Pregnant....What to do????

Question

I am 21, I already have a one year old. First time having sex after concieving her and I am now pregnant. Everyone says it is up to me, but I don't know what to do. The guy says the same thing. He has 2 of his own and he is older. I want to make a decision by Sunday. I don't believe in abortions but if that is what is best for me and my daughter then so be it...... SINGLE MOTHER HERE!!

I also don't think that I could carry a baby full term and then give it away.

Answer 1

Honey your 21. Just had a baby a year ago and your pregnant again. Didn't you learn from the first time? I am sorry to be so insenstive but you are being taught an important lesson and you don't seem to be listening.

You have said You don't believe in abortion and you can't give the baby up to adoptions. That means you have answered your own question. Your only option is to have the baby.

Answer 2

Well honey, I am sort of in the same boat. But, my situation is the guy I got pregnant by is abusive. I was trying to decide between an abortion and keeping the baby.
There is NO WAY I could live with myself if I had an abortion. That is just my way of seeing it. It was something I was really thinking about doing, but my conscience got the best of me.
Then I could NOT carry a baby for nine months and then give that baby away. There's a bond there. I just couldn't do that.
Then you have to figure, that baby did not choose this. YOU DID.
That baby deserves as much a chance as any other. And if it comes down to it, there are so many couples out there that would LOVE to have a baby.
If you really are having a hard time with this decision, speak with someone whom you trust and can confide in. It always helps to see how they see the situation. You never know who might be willing to lend a helping hand.
But honey, I have 2 children from a previous marriage, where I don't get ANY help, and now another on the way...And I see this as new opportunities. Yes it is definitely financially hard, but everything else makes up for it.
Best of luck to you!!

Answer 3

If you were ready to have sex and risk the chance of getting pregnant than you should be able to deal with the consequences. That is a human being. I was a single mother with my first child and I am now married and have a second child. My husband however is deployed to Iraq and hasn't been around since the baby was 3 weeks old. I do it everyday by myself and I'm sure you can too. If you don't feel like you can handle another baby then give it up for adoption. They do have open adoptions out there so that you can still see your baby some and the parents will send you pictures and stuff. That way you can still have contact. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I personally being a single mother of a 1 year old and currently being pregnant again feel that you can do it even if the father isnt there for you. I will never tell someone to go and get an abortion they are sick and wrong. There are plenty of couples in the united states that cannot have children of their own and would be more than happy to adopt. Give the baby a chance in the world if not with you atleast with someone else. Dont be selfish. My girlfriend found a couple that payed for all of the prenatal visits and hospital for the delivery so they could adopt a child of their own. The choice is yours.

Answer 5

As difficult as this may seem, I would advise you if you were MY daughter to NOT have an abortion. Have the baby and give it up to a family who will want and love it! You will always know you loved that baby enough to do the RIGHT thing, not the EASY one! You may even be able to set it up to where you could choose your baby's parents, and stay abreast of his/her development. Just hang in there, and know you are being thought of out here! Good luck with whatever you decide.


In answer to your additional comment, honey, you can do anything that you HAVE to do! Some things are easier than others, but that doesn't make the difficult ones any less right. Carrying a child to full term and then giving it up for adoption IS difficult, but love for someone else that is stronger than your own sense of loss is what is key here. What is best for that baby? That is your main concern!

Answer 6

Are you more concerned about what people will think? Or if it's going to be hard having to raise another child?

If it's the first questions, who cares what people think, are they doing anything to help you raise your first child? People always have there opinions of you no matter what you do. If you have a baby out of wedlock, your a whore, if you try to be successful you think you're too important and more then everyone else.

If it's the second take it from me, if you can raise one child by yourself, raising another will come as second nature. I'm not saying that it's not going to have its challenges, but the rewards will be worth it.

Don't think that just because you have 2 children no one will want you, that's a lie. I met my husband 7 years ago right after I had my second child and we have been married for 5 years. We also had 2 more children, and he treats my first two like they are his. He is the provider in our household, and I'm in school finishing up my education in Psychology.

Answer 7

First of all, don't rush your decision. Consult a non-related third party (pregnancy counsellor, social worker, etc) and get their feel for what you should od. If you don't believe in abortions, don't feel like its your only option!!! Adoption is always an option -- you'll be giving the best gift you could possibly give to a family who is having a hard time conceiving!

Most importantly, remember, this is your decision. Don't let anyone force you in to anything.

Answer 8

A little freaked out!
Don't worry you'll be fine, right now your emotional and scared. Two is a little more challenging than one but at the same time it's a lot easier.

I suspect you'll keep the baby, you sound a lot like me. Im 23 and 38weeks with my third. Look at all the pros and cons. Your daughter will have a playmate, you will have another bundle of joy to take care of. Don't be deterred just because your single.

Good luck in deciding.

Answer 9

Don't rush the decision. First go to a few adoption places and check them out. Look at a few potential parents that are wanting to adopt a child because they can't have their own. Their are millions of them waiting for a newborn. If you do decide to do abortion please use condoms or BC or something next time, so you are not faced with a hard decision again.

Answer 10

If you were planning on having more than one child now would be a good time to do it. They would be close together, you would have most of the supplies you need for another baby. After the birth you could have your tubes tied and have no more worries about pregnancy. Don't doubt your abilities to raise your children. There is a lot of help out there to help you.