'though I wasnt raised to believe this is right, youre my son and i love you'... however, my mother is trying to understand me and the more she sees that I'm still the same son I've always been and that I just happen to have that characteristic-- that it doesnt matter. Its not something that I'm bothered about at home...they love me for the good hearted and hard working person that I am...and thats the way it should be

No matter if your kid ends up to be gay or straight, you should not feel like youre a failure as a parent-- as mine initially did (from the reaction). My parents eventually realized to overlook that 'added characteristic' and look at what else they did. And, in my opinion, I think they did a darned good job... so don't be heartbroken (as hard as that sounds)... just be embracing and try to understand your child and they will love you so much more for that. Doing otherwise will only estrange you two.

Hope that helped-- sorry for the long-winded-ness

Answer 4

I came from that sort of home. My parents did absolutely nothing wrong - it was just me. I came from a home where we were showered with love and where we were religious.

From an early age I was attracted to chicks - moreso in a role model kind of way. Later on I realised it was in a sexual way.

It was hard coming out to my family. It did not go down well for about 6 months. Afterwards it became a little easier. I'm not sure if it was so hard because I kept it a secret for two months while I was seeing someone or if it was because of the religious side.

Answer 5

i come from a great family. all loving, all caring, tons of counsins, aunts and uncles, 3 younger sisters, and a dog. we're not rich with money, we are rich in happiness and love though, and i wouldn't change that for the world. My parents are extremely hard working, each deserve a parent of the year award, and that's not bias. I'm sure a lot of parents deserve that award. but in short, my upbringing and family life has been and was by far better than one could expect (i'm 19, by the way). i'm sure everyone's parents do the best job they can possibly do.

i'm sure you would love your son under any circumstances, but if he does one day say hey dad... you're heart shouldn't be broken, it should be overwhelmed because he trusts you so much to tell you. your son's lucky to have you. you seem like a good parent.

take care :)

Answer 6

I don't know about all LGBTQ people, but I personally come from such a background.

My parents are very accepting, and my mom has even said that she "will support all of your endeavours and love you just as much... you're my daughter."

Why have you told him that he shouldn't be gay? It is not something that he can choose or otherwise change based on your talks with him. The talks may make him feel terrible: abnormal, alone, and rejected, especially if he is gay or bisexual. I mean, I sort of understand why your heart would be broken (it must be very difficult to find out something about your child of whom you thought you knew all aspects, especially if homosexuality or bisexuality goes against your political and/or religious beliefs) but at least you will still love him. Kudos for that much. And sorry about the run-on sentence, btw.

Answer 7

Why would you have talks with your son to not be gay? It's not like he would have a choice in the matter. You might still love him but it sounds like you would NOT accept him for who he is. Your talks will only make him a closet case if he is gay. Don't pretend to be some great and loving parent when you are obviously trying to make a child into what you want not what they want.

Answer 8

My family was a bit on the disfunctional side. My father was old school, where men rarely displayed emotions (other than anger I guess). While I know he loved me, he rarely verbalized it and I never remember seeing him cry except for very rare occassons (i.e the death of his parents, and when I left home to join the military) My parents were divorced when i was 4 years old, both remarrying (my mother twice). My upbringing was very strict, but despite it all I felt I was loved.

I do not feel this has one thing to do with why I am gay. I was born this way as far as I know, but resisted acting on these impulses for years and years as I was raised to believe it was wrong. I did the things in life that I was taught to be right and normal. I fought my natural inclinations, buried myself in many things including my faith and religion. I eventually married and had a family. In the end the end I battled depression because deep inside I knew I was living a lie. I loved my wife and children, and remained faithful to them and the commitment I had made regardless of my own personal feelings, happiness, and well being. Inside it was eatting me like a cancer.

After nearly 10 years of marriage, my wife filed for divorce. I later found out that she was having an affair and decided she wanted to be with her 'new' man more than with me. I should have been angry but in a way she did me the biggest favor she ever could because she freed me to become who I felt I really should have been all along.

I decided at that point to stop living my life according to what everyone else expected me to be. You can say it is wrong, that it is a sin, quote the bible, whatever you need to do to help you sleep at night. All I know is from that point on, I felt for the very first time in my life, peace within myself with who I was. I am no longer depressed, no longer trying to be someone I am not.

Answer 9

Good for you....I have a lot of str8 friends that say the same thing...My boyfriends parents are the best in laws I could ever hope to have. My 90 year old aunts is just fine with my being gay. My mother has come around....she doesn't understand, but accepts me for me....My mother too would prefer that I not be gay...but understands that there is no choice....I am who I am...

Answer 10

Most bisexual, lesbian, and gay people come from good and loving homes, just as many as straight people do. Thinking that there had to be some drama filled house is a myth. People are people. Different in some ways and the same in some ways. Childhoods differ from person to person, and they have nothing to do with being gay or not.

Answer 11

I'm bi and I came from a very loving home. I'm now 32 years old and I talk to my parents every single day. My mom is my best friend and while she isn't crazy about the fact that I'm bi, she accepts me for who I am.