You may be in love with this man, but from my own experience I can tell you this situation will only worsen for you. Please pursue help for yourself before you drown in his illness. It's not cold or harsh to leave someone to save yourself, his manipulation of you is a form of abuse. It's sad that he has this horrible disease ...but there's nothing you can do for him....he has to seek help for himself.
My ex-husband developed schizophrenia & was very abusive...I left him because he refused to stay on his medication, it's been several years & he's pretty much the same. I had to let go & move on with my life, I've never been happier. It's not vain to love yourself first, it's the path to freedom.
2006-08-02 16:50:21
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answer #1
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answered by Ivyvine 6
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He needs to be on medicine. this isn't the way you or he want to spend your lives is it? there are assorted drugs available for this, and once you locate one which works the version is nighttime and day. in case you want this to artwork he needs to get the help he needs. If he's bipolar the indicators can worsen. My brother-in-regulation has it, and it turned right into a nightmare till now he changed into clinically determined. He could be in a manic state and do all kinds of issues yet no longer be able to describe why, and then even as he changed into depressed he did not go away the domicile for weeks. He finally said a well being practitioner and it saved his marriage. it really is nonetheless something that he has to artwork with. from time to time even as he's satisfied he stops the medicine, and then later realizes that he needs to bypass decrease back on it. incredibly attempt to get him to be certain a well being practitioner about this. it truly is so worth it.
2016-11-27 22:02:40
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Has he actually been diagnosed with bipolar? If so, he needs to get on the proper meds to control the symptoms and live as much of a normal life as possible. If he is not willing to do this, you will have to evaluate whether or not it's worth it to sacrifice your happiness to stay with this guy. Staying and tolerating the behavior isn't helping him; it only makes you an enabler, and he will never be motivated to get the proper help if there's no consequence for neglecting to do so. Losing you might be a wakeup call for him. Don't allow yourself to be used and manipulated just because you're worried about what it might do to HIM. He's not worrying about what the manipulation does to YOU, so don't give him the same courtesy. Have him see a doctor if he hasn't already, and if he refuses, end the relationship. I have a son who is bipolar, and I know the behavior very well. Make his actions have consequences and you may see some changes. Peace...
2006-08-02 14:59:25
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answer #3
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answered by ?princesshousewife? 3
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This guy is a dangerous offender " to you "! One minute he is loving you all out and the next he's devaluating you to no end! He has surely got your attention, your devotion, after all does he not declare his love and all, does he not give you his undevided attention - until he's in one of his black moods!!
This is the killer - after he's got you hooked - what does he do - his behavior changes. So now he shuts you out - he is bored of you - he is critical - he seems preoccupied.
Honey, this guy sounds like your " drug pusher " - he's the only one who can stop your pain and make you feel happy again.
Then again maybe its more like the fly with the spider and you sweetie are caught in his web " of control ". Your probably confused also, about who he really is, and who you are as well.
If you try to bring up the issue of his hurtful behaviour, he says your criticizing and gets angry or he gives you the cold shoulder. Right about now, I bet you feel powerless and probably depressed to boot!
To sum it up the way that I see your relationship, honey, I am really sorry that you have the misfortune of being involved with a guy like this. You've allowed this guy to control your life and your emotions . The way I see it is if a man shows positive feelings,attitudes, and " behaviours " toward the woman they love, she will feel valuable and worthwhile as a human being. But if his feelings are less than positive, or if his behaviour doesn't convey an attitude of love and interest in or commitment to your relationship, the guy is a down-right loser. And if your committed to staying in such a relationship, then you, my dear are your own worst enemy.
This boyfriend of yours needs a psychologist not a lover. I would seriously think about getting out of this relationship or have him seek the help he needs. Good luck and I hope thing work for the better, life is too short to have somebody else run it for you.
2006-08-02 15:43:38
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answer #4
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answered by trieghtonhere 4
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It's called bi-polar, they no longer use the term manic. He hurts himself in hopes of getting more attention from you. It sounds like he needs an adjustment to his medication. If someone is on the proper medication they can live a life with almost no symptoms of the disease. He may also need some counseling in addition to the medicine to learn to better control his anger. Good luck.
2006-08-02 14:54:44
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answer #5
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answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6
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What ever he's doing is very destructive to you.I think it's time to put your foot down and tell him that you've had enough of his crap and that he can get help or you're outa here. He'll probably threaten to hurt himself which has seemed to be working to keep you in line so far.Bi-polar Disorder, which is the medical name for it is very treatable with the right meds.I'm not convinced that's the only problem however. There is something called Borderline Personality that isn't very treatable. These people are often charming and fun to be with as long as they get their way. They thrive on drama and chaos and won't allow any peace for long.They don't really care one little bit about how you feel-it's all about them.They love the feeling of power they get from making other people react the way they want them to and will often do hurtful things just to get things stirred up. They lie so well that you start to doubt what you know to be true. About the time you've decided to run for your life,suddenly the charm gets turned on and you can do no wrong and get treated like a queen till he gets bored again and the whole cycle starts over. If this sounds like your boyfriend,RUN as fast as you can. YOU CANNOT FIX HIM AND HE"LL DESTROY WHAT SHRED OF SELF ESTEEM YOU HAVE LEFT. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE, NOT EVEN HIMSELF.Please consider what I've said. If you're living with him try to keep things as calm as possible and quietly do what you need to do to leave-arrange a safe place,save some money-I suspect he can't hold a job and you're the one working.Don't tell him till all your arrangements are in place because I guarentee he'll talk you out of it one way or another. Better yet, move while he's out and email him. I know this sounds really harsh but you have to think of him as poison that will eventually suck the life out of you. I saw all this happen to a friend of mine. He's one of the nicest,kindest men I know and he married a girl like this and it nearly destroyed his life. He ended up being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is just now feeling like himself after 4 years. I wouldn't have believed the stories he told from anyone else but he's also the most honest person I know. Please think hard about this. Whatever your guy's actual problem is he treats you very badly. Do you want this man to father your children? Many of the mental illness have a genetic link. What kind of a dad will he be? Will he play the same games with his children? You bet he will! Do you see your self still in this situation in 10 years? 15? 40? Unless he's treatable and agrees to get help and follow his treatment program what you see is what you get ,only it will get worse and worse with time. Sorry for the rant. I work with women on mental health and relationship issues and try to help them put their lives back together after trying to "fix" someone who either isn't fixable or doesn't want to be fixed 'cause he's having way too much fun wreeking havoc everywhere he goes.Good luck and God bless you.
2006-08-02 15:41:13
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answer #6
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answered by whnp 3
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I think when a person is manic depressive you'll dealing with a person who can change from one minute to the next. He needs to be evaluated and put on medication. If he takes his meds you guys may have a chance but if he doesn't not matter how much you love him it's not going to work. Sorry.
2006-08-02 14:54:39
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answer #7
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answered by daljack -a girl 7
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Yikes! He is a very disturbed p[erson, and you MUST save your soul by breaking up. You owe him nothing!!! Did you heare this? Nothing! You must save yours,lef. This can only get worse.
2006-08-02 14:54:04
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answer #8
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answered by Legandivori 7
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