I'm only 16 and...?

Question

You see,
my girlfriend has parents who don't notice her at all.
She come's to me and says "Get me pregnant, my parents will pay attention then."
I only want to make her happy, so we've tried a few times,
no news yet.

Now, I realize how idiotic that choice was.
We decided, if she is,
where going to keep the baby,
I'll drop out of school,
and we will raise the baby,
because abortion... out of the question.
adoption... if they didn't spend 9mths carrying it, why should they claim the baby?

Do you think this is wise?
ANd if so..
what should I except from helping her with the pregnancey, and being a father?

Answer 1

Being a father is about being responsible. I'd say that you were making a good decision with sticking with her. If she wants her parents attention, you should ask their blessing on your marriage... that should get it, and you are doing a good and right thing.

Answer 2

I'm not going to call you an idiot because you obviously are aware of that fact.

1. You're an idiot.
2. Dropping out of school is the worst thing you could do for that baby. You plan on pushing a mop for the rest of your miserable life? Go to college and be a real father.
3. Why is adoption so awful? Wouldn't you want your child to grow up in a loving, stable home with two dedicated parents who would give him/her everything she ever needed? They didn't spend 9 months carrying it because, even though they desperately want children, for whatever reasons they have been unable to concieve. It's a slap in their faces that a punk like you can knock up another child.
4. A baby will change your life in ways you never imagined possible. You will have no social life, no money, no sleep, ever. And don't you DARE tell her parents this was their daughter's idea - that'll get you on their hitlist faster than you can say "Oops."
5. Put on a condom or keep your trousers on next time. Idiot.

Answer 3

You need to help your girlfriend realize that having a baby won't make everything better. She needs counseling if she thinks that it will! She will quickly find out when she gets pregnant and has the baby that it was a stupid idea and a BAD way to try to get attention. She'll get attention all right, but not the positive kind! You don't bring a BABY into the world to get attention from your parents. It's a baby, 24/7 responsibility for AT LEAST the next 18-19 years of your life! She can't just decide she doesn't want the baby anymore when it doesn't fit into her plans anymore.

You might think that dropping out of school will give the baby more since you can get a job and provide for him/her. But do you know what your chance of getting a decent job that will allow you to provide what the baby needs is?? Not very high at all...

As to your question about why someone who hasn't spent 9 months carrying the baby should be able to "claim" it, they can provide much more for the baby than you most likely will ever be able to. Many couples who adopt have gone through years and years of trying to conceive and want a baby and don't care if it's their biological child or not, they just want a baby to love and care for. Please don't underestimate the heartache that many adoptive couples have gone through in trying to conceive their own children. They're not greedy people who want to take people's babies away. They are eternally grateful to the birth parents for giving them the opportunity to raise, love, and care for their babies. Do you really think that you'll be able to provide everything for a baby that an adoptive couple who is well off (adoption is expensive so many couples who adopt are well-off) can? Loving the baby is one thing but being able to afford diapers, formula, clothes, dr. visits, daycare, etc., etc. is something else entirely! All I'm saying is please consider your options and don't dismiss adoption because you don't think someone has the right to "claim" your baby because they didn't carry it for 9 months.

Answer 4

Why don't you call around and get some prices on rent and utilities? Remember, you'll also need a security deposit & a deposit on utilities. You'll need transportation too, right? Lets see, car payment, insurance, maintance on the car, gas. Hmm... I'm guessing that you don't have any furniture, since you're only 16. Might as well get some prices on that too. Oh, I forgot about the baby! Hmmm... have you priced formula, diapers, baby furniture? Formula is about 4 bucks a can.. the baby will go through at least one a day. You better find a really good job! I haven't even listed half of the expenses that your going to have to pay. Are you ready to give up all your freedom? Because your not going to have any! Be prepared to go to work on only a few hours sleep because you aren't going to get very much. Please stop living in a fantasy world & get with reality!! It's hard to make it in this world. You shoulldn't have a baby until you're psy. & financially able. This would be a big mistake.

Answer 5

NO NEVER EVER EVER WISE! 16 is way too young. Man, Don't they teach you guys sex ed? It will be stress on you and her and 8 out of 10 couples under 21 who have a baby don't last. They seperate. Then you will always have a child to look after. Seriously though, really no offense, but are you smokin crack? Come on, get serious.
Umm I know your a guy, but I think that you should go to www.seventeen.com and go under the sex smarts section. Read some of the stories of the kids who have kids of their own and live in a crappy little trailer. UNHAPPY
Miserable
unable to pay

If your G/F is pregnant, seriously consider putting the baby up for adoption. If your girlfriend keeps presurring you, tell her to stop and you don' want to have a kid. Dont give into peer presure. Believe me, I am the daughter of a 17 year old mother. Well, Shes not 17 now but you know what I mean.
It sucks.
My dad left my mom.
Even if you swear you won't do it, you probably will.
At least wait until your out of your teens.
If your girlfriend keeps pressuring you, dump her
I mean it
DUMP HER


I wish all the luck in the world to ya'

Oh, and in the future get tested before you have unprotected sex, you might already have an STD. You never know. Then you run the risk of infecting a baby. Not good.

P.S. I think your Girlfriend needs to get a life. Get involved in something. Sex is not the way to handle things. Guide her.
My mom is like that too.
I know how it feels to be her.

Answer 6

I don't think this is very wise, You both are too Young to be parents, a baby might get her attention, but not the right type. I hope she isn't yet, but if she is, be a man and take care of your responsibility ( but DONT quit school, that would make it harder on You as a family) Give her more attention, but start using protection if You are going to have sex. I am 30, and my boyfriend and I considered doing the same thing just because I want a child, but we changed our minds because we aren't financially ready. Wait tell you guys grow up please that way You both and any children You have can have a better start at life, also maybe she needs to tell her parents she needs more of there time, or maybe You could talk to them for her, just don't mention the sex thing, they may take it out on you. Good Luck, and remember Your rain coat!! or Abstinence

Answer 7

Hope your girlfriend is not pregnant. You should cross your fingers, toes, eyes, and in the future your legs! You'll drop out of high school and raise the baby? ON WHAT? Welfare? A college degree earns a poor living these days and you want to drop out of high school?
What you can expect as a high school drop out with a baby is minimum wage jobs that won't make ends meet, long hours doing possibly menial tasks possibly under the supervision of people with poor work ethic and power hungry personalities, personal frustration, feeling cheated out of your youth, anger, depression, and a dysfunctional relationship with your girlfriend, her family and your own.
I'm not bashing you. You think you are in love and supporting this girlfriend of yours emotionally, but you seem to be in need of a lot of validation yourself. I suggest you visit a family planning clinic soon for counseling on birth control and safer sex methods, although I believe ABSTINENCE would be the best choice for both you and your girlfriend.
Babies are not tools to use to get attention. They require a LIFETIME of love, commitment and support both physically, emotionally, and sometimes even financially, in one way or another. YOU ARE A CHILD. Children should not have children. Please reconsider your thinking. I hope your girlfriend is not pregnant and you will not attempt to help her in her quest for attention again in this manner.
If she is pregnant, seek out an organization called Parents Too Soon, because you will be just that. They will help with guidance, counseling, activities, support groups, parenting classes and a lot more.
Good luck.
Wait until you grow up and are somewhat financially stable before bringing a life into the world. Enjoy your teen years. For all the angst you are experiencing, please know that where you are right now are the most carefree days you'll ever know in life. Enjoy them without the responsibility of trying to raise a child when you are still a child yourself.

Answer 8

First of all..As someone has already posted..The two of you are not married.
One...If she becomes pregnant or is pregnant..How do you think you would take care of a family without an education?

Newsflash..It will be soon, you'll need a college education to work at McDonald's. Most places today will not hire you, if you don't have a high school diploma. And if you are lucky to find a job that will hire you, it will not be enough to support yourself & a family.
The wisest choice in this situation is to:
1. Stop having sex with this girl and dump her.
2. Change your way of thinking, you will not be helping this girl..You'll only be creating a problem for yourself as well as this girl and an innocent baby.
3. Concentrate on finishing high school and begin planning your future with a college education.

Answer 9

Yay! So she gets to have a baby that the family ignores as well.

For crying out loud, can't she just cut herself or something for attention? Why bring an innocent baby into the dysfunction that is her "family"?

My recommendation is you start praying for there not to be a pregnancy then run. If you are "in love" I suggest you take your girlfriend to a clinic (planned parenthood or something similiar) and sit down with a doctor (it will be free of charge, and/or a helluva lot cheaper than having a child out of wedlock at 16) talk about your concerns.

If you can't get your gf to a clinic go to the school guidance counselor and tell them that your gf wants a child and you are concerned for her mental health.

Then let her go and move on. Get some counseling for yourself so that you never put yourself in such a stupid situation again. You seem intelligent enough, my god a question asked by a teenager that wasn't made up of commas and broken sentences! Brilliant!

Please, get out of the relationship, you sound as if you have had an epiphany hun, go with it. Get good grades, immerse yourself in something, ANYTHING, but having a baby with an attention starved girl (what would she do if she one day thought you weren't paying attention to her? yikes!) and prepare for college.

Good luck...

Answer 10

If shes pregnant than thank you your being more mature than any guys I know at your age would be. They would all ditch her and say it isnt theres. If shes not pregnant then stop trying neather one of you are mature enough.

Also in the end you if she turns out pregnant you might realise that neather one of you are old enough or mature enough to take care of a baby. So giveing it up for adoption is a good idea you can make it an open adoption so that you will have the rights to see the child as they grow. This way you can also exsplain to the child I created you I love you and I want you to have a better life that I could ever have given to you.

Answer 11

Don't. You're too young to become a parent. Both of you. Your girlfriend should just talk to her parents and if you become a parnet now and drop out of school life is going to be hard for the rest of your life, for you, your gf and your baby. Work harder in school and go to college and have a good career and a good life. Then think about the baby. Whatever kind of money you can make the way you are now isn't going to be enough to raise a child. Unless you're rich or something.