What do you make of a couple in the 20 to 30 year old range and have two children but the husband has no real interest in sex? (I'm talking months at a time).You are certain he is not having any type of affair and you are convinced he loves you. You are clean, well groomed, a good mother, keep a lovely home, is aaffectionate and kind. What do you think could be the explanation?
2006-08-02 15:34:46 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the explanation could be as simple as with a wonderful wife and two gorgeous children he feels his life is sooo complete sex has no further purpose for him... ie. he forgot about the fun side of sex...
also he is very likely to be worried about a lot of things, like how does a man like him deserve such a good break in life.... (male answer to this is often .... he works his butt off and wears himself down to a frazzle to ddeserve it all)
men and women are not so far different... some men look for and want a lot of sex and some dont...
my partner and I have a great sex life but sometimes he simply does not feel like having sex... it is really that simple... it is not about how he feels about you... it is not about whether he is attrcted to you or not.... he simply has phases that he goes through when he does not want sex..
2006-08-02 16:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of possibilities.
1) Do you tell him you love him? That he's a good dad? That you are glad he's your man? That you desire him? Do you initiate lovemaking?
2) Is he under a lot of stress? Work? Parental health? Recent death in the family? (My brother's death erased my libido for a long while.)
3) Could he be depressed? Bipolar? (Depressed men just lose interest. Bipolar men lose interest when they are down and get it back when they are up?)
4) Has his appearance changed? Weight gain? Grey hair? He may not feel desirable.
5) Plan a weekend or evening w/o the kids. Eat, dance, drink a little, smooch a lot, see what happens.
If this list doesn't help, you should probably make an appointment with a marriage counselor and get to the bottom of it ASAP. More time won't help; it will just make it more difficult.
2006-08-02 23:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why...
Be open and honest.
get the kids a babysitter incase the conversation becomes heavy or the actions.
watch the movie "she's the one" . . .
If possible go on a date together.
Talk now so the situation doesn't become worse...
It could be happening for any reason...
Hopefully he is just tired.
Good luck.
You should go to lunch with him during the week once in a while, you probably are busy having kids but, if you can find a babysitter for the time lunch could take. If you make him lunch then slip in a cute love note...
2006-08-02 22:43:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I had a simalar question too. Im 32 and my husband is 34. Most people on here told me that if he provides for me financially not to sweat the sex. Bullshit. Obviously many people dont know that part of a good marriage is intamacy. I think it could be stress, if he is under a lot. or a chemical imbalance, you could try to talk him into going to the dr. Have you tried new things. Ive been flirting with mine more. Like when we first got married. 12 years ago. Its helping. he's getting the hint. Good. Luck. Been there.
2006-08-02 22:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by motherof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men in there late 20 are very active and sometime we are to active and forget to take care of the lady at home.. other thing that can stop a sex drive is there is to much stress in his day to day life. but the biggest thing that stops sex drive is bad eating habits and not working out. did you now if you walk about a 4 laps 3 time a week and eat good food you will have strong sex drive. i hope this helps i use to be that way and now that i walk and eat good food i have great sex .. good luck.
2006-08-02 22:44:56 · answer #5 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men reach their sexual peak at 18, women at 30. Your problem is not uncommon among happily married people. It's role reversal time. You have to seduce him. It won't take much and once his motor gets running he'll have all the virility of an 18 year old again with the added bonus of extra endurance.
Of course if you're some big fat cow, you may wan't to try alcohol. LOL
2006-08-02 22:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by Andrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have a problem (like erectile dysfunction) he is embarrased to talk about....maybe something else is stressing him out (work, family, etc)
Talk to him! Tell him that you really love him, but lately you are feeling that he isn't interested in you and before you feel upset or frustrated, you want to talk about it to prevent future problems....if he doesn't open up, see if he'll meet w/ you and a sex therapist....try new things to spice it up...surprise him....guys like to be romanced too
2006-08-02 22:43:05 · answer #7 · answered by Erving Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably tired. How many hours a week does he work? Arrange to have somebody watch the kids one weekend night, have a nice quiet evening with just the 2 of you. Buy something "special" to wear, just for him, and see if that don't get his attention.
Good Luck
2006-08-02 22:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by RepoMan18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I had the same problem (but much worse) and never was able to get to the bottom of it. That relationship ended after almost 13 years.
2006-08-02 22:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by beadtheway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to him about your problem? Ask him if it is him or you! Sounds like he has come to a stage where he is contented and has fulfilled his criteria of what life is all about...what's next in the agenda? Alternatively he may not be as highly sexed as you are?
2006-08-02 22:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by singirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋