It has been 16 years down the tube. I have a 14 year old bro. I need help!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-02 15:40:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your parents to grow up and act like they have children instead of acting like children. It's hard on kids to go through divorce. Let them know they are making a mistake they will regret, because it is the kids who suffer the most. The lawyers who gain the most. But if they still get a divorce, you and your brother have a right to make demands, legally, like support for counseling. The upside to divorce is you can tell both parents Never to talk bad to you kids about the other parent or family. You won't have to hear them argue anymore. They might be happier better parents and you could get to travel a little and see and meet people you would not have otherwise. Just be good to yourself and don't do stupid things to punish them. It WILL hurt you more than them. They will just be disappointed, your life could be ruined.
2006-08-02 15:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your parents. If that doesn't work, make them take you to a counselor or therapist. Talk to your friends whose parents are either divorced already or are also getting divorced. A lot of the answers here are good. Your parents still love you.
I really hope they don't try to use you to get back at each other. Don't let one parent try to "turn" you against the other one. You will be the loser there.
And your possible future stepmom/stepdad can become your friend and ally, if you let them.
You are not alone. About 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. I'm so sorry it's happening to you at the cusp of your adolescence. You have enough to deal with w/o getting sucked into your parents' drama.
The best thing for you to do is try to figure out what is upsetting you so much about the divorce... is it who you will live with? Moving? Changing schools? "Losing" one parent? (is one of your parents planning to move really far away? -- personally, I think that's a BIG MISTAKE and I hope they don't choose to do this) Money? (you should not have to worry about that, but that doesn't mean you won't) Once you figure out the top 5 things that are the most upsetting to you, talk to your parents (alone, or together) and they will be able to give you some idea of what to expect.
*hugs*
Best of luck to you.
2006-08-02 22:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Remember that your parents love you and that this is by no way your fault.
2. Accept that changes are coming. My parents are divorced, so for many years, this meant 2 of everything (2 X-mases, 2 Thanksgivings, 2 homes). You may at some point have to move, but you should be able to stay close to where you currently live.
3. Understand that your parents are doing this because at least one of them isn't happy being married. Their unhappiness can lead to really rough times at home, even worse than the ones you fear now.
4. Don't take one parent's side over the other. You lose out that way.
2006-08-02 22:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by Nav 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can calm down by realizing that your both of your parents love you and your brother both very much and it's probably extremely hard for them that their marriage is not working out. Realize that they are not divorcing you and your brother just each other. Adults are the best judges of what their tolerance level is and they may not be able to work it out anymore and feel that it's better to not have you and your brother grow up in an environment that is negative by arguing with one another all the time. Let them know how you feel and I am sure they will assure you that they love you and will do the best they can to help you and your brother adjust to the changes
2006-08-02 23:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by 2deep4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that it is not your fault. This is between your mom and dad. Maybe they will get along better with some distance between them. I think that it might be for the best. I am older now, my parents just got a divorce....I wish they would have divorced when I was a teen and younger, it would have been better for me to see them be civil to each other like they are now, instead of how I think they traumatized me when they were "staying together for the kids". I think you will be just fine in the long run. Be strong and good luck.
2006-08-03 00:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by lavendergrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not 16yrs down the tube. You and your brother are not at fault for any of this. Your parents love you. It is just sometimes two people fall out of love with each other. It does happen, even if you were older it would still happen. It is not an easy situation for any one, but it will get better. Maybe you could talk to your parents and inform them of your feelings whatever they might be, and ask to get some counseling for yourself and your brother. Just remember, please remember YOU are not the cause of any of the things your parents are going through... I know that it is hard because my parents divorced when I was 18, and they were married for about22 yrs and it was not any easier then but I did realize that they are two different people with two different interests and they needed to go two different ways to become who they wanted to be. selfish? maybe, but as I get older I realize and grow more from that,. Best of luck to you and GOD BLESS......
2006-08-02 22:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you and your brother are freaking out and wondering what's going to happen to you and your brother. Look, your parents just came to a point in their marriage where they feel that being apart is better than being together. As long as they both still love you, then everyone will get over it.
Thousands, if not tens of thousands of children have gone through divorces with no ill effect, and you will too.
Good luck and stay strong...
2006-08-02 22:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by DarthFangNutts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you are going though this, all I can say that I am positive your parents are doing what is best for your family, sometimes things don't go according to plan. Your parents probably debated long and hard over this decision, and have come to the conclusion that this is the best, even if you are not able to see it right now. I'll pray for you and sweetie, just keep your head up and know your parents love you very very much!!
2006-08-02 23:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Completly in love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, It may look really bad now but it will be ok. My parents divorced when I was 11 years old too. I had two younger brothers to look out for. Things may be hard at first but they will get better. Don't get so upset you make yourself sick. I know what you are going through. There are many other people that know what you are going through. I promise things will get better. :)
2006-08-02 23:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by Pawsitive K9 Consulting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not that big a deal, it happens to more than half of the families in america.
my parents are divorced...it happens sometimes, they both still love you, but there is no reason for them to live together anymore if they are no longer in love and are unhappy in their current situation.
sometimes, divorce makes things better. hope that they stay friends.
and on the bright side...if they are on bad terms, they will try and buy you and your brothers' love with lots of money and presents!
2006-08-02 22:50:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋