this is my first child and i wanted him to be really happy about this. I want to include him on when I first felt the baby kick and he didnt seem happy like i was. Maybe since i'm pregnant i'm going throught some strange emotions. What do you think?
2006-08-02 15:58:00 · 26 answers · asked by bernie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps, like many men, he keeps much of his emotions inside. It's very possible. Some men scream and shout. Some men smile on the inside. Or perhaps there's more to it. There's really no way to tell. Atleast not for me. Talk to him about it. Can't go wrong there.
2006-08-02 16:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that his lack of enthusiasm may have nothing to do with you or the new baby - It may be that he is scared of becoming a father again since he already has 2 children that he probably feels like he failed because he couldn't work it out with their mother and now they belong to a broken home. I'm sure that when he married his first wife he thought it was forever and that he and his ex and thier children would be a unit forever but that didn't happen - don't take his lack of excitement personally he will warm up sweetie it's just that he's done this before and feels as if he has already failed at this once and he's probably doesn't want to fail again.
2006-08-02 23:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by 2deep4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK.. my sis went through the exact same situation.. 2 kids from a previous marriage and then a lil girl with my sis... and yes he didn't seem thrilled.. but you know what we figured... he feels guilty... he doesn't want to be a better father to this kid than he what he was to the other 2 or vice versa... just relax.. throughout the pregnancy.. enjoy your first child! He will most likely change once the child is born! Best of luck!
2006-08-02 23:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by C a R L i T a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey he has been there 2 times. So it loses excitement. But for you its first experience tell him that its new for u and want him to share the excitement of the baby with you.take him to all doctor visits.do some shopping for the baby with him. If he isnt interested for all things atleast he will show interest in 25 % things. you can start building on that.Show him when the baby is kicking after all this then he will be delighted.
2006-08-02 23:23:33 · answer #4 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two kids from my previous marriage, and if my partner was pregnant i'd be over the moon about it! You may find it's a little bit of been there, done that. Maybe it's stirred up emotions he hasn't dealt with? You sound fine to me, a baby is something you SHOULD be happy about, and naturally expect the father to share your joy. I hope he comes around. Talk to him, let him know what you're feeling.
2006-08-02 23:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by DragonRyda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend has 2 ex wifes and the 1st one has 3 kids. The 2nd one has 2. He says when he married the 2nd wife he already had experienced childbirth three times and all of that stuff and he just wasn't as excited when the 2nd wife turned up pregnant. He was happy about it but not the same as when he did it the 1st time.
2006-08-02 23:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. When my wife now found out she was pregnant we were in shock and it was hard for me to act excited because I felt like my other 2 kids would feel left out. My wife involved them through the entire pregnancy and the guilty feelings went away. Our nwe baby is now 2 and she is a blast. Her older brother and sister are crazy about her also.
2006-08-02 23:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is afraid. afraid that you might leave him and he will lose another child as he did before. He was burned before by a woman and the baby may bring back those hurt feelings of the loss he already suffered. Believe me, he might get to see his children on visitations, but an ex wife and the court systems of this country can make a man feel as if he has no rights and decision abilities for his own children. He hurts because he no longer has that daily contact with the children he was supposed to be a part of all their life. It happened to me. When my second wife got pregnant she noticed I was doing the same as your husband. She talked to me and made me feel assured that our future was secure and things would be different with us. Then I turned around and rejoiced in the birth of our beautiful baby girl.
2006-08-02 23:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is, did he agree to have this baby?
If so, then relax and let thing srun their course. So many people read all this stuff and listen to what other people say they should be feeling and doing. Every couple is different. I think you should take it easy and let everythign come naturally and not try to force him to feel any particular way. Sure he should be excited too, but some show their emotions a bit differently.
If he didn't want to have this baby, this shows you that you have a serious problem.
2006-08-02 23:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you get pregnant without his consent or did you plan this child together? If he was part of the decision then he needs to step up to the plate and be there for you. If he didn't want any more children and you got pregnant, then you both are responsible and need to talk about this. If you snuck in this pregnancy without him agreeing, then you are going to have to figure this out yourself.
2006-08-02 23:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋