a friend asked my advice.she said her hubby told her that. she said all she could do was cry. i felt bad for her. she is heavy but beautiful. i told her she needed to set him str8 and if he continued the comments to let him find someone else who fit the perfect picture he wanted. did i give her good advice??? what would you tell her? and what would you say to a man who told you that while making love?
2006-08-02 16:42:53 · 23 answers · asked by bigmommy240 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If my husband said that to me while we were having sex, I'd like to think I would say something really cutting and clever just to crush his spirit. But honestly, I would probably just cry like your friend did.
What a jackass!
I would just try to be supportive and do some fun girl thing together.
She should cut him off for a while, then see what he has to say.
2006-08-02 16:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by shomechely 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-16 04:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are gonna hate this one, but is my opinion and its reality, you can stick with all that fairy tale fluffy he should love you anyway stuff all you want, the fact is things just don't work that way so here goes...
Yes it was probably good advice but he'll probably take her up on finding another one if she doesn't get control of her weight. Unless she was fat when he married her then tell him to shove it. Its very poltically incorrect and it shouldn't happen but I'm sorry to say that if her man isn't attracted to fat women he just isn't. Think of a trait you find a turn off (for me its that natural orange red head thing, ick i'd never do it), would you have sex with that person just because its politically incorrect not to? I wouldn't.
Saying it during sex is absolutely horrible but then again he was probably thinking wow this is kind of gross and I don't want to be doing this chick, where did my beautiful wife go? No man would ever say that to me because I'll never be fat (and i'm 42 with 3 grown kids now so don't go thinking yeah right wait until your older and have some kids) my stomach is as flat now as it was when i was 16 and it always will be! I just consider it simple self respect.
2006-08-02 17:16:44 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if i were her i would have first knocked the crap out of him and then broke up with him!! I would have given him a good bye speach that would have made any man feel as dirty as she must have felt! even if your big (i am too) you should never and most importantly not DURING sex be told to lose weight. His proper move would have been to maybe enroll both of them in a gym or something where he could have made it seem like he was with her on the long cold hard jorney to thin ness. AND to top it off i bet he weighs more than her most guys who would say that are!!! they see no problem with them having a few hundred extra pound but the minute their woman isnt totally toned they dont want her anymore. its very sad.
YES you gave her great advise but i would have elaberated more!!
2006-08-02 17:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by naightengale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have said,do you want to call a divorce lawyer,or should I?!What kind of a man tells his wife to lose weight,and when their in the middle of sex too??He isn't a man yet,he's still a boy and needs to grow up.Tell your friend to hold her head up high and know that heavy is beautiful.Some men love heavy women.Monique is a GREAT example of a big,beautiful woman.Ever seen her??She's a comedian and is a main character on the show Parker's.Anyways,tell her,to tell him,IF he EVER says anything like that again,and during sex,then he needs to find another wife who is willing to put up with his childish a$$ because she won't.Then she needs to let him know how beautiful she is,big OR small.IF she ever wants to lose weight,her decision,then support her by walking with her or/and joining a gym.If she does,when she loses the weight,then she'll feel better about herself and he won't like it a bit because then he'll be scared she'll look else where,and if he hurts her like this,she needs to look elsewhere.Please reinforce how beautiful she is,by telling her so.She needs to build up her self esteem,so she won't feel like she has to take his crap,because she doesn't.
2006-08-02 17:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bet he told her he was kidding... This is awful.. I'm not sure what I would say... I think I would have stopped got up not say a word and leave the room.. then spend the night in spare bedroom or on the sofa.. and the next day do not talk, make his coffee, his lunch, dinner etc etc.. until he realizes how much of a jerk he was
2006-08-02 17:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by cinsaint1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a lady but I would say - "get your little penis out of me you jerk". I think we wait to have sex until I lose 50 lbs - how about that? Perhaps this guy is lusting after someone else. I think the man needs to decide if he loves the woman or loves only what she looks like.
Men can certainly be jerks!
2006-08-02 16:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you this, that love makin would have immediately stopped. Thats just rude and totally disrespectful. But your right, if he doesnt love her for her and not what she looks like, then he does need to go find someone else, because there are plenty of men who will love you for you. He probably aint all that good lookin either.
2006-08-02 17:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes u did give her good advice if he didnt like/love her for the way she is then why did he get her emotional attached in the first place. she needs to let that low life go and find someone better big girls ned love to. id give it if i wasnt wit my gurl lol tell her that maybe it would make her laugh u no. tell her she is to good for than boy anyways and yes he is a boy if he is gonna put someone down like that were all humans with feelins so she needs to kick him to the curb. and dont worry like i said u did the right thing. there is someone out there who will love her
2006-08-02 16:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After he said that, I would STOP having sex that instant and never have it with him again.
What an ***.
If she is fat, she needs to lose some weight for sure, but still, the guy is a loser for telling her at that time and it shows how insensitve he is. I would GET RID OF HIS ***>
2006-08-02 16:47:22 · answer #10 · answered by DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋