I've been with my woman for over 7 yrs. and she has always been a bit of a packrat. This never bothered me before but now it's getting a little out of hand. What's the nicest way to bring this up without hurting her feelings? Being discreet and gently broaching a subject are not my strong points.
2006-08-02 16:19:57 · 21 answers · asked by Nagitar™ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She may need someone strong to tell her to get rid of the stuff, as packrats have an emotional bond to their stuff and generally won't throw anything away. Remember that as you are telling her to get rid of the stuff. It could be like telling an alcoholic to get rid of the booze, so just remember that and don't let her get you angry. Firm and loving...just keep telling yourself that. Good Luck! Remember charitable organizations while you are clearing out old clothes and things that needy people can use.
2006-08-02 16:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, when you have been with someone for that long you should be able to tell them anything. How to say it is a lil tougher. My man and i both have that problem. When the clutter starts to build i say to him,"you know i think we have to much junk, we need to clear somethings out. make space for new things." make it a project tell her you want to get rid of stuff you don't really use and that she should too. Tell her having so much stuff, is overwhelming to you and that you feel that a lot of it is just taking up space that could be used for something else. If she doesn't agree, then be blunt. Women hold onto things for sentimental reasons not because they need them. In the end we know we should let some things go, but sometimes we find that tough, if u suggest it then we will think to ourselves, "hmm, i have wanted to get rid of some of this". Good luck
2006-08-02 16:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by TR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well really I don't think that you have to be discreet about the subject. I really like it when my husband is straight forward with me and basically says " Look I don't really like how you handled this..... or I don't like the way that you do this..." I think that if you are honest and direct it is taken better than if you beat around the bush and try to be overly nice about the situation.. I'm not saying that she will change but at least she will realize that it drives you slightly crazy. By realizing that it bothers you she might be more willing to try to change.
2006-08-02 16:25:10 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say that there is a little too much stuff, and suggest a garage sale. But just so she thinks it 's not just her, sell some of ur stuff as well.That would be a way to get rid of things and bring in some cash. Maybe u could buy something new, one day, and say there's not much room for it, and ask her to clear some of her things so u can put it somewhere
2006-08-02 16:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's something as easy as her being a packrat maybe you two should work on your communication skills with one another if you're afraid to bring it up. Just talk to her about it. Don't be mean. It really 'shouldn't' be a problem.
2006-08-02 16:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to be hard because that is something that has been on coming it didn't just happen. After 7 years of you not minding that she was a pack rat you want it to change. All I can say is be patient with her, she may respond by telling you that you never minded before. You know her best. Good luck
2006-08-02 16:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by trouble comes a knockin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about just telling her that you don't want to hurt her feelings but her collecting so much stuff is making you crazy.
Be honest with her and try to come up with a solution that you both can live with. That is what a good relationship is based on.
2006-08-02 16:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st you talk about how many people may need 1 of 2,000 magazines, books or something she doesn't use. Then say I bet someone would be happy to have just 1 of those magazines. Then you say...honey would you mind if I help you sort through some of this stuff. say all of this with a sincere heart or it will not work.
2006-08-02 16:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by NaijaPrincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Hey sweetie, I'm feeling a little cramped in here and I was thinking that maybe we could get a little spring cleaning done" (followed by puppy dog eyes)
If you're truly bothered by the situation, you're much better off just addressing the issue than you are to let it build to an unmanageable problem that results in you taking the next knick nak she brings home, setting flame to it in front of her and dousing the ashes in urine.
You know your lady, think it out and go for it!
2006-08-02 16:26:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be blunt and honest. Pick a time when she's in a receptive mood and tell her straight out what effect it's having on you.
In my experience, pack rats are hard to change, and the softly-softly approach simply doesn't work. They also tend to get worse over time, so don't delay.
2006-08-02 16:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋